Instant gratificaton!

Starbucks has a new 'instant' coffee that is actually GOOD! I love it! I have never liked instant coffee, but I'm on board with this one. I like the medium the best. It wires the shit outta me, though, more so than espresso. Weeeee!

One more day until my trip! And do you know what sucks? It is in the 90's here and the 60's and 70's in Cali. Figures.

My desk holds my BITE ME cup and all the work I have to get done tomorrow. Sigh.

I need to get back to writing.

I miss it. I used to blab on and on in this blog about everything. Why have I stopped? Well, my new job is taking up most of my time, but honestly, I have been very hesitant to write about my feelings of late. Much has happened over the years, especially the last year, and I pretty much imploded into myself. I have become elusive and isolated. I work. I sleep. I eat. I do not talk to many people other than family and co-workers. I have a few people I talk to online/texting, but it has all come down to a very dull roar. I used to get so many emails I didn't know how to handle them all, and now you can hear the crickets. I miss it. Kinda. It can be a little nuts, but it was fun and social. I don't have time to be depressed anymore with working 12 hours/day and sometimes on the weekends, but I feel a little empty. I am talking to God about that.

I am driving to California with my mom next Saturday and staying a week. It will give me some much needed relax time, and maybe some time to write and sort out my insides. My life is flying by too quickly and I need to stop and smell the roses for a bit.

Never Trust a Skinny Cook

I saw a sign this morning that said "Never trust a skinny cook." So you can trust my cooking. HA!

I feel bloated as hell this morning and I'm exhausted. I was working on my laptop until 1 am in the hopes of meeting my deadline. I think I'm going to make it. Hooray. Where's the coffee, meh.

Laptop Day

I've been working all day on my laptop. ALL. DAY. I love my laptop, don't get me wrong, but it has become an appendage, and I don't know if that is healthy. I work hard. I hope it pays off some day.

Driving in Seattle

A most beautiful day in Seattle, it's going to be in the 80's today! Woot! Anybody wanna ride the duck?

Cell phone pics and short nonsensical paragraphs.

I have not been writing lately. It has all been about cell phone pics and short nonsensical paragraphs. (If you're lucky.) I lost my inspiration, I guess. The cruel world of doldrums, workaholism and disappointment has stomped out all creativity. Perhaps summer will reveal some color and revival. One can only hope. I need a muse.

Kabob Prep

Kabob prep is a pain in the ass. But I love me some kabobs! Apparently, I need a bigger countertop. :-/

Is the Blog Era Ending?

So, I went to all my blog favs today hoping to catch up with my peeps since I haven't been able to in a while because of work, and so many of you are gone! What happened? I had to delete 6 broken links! Did you all delete your blogs? I'm sad. If you have just moved let me know!

Then, I realized I hadn't "upgraded" my blog template in eons because I'm too afraid I'll lose all my archives and settings. I need some html help. I want a new look, but I want to save my archives. I won't be able to remember my life if they get deleted. Seriously, I have quite a history here, but I'm sick of the design.

I worked almost 60 hours in 5 days last week, so I spent ALL of yesterday sleeping. Today, I'm going to BBQ some kabobs and my mom is coming up. It is sunny and nice, so we are going to enjoy the sun. If I can get off of the internet.

Too Many Hours

I got off work at 8pm last night and tonight. I started at 8am. I have an hour+ commute. I'm tired. I don't feel like cleaning, cooking, talking, eating, thinking, or even peeing. Nothing. This is becoming a habit and I don't like it. I need to find some balance.

Going to Cali on June 6th for a week.

Lazy Sunday with Dogs

Enjoying the nice 83-degree day on my patio. Pups are panting and I'm keeping cool with a margarita. I should be working but screw it.

Had eggs benedict for breakfast and am either going to grill some buffalo burgers or make pork tenderloin in a marsala wine sauce with shitake mushrooms and shallots. MMMM.

I Gots GPS!

Look who got a Garmin GPS! A new toy for me to play with! My ma decided I needed one and got it for me yesterday. The female voice? I call her Gladys. Remember, I name everything. My SUV's name is Ezmerelda.

LOL

Just so you know.

What happens at fondue, stays at fondue.

