This day just needs to end now.

Well, I came home from work and crashed hard. One of those don't even take your clothes off kind of crashing. Just woke up and now I'm hungry and will be up all night. How retarded can you get? Guess it's time for a horror movie night.

Everything I touched today at work was a problem. Ever had one of those days? It was almost funny at a certain point.

Now Louie just puked all over the floor. Super. I'm thinking this day just needs to end now.

Completely Different People Now

A very nice dinner with my mom tonight. We sat next to this cozy fireplace and ate entirely too much tasty food. We discussed some deep topics. Many things have happened to us both (internally) in the last several months. This time last year I was a completely different person than I am now. Too much to go into on a blog, but important to note, nonetheless.

Martini's & Lips

Martini night fun. Great friends, great conversation, great time. (I'm still banging my head against the table from the political discussion, though, hehe.) Juice, you'll have to bring Matt next time so I can have somebody in my corner.

Yes, I posted some silly pics. I was bored in the car. We have, "Pucker up and show off the new lip gloss lips", "Trying to be the Rocky Horror Picture Show lips", "Happy thoughts", and "Deer in the headlights". My martini cohorts, Annie and Amy, and my chili pepper lights in the tree.

Pissy Morning Face

Going out with the girls tonight for $3 martini night. Woohoo!

My face will look a lot different then, right now I need caffeine.

A Not-So-Girly Post

I made a breakthrough in therapy today. Finally. This should have been a big "DUH", but it wasn't. I've been making all these changes lately, right? Making some tough decisions, preparing to move away from everything and everyone I know, taking better care of myself, etc. Those are great, but I've still been feeling depressed and stuck and, here's the epiphany. I'm bored! My therapist listened to me today and all of a sudden started flipping through her notes and looked up and said, "You need some stimulation!" I said, "Excuse me?" (LOL) She said you are a 100% adrenaline junkie who has been sitting at home, only occasionally getting out. She said someone like me will never be happy unless I'm stimulating my "adrenaline" somehow. She said I also need to get out and meet people, isolating is a big danger for me. We talked about some things I might be able to do right away, and we came up with one possibility. Boxing Club. That's right, boxing. I used to belong about 8 years ago but had to quit because I was working about 80 hours a week at two jobs. Now I'm not. Boxing is a hoot! It is the BEST workout you will EVER get, and the people there were so nice. One of the guys there told me I have a great right hook.

I hope I can do it. It will take some of the doldrums out and get my blood pumping again. I'll definitely sleep better. GUAR-AN-TEED. Have you ever tried boxing a round? I run out of oxygen in about 45 seconds with sweat POURING off of me. (I know that doesn't sound feminine, but boxing makes you look great naked.) So, let's recap. I'm bored. The solution? Hit people and get kicked in the head. Perfect. If I do it, you will be seeing some pretty entertaining pictures. I'm probably going to have to eat less cheese, though.

Enchiladas & Dead Like Me

Gaze your eyes upon my dinner of cheese. CrazyDogMama's enchiladas. I'm going to watch a rerun of "Dead Like Me" and devour some of these.

Spiders, Fog & Louie

There was a spider blocking the entrance to my car on the way to the GYM. I freaked out and had 100 lb. JENNY kill it for me. I know, an ex-cop afraid of spiders. They make me nuts. I almost shot one once.

My assessment of the fog this morning. Visibility: Not far.

Louie now stands OVER his water dish to eat. He is a truly bizarre dog.

Magnetic Spice Canisters

Everyone needs these. Magnetic spice cannisters for the frig. They are AWESOME. It frees up space in the pantry, and no more hunting for the right spice! I know you will immediately run out and get them.

There is one problem, though. If you are OCD like me, and just one of them gets out of place? Yeah. That's the downside.

Texas?

