Somebody Kill Me

I am so cranky today it isn't even funny. I still don't feel good, I woke up at 3 am, I'm hungry and have NO money and the work keeps piling up on my desk. Jim has bronchitis and is home sick. (Sick men SUCK. Whiny-ass babies. Not that I'm any better right now.) I pretty much want to kill everybody, not because they are doing anything, just because. My work stocks cold medicine, and I think I have taken enough Sudafed to outfit a meth lab. I sort of want to cry, too.

All Work and No Play Makes Cheryl a Sick Girl.

Ugh. I am hella-busy at work, and I am sick. My head aches, I think I have a fever because I am sweating and have the chills, my throat is scratchy and my tummy hurts. But I'm here, working. I haven't been to the gym in 2 days - and tomorrow I'm supposed to cash in the free "training sessions" I won. Don't think I'm gonna make it. Crap.

Here is my stepson, Mr. Snotty Snotterson, who is the one WHO MADE ME SICK.

Fall is here.

Fall comes to Washington in, like, one day. It will be in the 80's, then BOOM! The next day it's 55 and raining buckets. I had my windshield wipers on full blast this morning, accompanied by the butt-warmer, which I love. I was so ready for fall. I don't really like hot weather. Yeah, it's fun to go swimming and stuff, but I get all grumpy when I'm sweaty and dizzy from the heat. I'm all giddy to wear sweaters and scarves and cuddle up with my puppies with a nice, warm cup of cocoa and a good book. It's also supposed to thunder and lightning today, hooray! I know, I know, I'm weird. I even like the fact that it's dark now in the morning when I drive to work. I don't really know why. But I do. Right now, I'm trying to figure out some cold-weather comfort food to make for dinner. Stew? Roast?

Slow Dancing

OK, we're a little tipsy, but not too wasted to be all romantic and stuff. We just slow danced, you know, like you did in Highschool when you just hugged and rocked back and forth? Yeah, like that. My honey was all touched because I sang along. Do you know the song?

Love ain't a candle
It doesn't burn for one night
And need the dark to shine
Love is alive
And love ain't just a word
In every dictionary
With no where defined
Love is a man and he's mine

Love is alive
And at our breakfast table
Everyday of the week
Love is alive
And it grows everyday and night
Even in our sleep
Love is alive
And it's made a happy woman out of me
Oh love is alive
And here by me
Love ain't just a rule
A distant far away dream
That needs the night to rise

Love is alive
And love ain't just a song
Sweet words of music
To go dancin' by
Love is a man and he's mine
Love is alive, here by me

Apparently, I haven't done much living.

Just highlight the things you've done.  Got this from Yerdoingitwrong.

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said "I love you" and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66.Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an expert
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Eaten fugu (pufferfish)
89. Had a one-night stand
90. Gone to Thailand
91. Bought a house
92. Been in a combat zone
93. Buried one/both of your parents
94. Been on a cruise ship
95. Spoken more than one language fluently (not quite, but close)
96. Performed in Rocky Horror Picture Show
97. Raised children
98. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication.
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

My results: 62 out of 150. That's 41%, a big fat FAIL.

12 Years Ago Today

I was translated into untold bliss. Well, I was married. I have to say that it has not all been perfect, but I woke up today truly glad to celebrate with my honey. I made us eggs benedict for breakfast, and Jim went to get me chocolate donuts. We have also been planning our next Disneyland trip! It's a little far out because we have had a difficult financial year, but we are all excited to have something to look forward to. I love you, Jim. How about another 12 years?

The pics: Us on August 27th, 1994, my bachelorette party the Wednesday before, eggs benedict this morning, August 27th, 2006.

Statistically Improbable Things

Got this from Whirled Peas: List 10 statistically improbable things I've done (or things I've done that most people haven't.)

1. I've hit 2 deer and 1 dog with my car and lived. Three different vehicles, all traumatic.
2. I had graduated from a four-year college, been through the police academy, been a cop and gotten married all by the time I was 22.
3. I've jumped out of a perfectly good airplane 7 times.
4. I've had to have surgery to get a kidney stone out.
5. I've never broken a bone (just a small fracture in my wrist) and I'm incredibly clumsy.
6. I can eat an entire large pizza by myself just outside of 10 minutes.
7. I've never been outside the country, and my dad worked for United Airlines.
8. I've never had a root canal or a crown, and I've only had 2 very small cavities in my life, and I'm 34.
9. I couldn't burp until I was 25.
10. I can vomit at any time, on queue.

I combed my hair today BEFORE WORK.

I know you're thinking "really?", but if you compare this photo to the one I posted the other day, you can see the difference. Now I just need to do something about those dark circles under my eyes. Like go to Tahiti for a month.