Music

Kickin' back listening to music tonight. Here's the lineup:

Sweet Jane (Cowboy Junkies)

Joey (Concrete Blonde)

I still haven't found what I'm looking for (U2)

Wanted Dead or Alive (Bon Jovi)

Sister Golden hair (America)

Chillin'. It's been a long week.

Yogurt hell and other fun things.

So, everyone keeps telling me to eat yogurt because it's good for me. It helps with digestion, weight loss, immune boosting, osteoporosis, blah, blah, blah. So, I'm eating it. Or should I say I'm choking it down. I'm not a big yogurt fan, much like I don't drink diet soda. I've found that the smoothie/drinkable ones are tolerable, so I'm going with those. We'll see just how damn healthy I get.

I am also drinking "authentic" Wu-Yi Source tea. (Not to be confused with fake Wu-Yi tea.) That's right. I am. I got some for free! With my luck, I'll get addicted to it and then have to spend my life savings buying the stuff. It is expensive as all get out!

I'm having a "get-pretty" day on Friday with my mom. I'm looking forward to it. I'm not feeling pretty. Or wanted. Or sexy. I'm pretty much feeling old, broken down, fat, pasty-white and mousy. NOT GOOD. I'm going to get some new clothes too, that always helps. I hate it when clothes start to fade and lose their color. Then, I'll be ready for my Cali trip in June!

My morning.

It was pouring rain. I had to get gas on the way to work, and the first gas station I stopped at had no working pumps due to a power surge from the storm. Upon discovering this and getting back into my car, the edge of the gas station over-hang dumped a waterfall of water on top of my head. Only me. This would ONLY happen to me.

The commute was NUTS. It took me 3 hours to get to work, and I had to pee so damn bad by the time I got there that my eyeballs were floating. Because I have to walk quite a few blocks from the parking garage to the building where I work, I wasn't going to make it so I stopped at the only open place I could find which was a Subway sandwich shop. I tried to run into their bathroom, but it was locked. LOCKED. I had to go to the counter, and they said I had to BUY something to get the key. OMFG! I bought a 54-cent motherfucking cookie so I could go pee. I almost threw my cookie at the clerk. Then my umbrella broke.

And you all wonder why I'm so grumpy all the time.

Always in a funk.

I'm in a funk today. Sometimes I don't get over things easily. I carry my heart on my sleeve, and it always gets bruised and battered. I need to just get rid of the stupid thing altogether and become a cold, mean, bitch, right? Can't touch this! Yeah, right. I don't know what I expect. Some of my friends have stopped blogging, some have changed their email, some have just left the building. Life can be cold and distant.

Work is super busy. It has taken over my life. Just what I wanted, to be a workaholic. They pay me well, and I can't complain because so many I know are unemployed. I should just shut the fuck up, I guess.

I may be taking a short trip to Cali in June. If I can get off work.

What's in YOUR Costco cart?

Mine is odd today. It's actually always odd, if I'm truthful. Costco is my favorite place to shop of late.  Today's purchases consist of makeup, lamb chops, stamps, the best chocolate cake EVER, a bag of salad (I needed at least ONE healthy thing), parmesan and fajita meat. Kirkland Signature beauty products are seriously da bomb! I would never have thought I would be impressed by Costco makeup, but I was wrong, it's good stuff. I know you must be thrilled beyond belief to know this. Try to hold your enthusiasm back, OK?

I wish I could go to Hawaii.

I don't have swine flu, but my tooth hurts. Damn filling. I think I cracked it or something. Ouch.

My office mate just got back from Hawaii, and I forgave her because she brought me back coconut lotion and soap and filled our office with these crazy cool flowers!

Fred Meyer Haul & Italian Dinner

Went shopping and out to dinner with my mama today. Got some cute Sketchers, some earrings, a pair of pants and some socks. Then, we had a pizza and Spaghetti feed. NOM. NOM. NOM. I was down in the dumps today and she came over and made me get out of bed. I'm so glad she did!

I've Lost it.

I have Direct TV. This is the screensaver. The little box bounces off the "walls" of the TV like Pong (for those of you who know what Pong is) and if you watch it long enough, the box corner will hit PERFECTLY with the corner of the TV. It takes awhile though, and if you get distracted, you could miss it.

Fuck dude, I've lost it.

Random pics from my life.

A beautiful day in Seattle that I saw for 5 minutes before work, alien eyeball Lou, and cake with ice cream. Because I wanted it.

