Sorry, not sorry.

The only thing that was TOO BIG (I love it when I'm smaller than I realized) were the shorts that came with the blue hoodie. No biggie! To tell you the truth, the swim dress fits, but I could have actually bought a smaller size. I'm having a heart attack over that!

Anyway, if you had seen me setting up to take these pictures, you would have died laughing. I hope you appreciate the creativity here, people. LOL. I do realize that you were all on pins and needles waiting for me to update you on this. Oh, and for all my male readers, sorry not sorry. Can I post something for you guys? Something about cars? Lingerie?

Got my new eyeballs.

My new glasses came in today and I LOVE them! They aren't too different from my last ones except that they were more expensive and a little darker red, and Christian Dior instead of Lulu Guinness. I can see now! I just got off work and am running to grab a bite, then go tanning, then going to target to get some vacation supplies, then to Costco to get an additional memory card for my camera. These are all very important things. I will be in the poor house in approximately 2 weeks, but oh well, what the hell else is new?

They told me my package will arrive today or tomorrow, but I don't know if I believe them. The Post Office that it is sitting at is an hour away, or I would just go get it. (They would be closed by the time I got there.) Only me. This would only happen to me. You know it will arrive 30 seconds before I leave, right? If it is there when I get home, I will be shocked. But happy! I am really frothing at the bit (does anyone say that anymore?) because I don't know if everything will fit, and if I don't have a bathing suit, well, it could get interesting because I am GOING swimming. Period. I'm sure I'll be updating you about it sometime later tonight because blogging is addictive and obsessive. I don't know why some of you don't do it. It's fun, really! Even if no one is reading or listening, which is not so different from actual life. I'm way chattier online than in person. If you've ever watched "Dead Like Me" (the former Showtime series) the main character Georgia (George) is ME personified. Seriously. Deadpan humor, sarcastic, pessimistic, cynical, a smartass and generally not a happy person who likes to cuss occasionally. I look thrilled, don't I?

Earthquake in CA

Have you heard about the nice earthquake in Southern California? Just a few miles from where I will be traveling in a few days. Neat, huh? Chino Hills had a 5.4, which is not a huge quake, but in a populated area like LA, you'll rock and roll. Some friends I have there said it was long and pretty jolting, with tons of aftershocks. No reports of any major damage or casualties. My positive and optimistic outlook thinks it could be a precursory earthquake. I guess I'll find out. They closed down the rides at Disneyland for inspection. This is what really concerns me. I'm going there. and it BETTER be open! Stupid earthquakes.

Good Morning Internet

I need coffee. Stat. Did my 3 am thing again, but just laid there counting ceiling bumps. It was too cozy, and the dogs were snoring. Didn't want to wake the darlings up. Pfft.

I was packing in my head. You know how you lay there and think "OK, I need to remember to bring this and this and that, and OMG, don't forget THAT! Maybe it's just me. My cute new clothes are supposed to arrive sometime today (Yay!) so it will be like Christmas in the CrazyDogMama household tonight. I may take pics. I'm praying they all fit, you know how ordering online is risky. I may need to call my therapist after trying on the bathing suit. I have not purchased one in over 10 years. I could be horrified and pass out. Don't expect pics of me in it unless you want to send me a fifth of tequila first. LOL.

I'm taking my video camera even though it is a dinosaur. It's digital, but its big, not cute like the new ones. HEY! Something to add to my Amazon Wishlist! Maybe I'll post some video clips if I am properly persuaded. I love electronic toys! (Shut up, you know what I mean.)

A Walk

I took a nice walk outside today on a break and snapped this very familiar pose of myself. Perhaps someday you will see the other half of my head, or maybe an arm. Happy Monday. Bah.

