It won't stop snowing.

I thought maybe it would be a day or so, just a freak storm. Not so much. It has been snowing the last 3 days, and I woke up to it again this morning. It's April frigging 20th! If you don't believe we are experiencing climate change, you're out of your damn mind. When all else fails, though, make crab and artichoke dip. It works for me. It is my most requested dish, and it is delectable! Sorry, I can't give you my recipe because it has secret ingredients. If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

In the photos, we have snow-covered confused plants, and an unhappy Jim coming back from knocking snow off of the satellite dish. You also may notice my poor little tulips that just bloomed right next to the tree. Neat.

My Grandma

My mom just called and told me my grandma was gone. I called her "Mimi". I know it's stupid, but that's what I called her when I was a kid and it stuck. I spent many summers visiting her, and a large portion of my childhood at my grandparent's house. They played with me, took me to Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm and she was this incredible cook. She loved everything spicy, that must be where I get it from. She loved to dance, and her and my grandpa (which I called Papaw or 'Pap') were always dancing all over the house with country music blaring. They were a lot of fun. I would spend the whole summer there sometimes, and I met other kids in the neighborhood who became my really good friends, and they were always coming over to the "fun" house with the pool. My grandparents would even "slip" us beers. "Don't tell your mother!", they would say. No wonder I was popular. Hehe. Needless to say, they weren't the 'typical' cookies and milk grandparents. I miss her already. I am so sick of crying; it gives me a terrible headache. This makes 3 deaths in our family in 5 months. I'm not doing so hot right now. I wish my mom was here. This is a terrible picture, but this is how I remember her, always joining in on the fun with my friends and me. The boys in the picture are Aaron, a neighbor who I became friends with when I was about 12, and Dan, Aaron's best friend. My California peeps.

Um, WTF? Over.

Okay, so it was 82 here last Saturday. It is now BLIZZARDING. Wanna hear the newest round of crazy and messed up? I knew you did. Sit down. Have a drink. Join me.

First, I get a call from work. At 9 am. Having a crisis. I had to drive in and fix it. My commute is an HOUR. I can't even get two damn days off in a row. How lame. (Yes, I am writing in short squatty sentences today. I write like I talk, and that is how I'm talking today.) So, I went and did that and some other very frustrating errands. Tip: If you see something at Costco you want or need, BUY IT RIGHT THEN because it WILL NOT BE THERE when you go back. In the Costco parking lot, I saw big black clouds and then it started hailing. It did not stop hailing for 20 minutes. I like storms, so I was all jazzed. Thunder? Cool. Lightning? Even cooler. Horrendous traffic because it starts blizzarding on your way home? Not cool.

Then I get a call from my mom. My grandma isn't going to make it through the night. She is in a coma and expected to die any minute. My poor mom is a mess, crying and upset and scared. I don't know what to say to her anymore. I don't know how to help. She may have to stay in California for a month to sort everything out with the lawyers. What do I do? Well, for now I'll just blog and post pictures, and try not to lose my shit. I have to keep it together for my mom.

I'm the biggest sap on the planet.

I've been a serious couch potato today watching movies. What movies did I watch? Sad ones. Because that's a great way to make yourself feel better. Not. One of the ones I watched was "Titanic", one of my favorites. It really is a good flick, Jim likes it, too. I aways cry at the end, of course. This was my third sad movie in a row and I'm thinking I need to go put in Texas Chainsaw Massacre or something so I can be normal. OK, that didn't sound right. LOL. Jim will be home soon, so I need to get it together before he checks me into the looney bin. The dogs have been joined to my hip today. They like it when mama is home. They haven't left my side, and they are so faithful to lick my stupid little tears. It was a good day off. Eating, sleeping and laying on the couch watching movies. I've got tomorrow off too, but it will be filled with tasks. Meh.

You like spicy?

I decided on Cajun prawns for lunch. Everybody begs me to make these, they are so good! I used to observe the chefs at the restaurants I worked at, and now I just cook some of the things I remember. It's really hard not to use an entire baguette (bread) to sop up the sauce.

Finally a few days off.

I just woke up, and I am going to figure out something to cook to eat, then probably watch movies all day or something really productive like that. I'm all by my lonesome today so I'm going to stay in my long T-shirt and Husky (dog) slippers. It's cold and rainy, so it's the perfect time to get some much-needed R&R. I'll blog more later if I'm not napping.

May I complain some more, please?

Of course I can, its MY blog! So there. Where do I start? There are so many things bothering me right now; some I can blog about, some I can't, but here is a buttload of the things I am going to vent to you about.

First, I just dropped my SUV off this morning to get some work done on it. Tires, brakes, that kind of stuff. How much is it going to cost? Over $1100! Well, groceries are overrated anyway, right? Crap on a cracker.