I am a stupid, stupid woman.

My old, worn-out ass thought it would be a good idea to manually wash, scrub, vacuum and detail my SUV today. My body will never forgive me. Everything hurts. It's a good thing I'm having steak for dinner that I'm not cooking. I have a big strong man doing that for me. YEAH BABY. I should of had him do my SUV instead. HA.

Yes, I have been MIA lately.

My life has changed a bit and I am running to catch up. Unfortunately, nothing happening is really all that blog-worthy, it has mostly been work-work-work! I'm sure things will chill out, but damn I'm tired. I promise I'll post something colorful later, K?

We did it!

The champagne toast my company did yesterday to celebrate our success.

Boo.

I took a little blogging break. There hasn't been much to say, I've been incredibly busy and I just plain was sick of it. I have also been stirring up trouble elsewhere and there is only so much sarcasm and smartassedness I can do in one day.

Anyway, I do actually have news today. The company I work for got some GREAT news about the product it is attempting to commercialize for cancer patients, and that means I not only get to keep my job, but it is awesome news for the patients themselves. The product is for men with prostate cancer, and it replaces chemotherapy and extends the life of the patient. One great leap for bioscience! I'm proud and honored to be a part of it. The only downside is I can kiss my personal life goodbye, not that I had much of one to begin with. Going commercial and tripling in size is going to be chaotic. I had to be at work yesterday at 5:30 am before the press release came out, and I only had an hour or so of sleep, so I'm dead today.

Went out to Maggiano's for dinner with some friends last night and pigged out on yummy Italian food. Eating the leftovers for lunch today.

That's it.

Office Mate

Well, I was all alone in my windowless office (a converted closet), but as of today I now have an office buddy. One of my co-workers (who CRACKS me up) moved in today. We will have some fun for sure. A lot of people share offices here because of limited space, so I'm glad I got someone I get along with really well. We have an entire filing cabinet dedicated to snacks. Other people are jealous and want to move in with us.

Going out with Ma tonight and I have to go Costco to get a ham. I've worked so many hours already this week that I think I will leave now. I'm done. 12-hour workdays suck. I like the money though.

Marketing Genius

This is quite possibly the best marketing I have seen EVER.

I was walking in downtown Seattle when I saw this and I suddenly wanted a cheeseburger even though I had just eaten! Genius!

Wisdom?

"The enemy of your enemy is your friend."

It's not an ideal in the world, but it sure is TRUE. I definitely found a friend in someone I didn't know, that happened to be an enemy of someone I didn't realize was my enemy. I was rooked. Deceived. Taken for a ride. But this friend helped me navigate that dark time and I'm forever grateful. Thanks, Dete, you went above and beyond.

I don't know which is worse.

First, I'm getting a filling today and I'm so not excited about it. Half of my face will be numb for the evening which makes eating interesting. I always manage to bite my cheek 400 times. Second, my dreams have all been about aliens lately. Like the ugly mean ones from the "Aliens" series. Just call me Ripley. I have NO idea why; I haven't watched those movies in eons. One of my dreams scared the shit out of me (which never happens) and in the other ones I was just an Alien killing fool. I don't know. Lastly, I watched "Marley and Me" and balled my freaking eyeballs out. I don't know which is worse.

VIP Parking

Starting off a Monday with sunglasses, an iced mocha and I get to park in my boss' parking space right underneath the building because she is on vacation this week! Weeeeee!

What is that light in the sky?

The sun is finally out, thank the Lord God in Heaven.

Monkey Wrench

However, there is one thing I really really need (and want) that I don't have. It puts a monkey wrench in my whole program. It is not something I have control over so it drives me crazy. Such is life I guess.

Whatever.

"The best way to get what you want, is to want what you have."

Northern Arizona?

Well, it looks like Northern Arizona is where I might be moving to in a year or so. I'll go into the details of why later when it starts to become a reality. But I'll tell you, the weather here never used to bother me, but in the last year or two it is really starting to grate. I'm tired of dark and gloomy and cold and rainy/snowy all the damn time with only a few months of sun. My mood sucks, you can't go do anything, it is just downright depressing anymore. Not to mention the joint aches. Getting old sucks. The culture here is starting to irritate me too. The taxes I pay go to nothing I believe in or care about and the traffic, OMG, kill me now.