Preparing for Vacation

I think a part of me is sad for this vacation because I will be staying at my grandma's house, and the reality of her death will probably set in when I arrive. There are so many memories there, and my poor grandfather is down the street in a Dementia home, which also saddens me. He doesn't remember who I am, and he was such a great grandpa, always playing with me and telling me stories. They were a huge part of my childhood. It also may be the last time I get to spend time at the house/pool because my mom has to sell it eventually. So, that is probably contributing to my funk. I'm trying to think positive; that they would both love the fact that I am enjoying it and want to be there, and that I will have fun. Laguna beach is close by, Disneyland is 20 minutes away, and my favorite Pizza Place "Biagio's" is awaiting my return.

I spent all day today grooming the dumb dogs. I am completely exhausted. That really takes it out of me. It took SIX hours, and the hair/mess clean-up is just as bad. I actually have a blister on my thumb from the grooming scissors. It is one more thing to cross off of my "to do list before vacation" though. I went to see the Pet Lodge where poor Magadog will have to stay, and I was really impressed with it. It is clean, and the people are super nice. It is a huge, beautiful facility (Paradise Pet Lodge) so I have great confidence they will take good care of her. I worry about these things; these dogs are my kids. At this point I don't know who is luckier, Maggie getting to stay at doggie Club Med, or Louie who gets to get dunked in the pool in Cali.

So, have I rambled on long enough about stuff you don't care about? I'm tired, but I still need to make dinner (at 8 pm) and clean my office. My office is a disaster. It is usually all tidy and organized, but since inheriting all my dad's cookbooks, and a bunch of pictures and whatnot, I just haven't found room for everything, and the office is the catch-all. I may be trying to do too much in one day, but I really need to get it done. There is some stuff I need to find to take on vacation and everything is just chaos. Well, I better get to it.

Just lock me up and throw away the key.

It is less than a week before I go on a nice vacation, and I'm in a funk. What the hell is wrong with me? I mean, WTF? I'm excited and all that, but all of a sudden, I'm all down. I hate it. I think I am completely and utterly hopeless. I don't even know why I'm blogging this.

What is it with 3 am?

3 am is apparently CrazyDogMama time. Maybe I don't have insomnia, maybe I'm just nocturnal. Like a bat. Almost every single night I wake up at 3 am. There is not a whole lot to do at 3 am. It is so quiet here out in the sticks. I usually just lay here in bed and grab the Crackberry or think, but sometimes I just have to get up. Some say 3 am is the "witching hour" or "dead time", the time when the dark world is supposed to be at its peak. All the weird stuff that has ever happened to ME, has happened in broad daylight, never at 3 am; although it is auspicious that I wake up at 3 am on the dot every night, don't you think?

I've tried counting sheep, but it makes me giggle because my sheep are retarded. Sometimes they try to jump together and run into each other in mid-air, sometimes they are wearing Superman capes and sometimes they trip and fly INTO the fence. I know, just when you thought my blog couldn't get any weirder. I really hate taking sleeping pills. Even when I'm depressed and want to escape the world, when I wake up it feels like someone hit me over the head with a baseball bat. No good.

Too bad some of you don't live closer with the same 3 am problem, we could hang out and do stuff! You know you want to.

He's going to give himself a concussion.

When Louie eats, he bashes his little doghead against the cabinets. I thought I would share.

I now have peeps.

Crackberry.com, it exists. Awesome!

Rough Night

I was all excited thinking about vacation and playing on the computer, but then I got a little sleepy and crawled into bed. It was a rough night from then on, and the morning has been a little sucky too. I'm sorry I can't really explain, but I am temporarily what I call "stalled". If that makes any sense. It is going to be a short day for me so perhaps I'll log on later. Thanks for understanding. Here is a good quote:

“The pain of your past is the preparation for your future. If you ever get that realization, if you ever can lay hold of that revelation, it will change you forever."

9 More Days

Until beach, sand, waves and sunshine! Are you jealous? I need this vacation in a bad way. A very bad way. I hope it goes well, you know my life.

A million billion things to do.

