The eyes are the window to the soul.

I bought some blue eyeliner. Try to hold back your enthusiasm. I have been using either reddish-brown or black for about 15 years now and I was at Macy's and thought, hey, blue! I've got blue eyes, what the hell. I've decided that I can't really tell the difference. Perhaps I just can't see that well anymore. Well, at any case, here are my eyeballs. Wrinkles, imperfections, and all. The 10-megapixel camera really picks up those details. Gah.

Have I gone soft?

Nah, I'm still feisty, passionate and playful, don't you worry. I was just embarrassed a little. Sometimes when I express myself, I think it makes some people uncomfortable. They don't quite know what to think. Oh well, too bad for them. I have to go marinate my chicken now - I'm putting together a big spread.

Maybe I should have left the poll up longer.

Sorry y'all.

My intention was not to be crude or unladylike or anything like that, and I certainly didn't want to "scare" anyone. I do that enough on a regular basis. LOL. (I thought my answers were nice and normal!) I just wanted to be fun and different. If you still want to play, please comment your "turn-ons" for me, anonymously if you prefer. Juice, you can repost your witty comment here, I would be honored.

You have to forgive me; I am going through a very hard time in my life. My therapy has become very intense and I'm just trying to embrace life a little. I haven't been able to do that in a long time.

My fans are clearly not ready for my polls.

Went and saw "The Strangers". I liked its intensity and fear-factor, but there were some holes in the plot, you know, the victims making dumb choices. Fun to go see, not too much gore, more "the killer is right behind you creeping around" kind of stuff. There were way too many teenagers in the audience, which of course irritates me to no end. They were surprisingly quiet during the movie (for the most part), I think because the movie has a lot of "intense silence".

Since it was based on true events, that made it more disturbing, otherwise it would have been so-so. None of you care, huh?

NOTE: During the previews, a teenager behind us was confused on why Sarah Jessica Parker of Sex and the City is so popular, because she has a "horse face". HAHA! Sorry girls, I couldn't even sit through one episode of that garbage, to me it should be called "Whores in the City".

The Death Shirt

Would anyone care if I stopped posting? I need a hug. Maybe I can get BOA and Big Pissy to come on over and discuss the LOST finale with me, and anyone else that watches it. (I know you are out there! All of you lurkers need to speak up!) They FINALLY answered some questions, I was thrilled. There are 200 unanswered ones, but still. The space-time continuum thing is still a little confusing, but we know who is in the coffin now. And what about Jin? We saw that flash-forward that didn't make any sense. Well, now we wait until January. ARG.

I also miss Jack Bauer. I'm so not happy that "24" is not on this year because of the stupid strike. Don't you all think we need a "David Palmer" for president? Egads, is it just me that fears for this country right now? I HATE talking politics on my blog because it just invites heated arguments and hate mail and all the things that make we want to hide, but I just can't stand ANY of the candidates. I'm sorry if you love one of them, but I just don't see good things. I guess I don't see good things in any politician these days. I did like Reagan. OK, enough of that.

I'm going to go see "The Strangers" tonight come hell or high water. I've been seeing so many movies lately. Before the last few weeks, it had been like a year since I went to the movies. Do any of you know anything about "Poultrygeist"? Yes, that's POULTY, not POLTER. OMG, Google it. You will die.

I am also wearing the "death shirt" today. I am not a superstitious person, but this is ridiculous. The last 3 times I wore this shirt, someone died. Including my dad and father inlaw. I was never going to wear it again, but it was the only thing clean. PLEASE DON'T DIE TODAY, OK?

I'm all over the place on this blog entry today, sorry. Too much coffee, I guess.

Iron Man

My company surprised us with "Iron Man" tickets today (the movie). Just got back. Not usually my type of thing, but I was impressed! It was pretty good. It was most definitely better than working. What did you all do today?

Life is too short.

I had a really good time last night with my friends. When I got home it was a little weird, but I'll save that for later.

You wouldn't think that coming to realizations that "life is too short" would be difficult, but some of us struggle with that. I have lots of life to live, and I intend on getting right on that! I must stop being so bunged up about things. No, Cheryl was not abducted by aliens, it's really me, hi!

I'm not sure yet, but I just got wind that my company may be doing something fun this afternoon. I'm liking the sound of that.

More fun nights out, please!

We dished. I had wine. Probably too much. I could be drunk blogging. I went back to work briefly to sober up for a few minutes since it's an hour drive home. (Hence the blogging.) I will probably regret posting these pics tomorrow, but this is my recommendation to you of what to do when you are sobering up at 9:30 pm at your cubical in a building by yourself. I am feeling pretty darn good right now, and not just because of the wine. It was really great to talk to my girly friends. I think I might be getting somewhere with my inner turmoil, all I needed was time to assess, time in therapy, time with friends and a little alcohol. It's not all that simple really, it takes (and will take) time to make big changes, and even some small ones, but sometimes this little light goes on above your head. Then you feel free and hopeful again and people suddenly look at you and say, "Good for you!"

Better Late than Never!