The dentist sucks.

I used to actually enjoy getting my teeth cleaned, it almost put me to sleep, but now, I have a new hygienist and she scrapes HARD and almost sends me through the roof. My gums are throbbing this morning from my appointment yesterday, and I have healthy teeth and gums! However, for the first time in like, 10 years, I have to get a stupid filling. CRAP. Turn up the laughing gas!

The movie was decent.

I liked it. (The Haunting in Connecticut) The fact that it was based on a true story made it intriguing to me, and a little creepier. That is all I can think of to say. Seriously. I need some blogging motivation.

The Haunting in Connecticut

This is my scary face. I'm on my way to go see "The Haunting in Connecticut" with hubs.

Snow

Woke up to snow this morning. I'm curled up having my morning coffee thinking about stuff. I have to groom poor little Magadog today, she is in bad shape. I slept all say yesterday, I've been so damn tired. That virus really kicked my ass, and I still don't know what to think about my new job. Is my blogging exciting or what? Gah.

Seek into the unknown and you might find it.

A friend of mine sent me an email yesterday, and in trying to comfort me, said something I thought was very profound.

"Seek into the unknown and you might find it. Don't seek and life will remain the same."

I really thought about this and found it to be some of the best advice I've heard in a long time. Sometimes I can't figure out why I'm not happy, why I'm so depressed. I'm searching for something, and don't even know what I'm searching for half the time, but yet I need to not give up my search. Just keep going. Life is a journey of unknowns, and you may or may not find what you are looking for, but you will be forever changed (and your life) in the process. Basically, don't give up. Push through. Don't try and get AROUND the depression or the hardship, go THROUGH it. It WILL CHANGE you, and life will change too. Nothing stays the same if you stay in motion.

What do you think?

Things I just don't understand.

1. Why do people fear their boss? I want to do a good job as much as the next guy, but I'm not one to kiss ass or fear what my boss may or may not do to me. Fuck that.

2. When did it become cool to "hate" smokers? Do all also promote that whole "tolerance" thing too? Because that seems about right.

3. Why are some people offended by off-beat humor? I can't live in that world.

4. Things/people that many find attractive that I don't: Anybody from the movie "Twilight". Bleck. Super skinny women. I believe in curves.

5. Not being able to admit when you are wrong or apologize. Really? Believe it or not, there are lots of you out there. It baffles the shit out of me. I'm wrong about something, like, every 10 minutes.

Bolt!

Have you guys seen this Disney Pixar movie? OMG. So dang cute. I'm not usually into cutesy kid's movies, but I had to watch this one because it had a dog in it. Best line from Rhino the hamster in the plastic playball: "I'm lightning quick, I have razor-sharp reflexes. Wha! And I'm a master of stealth." He also says stuff like "super awesome", which of course makes me giggle.

I still love "Over the Hedge" the best, though. Super awesome flick. :-)

Work Faces

Shit-Fit of a Lifetime

I had the shit-fit of a lifetime when I saw the Crackberry heading straight for the toilet in slow motion. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

They just don't recover from water. I managed to get a new one without paying $450 bucks, so I'm ok now, but I pretty much wanted to die. I cannot be without a Crackberry. I just CAN'T. I think I would have sold a kidney to get another one. Seriously. I don't have many pleasures in life, but the Crackberry keeps me going. LOL.

Hey, I've lost some of my fans. Come back! I miss you! Why did you go? Has my blog started to suck? Did it always suck? Did I piss you off? Did I scare you? What will it take for you to come back? I'm crying. Where art thou?

Not Good

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I just dropped the Crackberry in the toilet. FUCK!

Issues and Alien Raiders

Virus from hell, then period from hell. I'm so damn pissy. Of course, when am I happy? Pffft. There is something bugging me, too. But can I talk about it. No. Why would I be able to do that?

I am going to watch "Alien Raiders" now with Carlos Bernard. YUMMY! (Tony from 24 for those of you living under a rock.) It just came out. I hope it is decent, the previews looked good. Then I'm going to watch "Bolt", the cute Pixar dog movie.

Chicken noodle soup cures all.

At least that's what I'm told. We'll see. ;-)

I was doing better, then last night sucked. I coughed ALL night resulting in no sleep and a raw throat. I'm at work now guzzling soup and tea. I'm having other issues, but I think you have heard enough for now.