Hell is Frozen and Pigs are Flying

I woke up in a good mood. I KNOW. That, in and of itself is a miracle, but the fact that it is ALSO Monday, well, that's SOMETHING!

The weekend was nothing special, just cleaned the house. Scrubbed the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen floor, washed my throw-rugs. Not too exciting. Jim mowed and watered the grass and washed my car.

I got to work today, said good morning to everyone and started working RIGHT AWAY. I don't know what is going on. It's a little scary.

Cheez Balls

You may be wondering what the vulgar picture is all about. Well, I'll tell you. Planter's no longer makes CHEEZ BALLS. Fuckers.

I'll explain later.

Important Things

"Lucky Louie", the new sitcom-type series on HBO is FREAKING HILARIOUS. It is like a shock-value sitcom. They swear a lot and I got to see a full-on penis. My kind of show.

I just received my new RAZR cell phone (for free!) and I'm loving it. I have stepped into the 21st century (my old phone was like 5 years old) where you can do more than just 'talk' on your phone. I am snapping pictures all over the place. This could be dangerous. I'm taking the doggies to the vet today for their annual shots/exams, maybe I'll take video of Louie freaking out when the nurse puts the thermometer up his butt.

The Descent

Loved it! Four paws up! "The Descent" movie rocked. One of the best horror movies I've seen in a while. Lots of good gore, suspense and there's a twist. My stepson had both of his ears plugged (which means it's scary) and Jim kept saying things like, "Whoa!" "Shit!" "Damn!" during the movie, which TOTALLY cracked me up, number one, and number two is pretty uncommon for him. I walked out of the theatre wanting to see it again. I'm not going to give anything away because the less you know about the movie, the better the experience it will be for you. Go see it!

Here is where my maturity level shines.

Since NO ONE seems to want to talk about horror movies, I joined the fangoria.com message boards so that I can discuss cannibalism and throat-slicing there. So NYAH!

Anticipation

I seriously can't find a bad review of this movie. ("The Descent") The ones I have found that seem negative are from people who haven't even SEEN the film yet, or who don't like horror movies to begin with; and even those reviews have been hard to find. Horror movies are notorious for having mixed reviews. Usually, your hard-core horror fans are disappointed, and your teenagers are all wigged out over nothing because they are stupid. If the hard-core fans like a film, then no one else does. Well, not this film. EVERYONE seems to dig it! I guess it came out in the UK last year and received rave reviews there, too. Here is an excerpt I just found on "Horrorwatch":

Afraid of the dark? You will be. A group of female friends led by Juno (Natalie Mendoza) encounter bloodthirsty creatures when they get trapped in a mountain cave due to an avalanche. Worst of all, their friendships sour and they discover their real fear is from each other. This has to be one of the best films of this year. This movie accomplishes what The Cave didn't. Full of terrifying suspense, ample blood flow, awesome looking creatures, action packed sequences, and all without the use of CGI. The atmosphere was totally creepy the whole way through. At times, I actually think the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up. More than once I jumped and almost fell over. Every time somebody rounded a corner, I found myself holding my breath. This is as creepy as creepy gets. The acting was superb. The actresses really draw you in to their world. They make you feel almost as if you are right there with them. Never have I seen such powerful performances in a low budget film. The "crawlers" add perfectly to the creepiness. They are plain ferocious and can move with unbelievable speed. They also like to rip their prey apart as blood goes everywhere. I highly, highly recommend this film to any and every horror fan. This is one movie not to be missed. This film puts you in a downward spiral full of fear. Good luck watching this alone in the dark. Hands down, I give this a 10 out of 10.

It is WAY too hot for me.

It was 100 degrees this weekend at my house. No breeze, lots of humidity (air stagnation), no air conditioning except the little one in my bedroom, and no shade or trees over my house. I wore a white T-Shirt with no underwear and no bra ALL WEEKEND. I did not change. I stayed in my bedroom 90% of the time bored out of my mind. I did not eat much because when I ventured out to the kitchen, I was drenched in sweat within 10 seconds.

I don't do well in the heat, but this was ridiculous. I did not go outside AT ALL for fear that my skin would sizzle off. Now, you have to understand, I live near Seattle, you know, the rainy place. No one here is used to this kind of insane weather. You can't breathe when it gets over 85 degrees. I can get my mind around summer weather, swimming, picnics, etc., but when it goes into the 100's, it's like curl up in the fetal position in your tiny little bedroom with no lights on and a little air conditioner that is working overtime and rub popsicles all over your body.

This heat wave has no end in sight. It was nice to come to work today in the air-conditioned office. I may be working many hours this week.

Dog Food and Grocery Store Behavior

OK, so I got Louie his frigging gourmet dogfood. He was seriously excited. He was eating so vigorously that he was banging his bowl against the cabinets. I was just shaking my head. It's like we had been starving him or something.