I guess you could say this is the "same old stuff", but with new info and a twist. Back to Texas talk. California is pretty much out of the picture completely. I don't want to get into the why's, but it is. I am really thinking more and more that I want to try San Antonio. Everything I read about it flips my lid. I know, I know, every single person I tell this to looks at me like I am one sandwich short of a picnic, but seriously? Texas actually fits my personality perfectly. Many people don't know me as well as they think they do. I am a red-meat-eating, sun-basking, thunderstorm-loving, conservative, bible-belt sort of girl who (sorry Nichole) doesn't always recycle properly. (You all know I think we are going to die in a nuclear war anyway, which won't be doing the environment any good.) Flooding? The town I live in floods every single year because the river overflows. BAD. And not only that, but the snow also makes for 9-hour (no joke) commutes in the winter. Snow was fun when I was a kid, but it sucks when you have to drive in it. Bugs? Orkin man. Air conditioning bill? I pay $500 bucks a month NOW in the winter for heat, and almost that much in the summer because I'm constantly watering the million miles of grass I have. (Don't tell my mom.) But you see, there is one thing here. In Texas, my house would be nicer and cheaper (and WILL have a pool) and I could probably make the same amount of money working. So, to me, that is a big difference. I have at 1042 sq. ft house right now, with no fireplace, no pool, made like crap, and my mortgage is almost 2K a month. The housing market is WAY out of control. It is ridiculous. I had to move an hour away from EVERYTHING just to afford what I have.

I've been looking on the internet, and with the equity I would pull away + my stock payout when my job ends, I'd be looking at about a $600 dollar mortgage. BIG difference, no?

Here is a perfect example of a house I would LOVE. 

I've also been looking up the 'culture' in San Antonio and it seems really neat. Fun, friendly people, big festivals (Niosa), etc. In Seattle, if you smile at someone, they glare at you. Generally, people think I'm out of my mind when I strike up conversations with strangers here. You know, the funny thing is, everyone thinks I just came up with Texas out of the blue in the last few months, but the truth is, I've been thinking about it now for around three or four years - ever since I had a dream that I moved there. I just didn't tell anyone.

Anyway, I'm in limbo right now, and I'm making lots of personal changes, but the long and short of it is that no matter how much changing I do here, I'm still in a rut. I've lived here all of my life (except 6 years in California when I was born) and it is time to go. I need to leave some things/memories behind here and start a new life. I wish it would start sooner, but the timing of all things will work out just the way they are supposed to. So, until then, I'll just continue to "clean things up" here and improve myself the best I can until my real adventure starts. Yes, I know about Hurricane Ike. My heart and prayers go out to all affected.

Excited

I just checked my "Aveda Awards" points and didn't realize how many I had racked up! I just sent for my free spa day and hair service. I'm going to get a new "do" and color. I'm keeping it long and blonde (of course) but I need to be a little more up to date with style. As some of you know, I am reinventing myself and starting fresh with many parts of my life right now, so this is a great addition. I love anything Aveda, and since I buy shampoo, conditioner, tea, makeup and get all of my hair care, etc. done in their salon, I get LOTS of points pretty quickly.

I also decided to order some clothes anyway because they have a nice payment deferral program from the place I like to order. I hate to do that, but I'm on a roll here, and I've waited a lifetime to pamper myself. So, the hell with it.

Perfect Combo

Well, I managed to get myself up. The dogs were freaking out, it was funny, licking my face and whining. They are no help.

I made some cookies and am watching the Bridges of Madison County. Such a great movie, the acting is superb, and I always cry at the end. It is so bittersweet. I think the conversations they have are so human and real, and I love it when she comes downstairs in the dress. If you haven't seen it, or haven't seen it in a long time, go rent it or something. Trust me. Make cookies to go with it, it's the perfect combo.

I've fallen and I can't get up.

You are not going to believe this. I was taking a nap and the phone rang, the regular land line one. It startled me and as I reached over for it, I fell out of bed. I tweaked the hell out of my back and can't get up. Seriously. If the Crackberry hadn't of fallen off my nightstand on top of me, I wouldn't be blogging.

I am by myself right now, so this is fun. It is not bad enough to call 911 or make anyone drive all the way out here, I'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've hurt my back. It's just annoying. As soon as I can get up, I'll ice it and take some Aleve. That usually works. I feel really stupid.

Going through my grandparent's photos.

There are some funny, funny photos in here. Here are the descriptions of the photos shown:

Me circa 1991 getting ready to go to the horse races with my grandparents in California, posing my ass off.

Me and my grandpa dancing in the pool about 1985 or so. Good times.

Me in the 70's at my grandparent's house modeling a hat like a boss.

My mom took a photo of me eating a bag of Doritos in a bikini and cut the top of my head out of the picture. LOL.

2:54 AM

Do you ever get really, really bored in the middle of the night? Yeah, me either.

Sleeping beauty or insane insomniac? No question there. Then there is Alien McEyeball that refused to sleep in the bed.

I really need a new duvet. That ugly ass one is like 12 years old. The one I want is called "Damask Stripe in Cabernet". It's red. The color of your duvet is important. Is there a pill that makes you stop wanting stuff? I need that.