Plans for the weekend include sleep, movies, sleep, cough syrup. My boss said I looked stoned yesterday. LOL. Such a great thing to hear from your new boss. Things are going ok, I just don't want to work anymore, and I get cranky about it sometimes. Well, I should say that I want to work on MY terms, not retire completely. My terms this week would have been sleep.

Somebody kill me.

Okay, I worked 4 hours before I pooped out today. Progress. I really hope I'm not getting a pneumonia. Walking takes an extreme amount of effort, and then I have to sit down a lot as if I just ran a marathon. It's super fun.

There is absolutely nothing of interest to blog about.

Serious Cough Syrup

This bronchitis thing has been AWFUL! I haven't been this sick since I was a kid. I also did something really, REALLY stupid today. I OD'd on cough syrup. I am not joking. The doctor prescribed this new, really potent cough suppressant that I think must be a hard-core narcotic. The pharmacist was adamant about not taking more than one teaspoon every 10 hours, but I just figured it was like every other time they say that which means nothing. I could drink a whole bottle of codeine cough syrup and just get a little sleepy. Not this time. I almost had to go to emergency. I took 2 teaspoons on an empty stomach, and I started hallucinating, was dripping wet with sweat, shaking uncontrollably, and I couldn't think or talk right. I was SCARED. I was also nauseated and couldn't walk. NOT a fun high. I will never do that again! Damn!

I am not a good sick person.

I'm dying. My head is pounding, my fever is rising and my cough is rattling the windows. My eyes are glazed over, and my ears are ringing. Bleh. Yeah, I'm thinking I need to reschedule Juice, so sorry. Next week, ok? Don't even know if I'll be able to go to work tomorrow, which is stressing me out. 

Bronchitis

I had a great time at Semiahmoo except for the part where I got BRONCHITIS. I KNOW. The first weekend away I get in eons, and I get sick. It started Saturday night, and by Sunday morning I was bed-ridden in the hotel room. DOG sick. Not only that, but I'm so dizzy today and my cough hurts so bad, that I had to call in sick at my job. I haven't even been there 3 weeks yet. How embarrassing. Ug. I'm going back to bed. I'm coughing up lung cheese presently. YUCK.

Semiahmoo

Going to Semiahmoo resort today and tomorrow with a girly friend of mine. It's near Canada right on Birch Bay. Beautiful!

Crisis Averted

There is nothing worse than almost running out of gas on the Evergreen Point Bridge, except actually running out of gas. I think there is a fine for it now, and I was stressing HARD. It will literally STOP traffic for hours and hours because there is nowhere to pull over, and there will be approximately 10,000 people wanting to KILL you. But I made it by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin. HOWEVER, I got turned around after filling up and went back the wrong direction over the bridge again, then had to turn around and go back over it a THIRD time because I am a dolt.

It is also fun dealing with IBS on an hour and a half commute. UG.

TMI? Get over it. :)

Excuses

So yesterday I worked from 8 am to 1:30 am, then back to work at 8. This is why the blog is suffering. They are trying to kill me.

I enjoyed this article. You may or may not.

The Omega Letter Intelligence DigestVol: 13 Issue: 9 - Monday, March 09, 2009

OK, NOW the Sky is Falling.

In September of last year when Lehman Brothers filed for what was then the biggest bankruptcy in the United States, the Dow dropped a whopping 504 points.

On that same day in September, Senator John McCain lost the 2008 Election with these words: "The fundamentals of our economy are strong."

Ironically, McCain was right. The 'fundamentals' of our economy didn't change, a better word description might be to say the fundamentals of the economy were exposed.

America discovered that it had been mugged. And like an angry mugging victim thirsty for revenge, it lashed out as much at the cop on the beat for not preventing it as it did the muggers. The muggers became linked in the public mind with the Republicans, something the Dems had been cultivating since the Pelosi/Reid takeover of Congress in 2006.

One can argue all day about how the Republicans are responsible and how Obama inherited a bad economy, but the facts are neither Republican or Democrat.

When Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid announced in 2006 that they were going to fix the "Bush economy" the "Bush economy" had enjoyed more than 55 months of steady growth.

When the new Congress was seated, the Dow was celebrating the recovery of all its losses since 9/11, closing above 11,000 for the first time since. This isn't partisan stuff, this is history.