We ran out of people food yesterday, and even though I don't get paid until tomorrow we decided to go grocery shopping last night and just floated a check. Sad, I know. Anyway, Jim and I shopping together is kind of funny. There was this big "buy one get one free" sale at Albertson's, so we were all over that. We met at the store after we got off work. (Usually, I just do the grocery shopping by myself, and now I know why.)

First, Jim yelled at me because my car is dirty, and he hates that. "Why don't you ever clean this car?" "I'm going to trade it in for a Yugo." Then, as we were walking in the parking lot toward the store, we were scoping out different entrances and kept bumping into each other. I finally pushed him, and he said, "Why the hell are you pushing me?" and I said, "Because you keep running into me." Then he said, "How about we go in the same entrance?" Hehe.

So, then we get inside. I grab a cart, put my purse in it and start flipping through the sale ads to find out what I want. I also got my calculator out. (Shut up, we are on a budget.) Jim rolls his eyes and gets all annoyed. "Are you coming or WHAT?" I beeline for the first "buy one get one free" display. Jim says, "Where's the fire?" I start thinking to myself, "First he is annoyed that I'm going too slow, now I'm going too fast. MAKE UP YOUR MIND." It is hot and muggy, and the store is crazy with people everywhere and I'm starting to get irritated. After putting a few items in the cart, we notice that it is one of those squeaky-can't-push-it-in-a-straight-line kind of carts. We look at each other. I shrug and keep going. Jim huffs REALLY loud and stomps off to get a new cart. I wait for him. He comes back and *dramatically* transfers our items to the new cart. I giggle.

I have to tell him THREE times that he is putting the wrong refried beans in the cart. I'm sure people are watching us by this point. We get to the meat department. I start looking for the "buy one get one free" items in one area, and Jim goes down further to look. Neither one of us can figure out which fucking meat items are on sale. We start bitching to ourselves out loud about this. More staring. Then, I become obsessed with finding my favorite cheese. (Mexican Velveeta.) I'm craving it for some reason. Since this is not the regular store we shop at, neither one of us have the first clue where anything is in the store. It takes me like 40 minutes to find it because they don't keep it in the FUCKING CHEESE SECTION. Jim tries to keep up, bitching the whole way that I need to forget about the cheese.

Jim, then, becomes obsessed with getting ingredients to make banana splits because that is what HE is craving. (I am now focused on finding the on-sale pineapple chunks.) To make a long story short, we are nut-jobs out in public together. I think there were other little things that happened, but I can't remember them right now and I'm tired of typing, so bye.

My Spoiled Rotten Little Brat

That would be Louie. We have been on a tight budget lately, so I bought some less expensive dog food. Not CHEAP food, mind you, just less expensive. Usually, the brats are fed the highest quality dog food I can find, one that has flax seed oil and duck as main ingredients. (Good for the coat.) Lou and Mags did fine for about 2 weeks and inhaled the food like normal in about 20 seconds. The past few days, however, Louie has decided that this food isn't good enough for him. I pour it in his dish, he sniffs it, and then looks back up at me like, "Are you kidding me?" He takes one bite, then walks away huffing and pouts for about an hour. He only takes one bite at a time so that he doesn't starve to death. He accidentally dropped a piece of food in his water, and then he WOULDN'T DRINK THE WATER because, you know, EWW. So, he went and drank Maggie's water. Little fucker. He is now ignoring me and won't listen to a word I say. I am apparently being punished for feeding him crap food.

Oh, and BTW, Louie is not sick. I was eating toast the other day and when I went to go turn the stove off (gone 30 seconds or so) Louie had jumped up on the coffee table and devoured it before I got back.

Blowing up the neighborhood.

The kids: My stepson Bill, my stepson's cousin Nathan, and my husband. Being the safety-conscious and concerned parents that we are, here are the boys holding Roman Candles in their hands and lighting off illegal bottle rockets. They also lit off mortars, which were really quiet. Ha. I also took a picture of the sunset, which I'm calling a "nuclear sunset" because upon hearing about North Korea firing their test missiles I thought, "Hmm, I wonder if that's nuclear fallout." It was eerily beautiful. All said and done, we had fun, and everyone had all their body parts intact by the end of the evening. Happy 4th.

Eagle Falls

It was ninety frickin' five today. TOO HOT. I am sweating as I write this because we have no air conditioning, because who needs air conditioning in rainy Washington? We had to go propel ourselves into glacier water today to survive. We drove up to Eagle Falls on the Skykomish River, also known as "The Milepost 39 Swimming Hole", which is only about 30 minutes East into the mountains from our house. It felt really good (although Jim was kind of a wuss about it), and we also stopped at "Zekes" to belly-up on some grease. I am now a burnt lobster and want to die.