OK, so it's been a little more than an hour, I got busy at work. Now I'm trying to scarf down lunch of curry chicken soup and popcorn. Is that weird? Don't answer that.

The positive part of the post is this: I get to have drinks/apps with some girly friends tonight, and just got word that we can go a little earlier and make happy hour! I don't get out often, so I get excited about the little things. I hear wine and antipasto calling my name.

Last night, I got to spend the evening by myself, picked myself up a personal pizza and curled up with my buddy the internet and watched a little TV. I think there was something wrong with the pizza, though, because it came back up. I won't be eating pizza for a while. TMI? Sorry. You're the dummy that reads this blog. That's all I've got. For now.

A Little Melancholy

You should be used to this by now. I'm feeling like my life is in "limbo". Have you ever felt that way? Waiting, like a spring ready to be sprung. Not going backward, but not going forward either. Fear of the unknown? Waiting for the planets to be aligned correctly? I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing, or what to do next sometimes. It's like nothing is changing on the outside, but there are big ones happening on the inside. I'm missing my dad today, too. I wish I could talk to him, get his advice on some things. Go out to our favorite Thai food joint that my mom refused to go to, and just talk about everything. He was always so worried about me, yet proud of me at the same time. He would tell me to pull my head out of my ass. (LOL!), but in a loving way, though. This time last year we were fishing, and it was so sweet. He had shown me over a million times how to put my fishing pole together (rigging) based on the terrain of the water, but I just could never get it right. So, he would do it for me. Then I would catch all the fish and he would spend the day getting them off the hook for me instead of watching his own pole. I miss him so much.

This is how my day is going.

I can't help but laugh at these things. First, one of my co-workers is REALLY mad at me. I just gave him back a gigantic package of complicated engineering drawings because I found errors. He asked me if we could "let it slide this once?". I said no. (Hey! It's my job!) I didn't get promoted because I "let things slide". Several engineers around his cubical were rolling in laughter because they know it will take him forever to fix it.

Second, my skirt is really long, and when I roll around in my chair from one side of my cubical to the next, the skirt gets caught in the wheels and yanks it off my hips. OOPS. I'm paranoid it's going to rip and then what will I do? I have it hiked up around my thighs right now and I'm hoping to God no one comes up behind me without my knowledge. I'm just a complete mess, aren't I?

It's a blog-a-thon today. I'm feeling chatty.

This brings me back.

Our company gave out iPods a few years ago to all the employees, so everyone has iTunes on their computer and we "share" our music. I was looking through someone's selection and found "Angel" by Aerosmith. LOL! I remember being a teenager wanting a guy to feel that way about me so bad. Isn't that funny? Rockers trying to do love songs cracks me up, but still. Silly, huh? Ah, youth.

Mysterious Peasant Girl

Back at the cubical for a fun-filled day of engineering drawings, a therapy session and traffic. Good times. I'm wearing my relatively new "peasant skirt" today and people always remark on it. They say things like, "Pretty colors!" or "Look at you!". It's nice, of course, but it's funny to me. I'm usually wearing black pants, so it is noticeable when I change it up, I guess. I was going to take a pic of my lovely bruise, but it's a little too "revealing", so I decided against it. I took a pic of my skirt instead. I feel like Holly Hobbie or Laura Ingalls or something. Hehe. One other thing. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but my bra is DRIVING ME CRAZY. It's itchy and I want to just yank it off! I hate it when they are pokey. I probably shouldn't go braless at work though.

Scary after 9 pm.

At least it will be a short week having Monday off. Other than doing some stretching this morning, I have been a complete sloth today. I'm hungry, but everything that sounds good, we don't have. I don't want to go out because it is scary in this town after 9 at night, especially if you bathe and have all of your teeth. (I live in a very small mountain town and there are some scary locals.) I watched "Black Snake Moan" again (I like that movie) and spent a good chunk of the afternoon trying to fix my computer. OMG how frustrating that can be! But what do you know? I ACTUALLY fixed it! I am in utter shock. I actually figured it out! I was panicking because my computer is my life blood. If I can't check my email, blog, surf the internet and fiddle with my photos, I will lose my mind. I am so proud of myself.

I'm not feeling tired at all. I feel a "Sleepless in Seattle" night coming on.

Fakin' the Funk to Facilitate the Fraud

Caveman wants to know what this means, and he is the ONLY one who gave me a suggestion on what to write, so kudos to you KS! The rest of you are buttmunches.

I have to warn you, this is really deep. LOL. I didn't come up with it. Jim said it one day and I just looked at him and said, "What?". It sounded funny to me. Stringing all the "F's" together like that. He had a friend in the Army that was African American, and he said, "Fakin' the Funk" all the time as to mean "Trying to be cool while actually being cheesy or dorky." (That fits me, huh?) Jim later added "to Facilitate the Fraud" to mean "to cover up all the bullshit".