In January, 2006, George Bush was a lame-duck president presiding over a Congress dominated by the other party. It was after Pelosi/Reid seized the majority and started fixing the Bush economy that it began to roll over, not before.

It doesn't matter what political party one belongs to, the history is still the same.

If there was a first domino that set all the rest of them in motion, it was pushed over after control of the Congress was handed to Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.

Assessment:

The Democrats began running for president long before they had a candidate, and they said from the beginning that their strategy was to focus on the 'Bush' economy -- which, as noted, was up to that time in pretty good shape.

Here's the thing to understand about the US economy. It isn't a 'thing'. It isn't a person. It is you and me. It rises or falls depending on how much confidence we have in it.

If I don't think my money is going to be safe if I leave it in the stock market, then logically, I am going to take it out and put it somewhere less risky.

So if somebody I admire and trust (like my Congressional leaders) tell me that the market is about to tank, and someone I've grown to despise and distrust (Evil Bush) says the market is safe, I have two reasons to pull my money out.

The first is to protect my investment. The second is to poke my thumb into the eye of somebody I hate (Evil Bush).

Multiply me times all the Evil Bush-haters that both feared for their wealth and enjoyed making Bush look bad who pulled out of the market and you have the beginnings of a recession.

After awhile, even those less enamored of Pelosi/Reid and less distrustful of Evil Bush are going to worry about their 401ks and rethink their exposure on the stock market. Which makes the numbers shakier and a recession more likely.

Keep shaking confidence by attacking the 'Bush recession' during the election campaign and the market will keep going down. Now here is where politics plays a role.

The Left campaigns mainly on handouts to the poor and taxes on the 'rich'. Let's define 'rich' and 'poor' as is applied in political theory.

'Rich' means white, middle-aged working professional couples, with no kids still at home.

(To the taxman, grandparents backed by a lifetime of investments and purchases are 'rich', even if they earn no more than a working couple just starting out.)

By our mid-50's we're as professional as we're gonna get, and we're making about as much as we can ever hope to, which we are trying our best to make stretch into our retirement.

'Poor' means single-parent families on food stamps, young parents still learning their skills earning entry-level salaries, and two-parent unskilled working couples with children.

There are more poor people who want handouts than there are 'rich' who want to fund them, the more the Left can demonize the 'rich' the more votes they can get from the poor.

That is not partisan politics. It is accepted political theory as was applied in recent political history.

When the 'rich' realized that the next likely president was going to be an ardent socialist, the 'rich' started yanking their retirement funds out of the stock market and steering them into what they hoped were safer investment vehicles.

All through the presidential campaign season, the market unravelled as nervous investors pulled out enough money to expose the crooks in the system. In August, Barack Hussein Obama secured the nomination for president.

In September, the unemployment rate jumped to its highest level in 5 years. As Obama began to outline his economic plans, more and more investors fled the market. By mid-October, it was going into free-fall.

On the day Obama was elected, the market had fallen from its peak of 11,000 when the Dems took over Congress to just over 9,000. By Inauguration Day, it had fallen to 8,000.

It has fallen by 1,400 points per week for every week Obama has been in office. If it continues to fall at the current rate it will be at zero before the end of April.

What is curious about this is the fact that Obama continues to talk down the economy, knowing the effect his words are having. If the President STILL says your retirement money isn't safe in the market, what do you do? And what effect does that have on the market?

So, WHY is he still slamming the economy?

Obama, or his advisors, know the history of American recessions and how Americans get out of them. Or deeper into them. Higher taxes and increased government spending have the same effect on a national economy as compensating for a pay cut by spending more on your credit cards.

Nations can't borrow their way out of debt any more than individuals can. He knows that. So he is proposing a ten-fold increase in spending, funded by borrowing from the future and taxing present wealth, knowing it will only make things worse.

What is the end game? Rahm Emmanuel explained it over the weekend on TV. "You never want a serious crisis to go to waste. What I mean by that is it's an opportunity to do things that you think you could not do before."

Especially a crisis that was more than two years in the making. It's already paid off, big time, so why rein things in now?

Things are just starting to go their way.