Blah.

I'm very blah today. A little down. A little sad. Sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. Life is hard to understand - but here we are.

The dogs are staring at me. It must be dinner time. Have no clue what to do for the weekend. Staring into space seems to be the agenda at the moment.

Spicy Mama

If you know me, you know I'm a spicy girl. I like it hot! These just crack me up.

And nothing goes better with spicy than a little Southern Comfort, LOL.

I'm not a booze hound, I swear! I inherited my grandpa's liquor collection. Which was extensive.

Being Silly at Mom's

Went and got a burger with Ma and now we are goofing around on her deck, well at least I am as you can see. She was making me laugh so we caught it on film. She won't let me post pics of her. Crazy woman.

Her and I get really silly when we hang out. She's always trying to get me to come live with her so we can be silly all the time. That is her dog Molly, who I named. I name the dogs.

My Story, Chapter 1, Part 4

Exhausted from sobbing, Sarah slowly got up and prepared for her shower. She tossed her camisole, bra and panties into the sink for washing, and turned the shower knobs on full blast and hot, until the room was steamy.

She let the hot water run over her face and down her body without moving, just standing with her head tilted up towards the shower nozzle. Her face was swollen, her muscles ached, and her arm bled. She just stood, still, for what seemed an eternity. Concerned the hot water may run out, she grabbed the paper-wrapped hotel soap and ripped it open. Oh, how she missed her fragrant, girly soap from home. She hoped maybe someone would get to use it. The hotel soap had a wooden, bland smell, and the shampoo was even worse. She was grateful just to be able to get cleaned up, though, and was enjoying the relaxation. She had no idea how long she had before her next job was presented. The hotel was her rest stop for the moment, and she was now in wait.

As she washed her face, she suddenly started to feel a little faint. Her mind raced and she knew what was happening. She held on to the sides of the shower and slowly lowered herself to the basin floor. She huddled in the corner with her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around herself, and burying her head so as to shield her face from the hot shower water raining down on her. She started to shake violently and was jolted back and forth, side to side, hitting the shower walls. She heard the familiar whispers, "Test the spirits, test the spirits!” She knew what to do and did it promptly. The jolting stopped, but she still shook. Sarah could no longer hear any sounds, not the shower water, not even her own heartbeat. Nothing. The kind of silence that if it were to continue, may drive a person mad. She could still feel the hot water beating against the top of her head and knees, though.

She waited. Sarah said a small prayer asking for strength, understanding and protection. Just as she finished her prayer, she could see colors everywhere, even though her eyes were tightly closed. Now she could not feel the water hitting her, yet she was warm. The colors moved and started to form a picture. She saw the hotel she was in, then it faded and formed a new picture. This picture was of a coffee shop with a pink “HELP” sign floating against the window. She didn’t understand what that meant. Help who? Help how? Where is the coffee shop? Please, I need more information! she thought to herself. The vision ended like a lightning strike, startling her. She felt the water return and all the sounds of the room. She lifted her head and hoisted herself up. As she reached to turn to the nozzles off, she noticed the cut on her arm was gone. Vanished as if it were never there.

Cooking Block

I'm having a cooking block. Nothing sounds good anymore. I'm reducing myself to mac and cheese tonight. Possibly a hot dog. Yes, I am 5 years old, where's the apple juice?

I'm thinking of following it up with some of my cognac, though. That will help with the writing. HA.

Did anyone catch "Fringe" last night? It was pretty good, done by the same guy who does "Lost", my favorite. The story I'm writing will have some supernatural element to it, so watching my shows is research, LOL.

BTW, what's up with the lack of comments? Not that I ever really got many, but I'm all lonely over here. Throw me a bone. I've been a blogging fool lately, but I think I'm talking to myself.

Nichole, you have been very good lately, that was not for you. I'm surprised you are not saying something about hurricane Ike hitting Texas soon. In all seriousness, though, I hope it takes a turn. The weather is just out of control anymore.

Going to go eat and do some writing. My new hobby to keep me busy.

Edit to the Story

I did a little editing of the last story entry (Chapter 1, Part 3), if you are following it. It sounded goofy. It still sounds goofy, but I'm enjoying doing it, nonetheless. It is strangely freeing. I have so many ideas, but it is not easy getting them organized. That's why I'm practicing on you. I didn't have a good day and it's a good escape.