I am going nuts trying to get everything ready for vacation. I forgot how much prep there is when you are going to be gone more than a few days. Errands! Cleaning! Shopping! I will take pics of some of the cute new clothes I got as soon as they arrive. I got some online for a GREAT deal. I got a lavender tank top, a turquoise terrycloth lounger, a black swim dress, and I even got a beach bag! Here are the catalog pics, what do you think?

Driving to Work

Wet hair, classic CrazyDogMama look, thrilled, half asleep. Nothing new.

Phone call at 5 am.

When the phone rings that early, I jump 3 feet in the air. The first thought that enters my head is "OMG, who is dead or in the hospital?" I rubbed the goo out of my eyes so that I could read the caller ID and made out the name "Illinois". Illinois? Not Dave Smith or John Doe, but Illinois. I told Illinois to go to hell and to call back at a decent hour. Besides, I'm waiting for a call from Florida.

Inverted Nipple?

Nothing of interest has happened today. Nothing good, nothing bad. I worked. I had a burrito and a water at Taco Time for lunch for $1.99. I'm going over to my mom's tonight. I'm really tired. I'm not particularly cranky, but I'm not smiley either. Just nothingness. Boring. I may drink a glass of wine at my mom's, which could possibly stimulate a more exciting blog post later.

Juice: I was thinking. I have seen you naked before, and I do not remember any inverted nipple. Is this new, or did I miss it? I may need confirmation. No, I'm not a lesbian.

I'm copying Juice.

I am supposed to list 6 random things about myself. I don't have anything as exciting as Annie's inverted nipple, but I'll give it a shot.

1. I like to play with my dog's ears. When they lay in my lap, I'm constantly fiddling with their ears. It is fuzzy goodness.

2. I HAVE to sleep on my stomach. All sprawled out. I do not delicately lay on my side like a lady should, no, not me.

3. I like the movie Legally Blonde. (Shut it.) The reason I like it is because I love how she is nice to everyone, and everyone likes her or ends up liking her. I want to be like that.

4. I cannot name all the Presidents and I don't care. I could learn it quickly because I have a photographic memory, but I don't want to. History was my least favorite subject in school, but I am constantly reading current events.

5. I hate wearing turtlenecks, I feel like I am going to choke.

6. I get irritated beyond belief if someone turns off or changes a song before it completely finishes.

The countdown and other stuff.

TWELVE days, people, TWELVE days until I am on vacation! Pray a meteor doesn’t hit or something before I go, I feel like I’ve been crawling around in the desert and now I’m getting close to the oasis; dehydrated and moaning. Dang, I won’t know how to act on vacation.

Question for Juice (or anyone who might know): How do you post pics on Blogger with your Blackberry? If I take pics with my phone, I can access them, and it says, “uploading pic”, but it never actually does. FRUSTRATING. I may just have to wait to post pics until I get back. I don’t have that kind of patience. If anyone has the magic, let me know.

About this morning’s post: Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t recognize my own face. It is really strange. How I see myself without the mirror is different than the actual reflection. I like the me in my head better. I’ve changed a lot in the last 10 years, physically, mentally and emotionally. You could say it is natural maturation, but it’s more than that. It is more like a complete metamorphosis, or at least it feels like it. Everything I said I wouldn’t let happen, happened, even down to having a “desk job”. I remember telling myself I would never sit at a damn desk all day! HA. I also said I would never get fat, I would never get married young, blah, blah, blah. It goes to show you, you just CANNOT predict these things. But now that I’m here, now what? Anyway, I’m going all over the place with this post. I need to collect my thoughts and re-group.

Mirror Mirror

Do you ever look in the mirror and say, "What happened to you?". If you don't, consider yourself very, very lucky. I am thankful for my life, don't get me wrong, but nothing has really turned out the way I thought it would. There are good things in my life, and there are bad, but mostly I'm asking myself, how did I get here?

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

No more garage sales. I'm done. Made some good money, but I can't sit and swat flies anymore. People are just strange, some of the things they say while shopping in a garage sale crack me up. Louie complained about the altered feeding schedule. FYI, no more ghost activity as of yet.