Weirdness

I woke up this morning with this "Yes" song in my head, "Shoot High, Aim Low". I downloaded it a few years ago but haven't really listened to it since college. I have no idea what brought it into my head, I don't recall thinking about it, but maybe some memory was sparked. It is a good song, but an obscure one that you don't hear often; not in stores or on TV or anything. I woke up singing it and I knew the lyrics, which is bizarre because not only do I never remember lyrics even to my favorite songs, but I also never knew the lyrics to this one at all. BIZARRE. So, I burned my copy to CD and listened to it in the car on my commute in. The lyrics are weird.

We hit the blue fields
In the blue sedan we didn't get much further
Just as the sun was rising in the mist
We were all alone we didn't need much more
So fast this expedition
So vast this heavy load
With a touch of luck and a sense of need
Seeing the guns and their faces
We look around the open shore
Waiting for something

Shoot high break low
Aim high shoot low
Break high let go
Shoot high aim low

This was to be our last ride
With the steel guitar and the love you give me
Underneath the skin a feeling, a breakdown
Well we sat for hours on the crimson sand
Exchanges in the currency of humans bought and sold
And the leaders seem to lose control
Shall we lose ourselves for a reason
Shall we burn ourselves for the answer
Have we found the place that we're looking for
Someone shouted "open the door"
Lookout

Shoot high break low
Aim high shoot low
Feeling of imagination
Break high let go
Shoot high aim low
Shoot high aim low
Nothing you can say
Shoot high let go
Takes me by surprise
Shoot high aim low

Who says's there's got to be a reason
Shoot high let go
Who says there's got to be an answer
We were all alone, we didn't need much more
Shoot high aim low
The sun's so hard on this endless highway
Shoot high let go
Shoot high aim low
I've heard the singers, who sing of love
Shoot high let go

In the blue sedan we never got much further
Shoot high aim low

America is collapsing, my friends.

It is happening before our very eyes. It is not a theory or a speculation of mine. Most Americans do not comprehend the scope or magnitude of this crisis. But they soon will. The dollar is going to collapse. It is possible Obama will have to declare Martial Law before the end of 2009. You may not believe it, you may be optimistic and thinking all of this is temporary, but it is not. I'm sorry. We are going down, and we are going down fast. It makes me sad. Prepare yourselves. Prepare mentally, physically and spiritually. If you do not, you will be in shock. I'm warning you, please listen! I get info from so many different sources. Credible sources. They have not steered me wrong yet. Not only that, but my soul can feel it also. Can you feel it? Can you feel that something is very, very wrong? More than any other time in your life with regards to the State of the Union? Listen to your gut.

What is the point?

Right now I'm trying to figure out what the point in blogging is. I guess I'm trying to figure out the point in a lot of things right now.

Feast 3

OKAY, it's snowing, and I'm all curled up on the couch about to watch "Feast 3". LOVED Feast 1, Feast 2 wasn't too bad, so now for the grand finale. Seriously though, if you haven't seen the original Feast, go rent it RIGHT NOW. Best monster movie EVER.

Um, yeah.

Not so deep.

My posts have been a little shallow lately because my brain has been fried. I go home at night and crash; I haven't even been watching my shows. I get up, go to work, eat a little something, and go to bed. That is pretty much life right now with the exception that I went to dinner with my mom last night. I'm beat. Tired. Not much of a life, huh? Yeah. I know. I feel like many things are out of my control right now, so I'm operating in robot mode, yet trying to learn my job. The future seems muddled; uncertain; ominous.

Applebee's

You know, Applebee's isn't half bad! I am here for the first time with mom. The spinach and artichoke dip rocks! I thought it was like a Denny's or something.

 
I wanted to stick sharp things into my eyeballs at work today, but I am getting the hang of things.

Lunch

Top Ramen for lunch dues. (Dues = Dudes)

Walk from the parking garage.

I'm frustrated today, (already), so I'll just post these random little Seattle pics I took on the walk to my building this morning. Enjoy. I need coffee and chocolate of some sort. Stat.

New Job Loneliness

I love being able to close my office door and have absolute silence. It is nice. I have so much reading to do, and the solitude helps me get it done faster.

I'm still feeling out of place, but that will just take time, I guess. You know how you feel when you are missing someone? That is the best way to describe how I feel. A little lonely, a little displaced. My other jobs afforded me comfort in that I hit the ground running on the first day, but that was a rare luxury I now know. What I am doing here is not that difficult in the grand scheme of things, but I do have some challenges ahead of me for producing change when people don't know me. I am much more tired at the end of my days here, that's for sure.