I have always thought that in keeping a blog, you could just be anyone you wanted to be and talk about life in exactly what manner you wanted. You know, make yourself sound so great! I thought that it would be the perfect title phrase because most blogs are full of fluff and stupid crap. (It also makes people scrunch up their face and say, "What?", which is funny.) Now, while my blog is definitely full of stupid crap, unfortunately for me, I have been known to spill my guts and am honest like an idiot. No, I don't reveal my entire life, because there are other people's feelings to consider, but I have a hard time being fake or phony. On the internet it is hard to know who a 'real' person is. But from me, what you see (or hear) is pretty much what you get.

So, no, I'm far from a gangster. (LOL, I can't believe you actually said that!) I'm just a dorky white girl who can't even be fake enough to be someone great on a blog.

It's funny to me that you think I'm mysterious. Is that the only mystery for you, or is there something else that puzzles you? I guess I should take it as a compliment, don't girls want to be mysterious? I don't even know. I think YOU are the mysterious one, KS.

Thanks for all the suggestions!

Yes, it's sarcasm.

OK, maybe I'm being a little sensitive. I am a tormented soul, though, so you have to tread lightly with me. I did nothing today. Just moped around like usual. I found another movie I am excited about. Good movies are hard to come by. Juice will especially like it. "The Strangers". Who wants to go see it with me? I'll share my popcorn with you. It's always more intense when you know it's based on a true story. Maybe I could get one of my old cop friends to find out the grisly details and find how "loosely" it is based. With Hollywood you never know. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was based on true events in Wisconsin with no chainsaw. (Ed Gein) See, this is what happens when you don't give me any ideas about what to write about.

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!

(Yes, I am Gomer Pyle.) I actually slept. I don't believe it. I thought for sure I'd be up pacing. More interesting dreams, but I'm sure you are sick of hearing about my dreams. I don't know what to write. I'm going to think about it and come back, OK? Any ideas? Anything you want me to write about? Let me know.

Movies and other stuff.

Went to see Indiana Jones today, it was great fun! None will ever top the first one, but it was fun. They paid homage to the first movie quite a few times, which was awesome, and I love that Marion was in it. Even as old as he is, Harrison still has it. There were some serious over-the-top moments, but all-in-all I liked it. I ate way too much popcorn, though. I didn't used to like popcorn, but since they came out with all of those popcorn seasonings, I'm totally into it. While at the theater, I saw a poster for a new M. Night Shyamalan movie called "The Happening". Looks interesting.

That will probably be all the fun I will have for the rest of the weekend. I'm broke, bloated, bruised and wiped out. Woke up at 6 am this morning. It's SATURDAY. I got up and made eggs benedict because I couldn't get back to sleep. So now its nap time. This means I won't sleep tonight and most likely rant to you about it on the blog here.

Really stupid pictures of me.

It's Friday night and this is how lame I am, I am organizing all the pictures I have on my computer. I have pictures everywhere all over the place and it's driving me nuts. I came across some that just made laugh. I thought you all might get a good chuckle, too.

#1 Me getting out of my work uniform in the employee bathroom after waiting tables at Morgan's. My friend Patty thought it would be funny to hang this picture on the bulletin board in the office. It was super. Look at the dorky look on my face! At least I was tan.

#2 I was trying to get a picture of my hair highlights. This is me back in 2004 at my old job. Is it just me, or do I look freaky?

#3 Me trying on hats at a street fair. I thought the purple velvet one with the white flower looked good. Yeah.

#4 OK, first, what the hell was I thinking with the SOCKS? Let's not talk about my ass here. Just leave that alone. I was camping with a bunch of friends and Edwin is the one carrying me. And NO, he was NOT my boyfriend. Never was. Just a friend.

#5 Finally, this is me at the police academy at the shooting range. I got yelled at here for my bad form. I was really determined to be a badass, but I still run from spiders. I also got shot in the leg that day. Well, I caught a ricochet bullet. It was neat. Makes you have great faith in our law enforcement personnel and justice training centers, no? We will not discuss the spandex shorts over black tights. We will NOT.

I have lost my brain, anyone seen it?

Yesterday I suddenly got dumped on at work after a slow start to the week, and of course Thursday and Friday are the busy days this week so I can't take off early for the holiday weekend. Story of my life. I'm running around headless, not only at work, but at lunch. I hate running errands at lunch, but the highway I live off of backs up for 50 miles from people going over the pass for Memorial Day, so I need to jam straight home, or I won't get there until midnight. I don't know when I'm going to get to see Indiana Jones, perhaps a matinee tomorrow? I need to watch Louie right now and don't want to leave him for too long. He is doing better and has his appetite back.

I just finished bashing my ass. I'm serious. I took a corner too quick and clipped a desk with my hip/butt. I'm sure it will be a huge black and purple bruise and don't be surprised if I post a picture of it, because, you know, that's what I do. For your entertainment. You're welcome. Speaking of my butt, it is really getting smaller. I have had to pull my slacks up to my bra today to keep them on. Yes, I know, very sexy. Lean meat, veggies, fruit smoothies with protein powder and tons of water, plus pumping iron and boxing. Can't have loose skin! No way, no how!