My personal life? I'm still battling the same demons, they never seem to get tired, but I'm pushing through the best I can. I've had to let go of someone recently, and it hasn't been easy. Not everyone is appointed to stay in your life, sometimes their presence is only for a season, for whatever reason. In this case, I think it was a combination of a lesson, a distraction, and an awakening.

I'm sure things will get better as I get to know people, but right now it's an adjustment for sure, and I'm a little tentative and sad.

Distractions Help

I'm trying to keep myself busy and not take so many naps on the weekend. It is hard. I did manage to start working on my home office project, but now the rest of the house is a mess. Arg!

I'm going to have a busy week at work reading procedures and learning the ropes. My boss is out of town, so it will be extra difficult. I actually brought in some personal items for my desk today, which was a feat with the hike I have to do. (Have I complained about that enough yet?) I still need flowers or a plant or something. I also forgot my lunch today, so I get to go wandering around Seattle today looking for food. Maybe I'll take a pic or two. I am so completely out of my comfort zone that it is a little amusing.

Office project, complete.

I no longer have piles and piles of stuff and boxes on the floor (see pic from earlier post), I put a bunch of clutter into the garage sale pile, I sorted through junk and papers and purged them, and vacuumed and dusted. I'm tired now.

The next step is picking out colors and painting, then designing a desk/bookshelf to build because the one I have is garbage. One thing at a time.

Saturday Morning Fun

Wanna fuck up your Saturday morning? Pay bills. Unless you have a lot of money, then in that case, just fuck you. ;-) Seriously, though, I need to do these things during the week, because it sets a bad tone for the weekend to start off seeing how much money I don't have to spend. It makes me want to crawl back into bed, put the sheets over my head, and not get back out until Monday morning. But here we are. I must continue on; it is what it is.

Maggie and Daddy. She also needs to be groomed, badly. Gah.

I'm not a groomer.

My poor badly groomed dog. His face is supposed to be much fuzzier. I keep telling him it will grow out. He's all mopey about it.

Well, I survived the first 3 days of my new job. It has been a big change for me, and all the walking has made my butt and hips sore. Shutty. I know.

I apparently woke up yelling "Get out!" LOL.

I think I've lost the ability to blog in any sort of organized fashion.

I'm working in the city now.

Really bad cell phone pics of Seattle around where I work. Today was better. Getting into the trenches.

First Day

I'm so exhausted. First day was overwhelming. I'm feeling a bit like a fish out of water at the moment. Working at a big company in downtown Seattle is a WHOLE lot different than working at a small private company on the cush, slow-paced Eastside. I have my own office (yay!), but I don't have a view. Yet. And I have to walk about a mile to the building from where I have to frigging park. Today it was rainy and windy. BUT I have a job (a good one) and I'm VERY thankful.

Yes, Juice, the commute sucks, and no, Nichole I don't work at Fred Hutchinson. I'll tell you where I work if you email me, I need to be careful on the blog these days.

Once I figured out what floor I work on, I then got stuck in the bathroom. There is good smelly lotion in there and after I washed my hands, I put some on. I then could not open the door with the big heavy round knob. I had to use my shirt to get it open, and even then, it took me a few minutes. Yeah, I'm doing great! What a loser. LOL.

I am now enjoying a LARGE adult beverage. Nighty night.

Aaaahhh!

Holy shit I'm overwhelmed! Breathe in, breathe out. Calm. I can do this.

Parking Lot Blogging

I'm sitting in the grocery store parking lot blogging. I did not get, nor intend to get groceries. I'm not sure why I'm here. I am smoking a cigarette (shut up) and drinking a flat Pepsi left over from lunch. Yes, this is who you are reading.

My last day at my contract job today was a little sad. I wouldn't have thought it would be, but I actually made a friend I will miss. I was only there 3 months, but it was pretty cool. I am starting a job tomorrow a little unlike anything I've ever done before. It's in the city, it has more than 50 employees, and it is Biotech. (I previously was in medical device.) I need to put my 'A' game on, and I guess that is why I'm nervous. It is exciting, too, but my life has been a bit topsy turvy and I need to make sure I am focused.