Second, my mom just went back to California to put my grandpa into a dementia home and check on my grandma, and, well, she needs surgery and is refusing it. She will die soon. She is aware enough to make her own decisions, and she has decided she doesn't want to go through with the surgery. Terrific. More death. I feel worse for my mom after all she's gone through. When is enough, enough? Seriously?

Third, I wanted to put in for my days off this morning, which would start tomorrow, but my boss is out today. Perfect. I am going to try and get it cleared through someone else, but of course it has to be the hard way for me. Always the hard way. You see my boss is awesome and pretty much lets me do whatever I want because I bust my ass for him. I don't know about others here. If I don't get some days off, I am going to collapse, though, I can tell you that.

I know I am my own worst enemy when it comes to some things, but my life feels completely out of my control right now. One minute I think I'm handling things the right way and doing the right thing, and next minute I feel like I've completely screwed everything up. Don't I make you feel better about your life? LOL. Over the last week and a half, I've lost 11 pounds. I guess that's something good, huh?

Taking some time off to clear my head.

I am going to ask for a 5-day weekend (Thurs thru Mon). I need it. Bad. I'm just sitting here staring at my computer screen. I can't think. I can't get anything done, and I don't care. Yes, it's negative time again. You didn't think I would be all happy-dappy for too long now did you? Silly internet people. You know better than that. One minute I'm singing in my car like I just won the lottery and skipping around the zoo, and the next I'm just waiting for the sweet release of death. (Spare me the 'you are too negative' speeches, please.) That is why this website is not called NormalDogMama, or SaneDogMama, or BalancedDogMama. You want warm and fuzzy? Run. Away. Quickly. Yes, I know, I am big, huge hypocrite. I tell people to go be happy all the time. At least I can admit it. LOL.

Also, my therapist is out of town. At least I've been blogging every day. I can't believe I've been blogging for almost 5 years now. Here is something upbeat for you, I get to meet Yogagirl! Yay! We've been stalking each other from almost the first day I started blogging, and now that she's moved from Texas to Oregon, we finally get to meetup. Speaking of Texas, I thought about moving to San Antonio for a while about a year or so ago. Anyway, I'm starting to not make sense so I'm going to go to the gym and run. I hate running. My boobs flop everywhere, and it makes my back hurt. Peace out.

Zoo Pics

We had a lovely time at the zoo, here is my short photo summary: The hippos were cool, the gorillas look just like I feel, (except they can lay down) and the peacock was beautiful. The zoo took me out my funk for a few hours; animals can do that. Unfortunately, it's back to my reality now of insomnia, thinking too much, and work. Meh.

Fun stuff, then some serious stuff.

Jim and I went to the Zoo yesterday. The ZOO. You know, to visit the relatives. *snort* It was a hoot! We really needed to get out of that house. We haven't been in a long time; I think since my stepson was 6 or so. I remember he wouldn't go into the nocturnal house because it was "too dark", but then he saw a little girl go in, so he got all brave. We went just by ourselves yesterday and held hands as we walked around. It was so sweet. We haven't done that in a long time. I know, AWW. Shut it.

They have a really cool grizzly bear exhibit where you go into this little cave and there is a hole with plexiglass right where the bear feeds. We were really lucky to catch this incredible view! It is really something to have your face about 6 inches from a HUGE Grizzly bear's face. It was spiritual in a way. Looking into his eyes and seeing his teeth and amazing claws right in front of you. His breath steaming the glass and hearing his snorts. The hippos were active, too, and we actually saw the wolves! You never get to see the wolves! (I love wolves.)

I promise some pics tonight or tomorrow. I am fully retarded, though. I have this great camera but forgot my memory storage cards. I only had one card with me, and since my camera is 10 megapixels, it only allowed about 13 pictures on it. DUMB, DUMB! But I did get a couple of nice shots, I just need to fiddle with them a bit in photoshop first.

On to the serious stuff. That happens so rarely on this blog. (Ha.) On Saturday morning I was all weepy. If you've looked on my Flickr account recently, you may have noticed a plant picture, a little tree, actually. It was given to me by a really dear childhood friend and his wife right after my dad died to plant in his memory. It died, too, I noticed that morning. I killed it. I suck so bad with stuff like that. I lost it and bawled my eyes out. Jim didn't know what to do, poor guy. He kept telling me it was OK, but there was no consoling me. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes things affect me greatly and I have the hardest time with them. Anyway, didn't mean to be a downer, but blogging is such a good way to get this stuff out. Happy Monday.

CrazyDogMama's Badass Kabobs

I know I've posted about this before (I think), but kabobs are so sexy and photogenic, that I had to share again. We had this incredible 82-degree day yesterday where I couldn't resist making my kabobs. I know this is not such a hard feat, but we like them. I marinate top sirloin in this crazy-expensive spicy teriyaki sauce, then add Worcestershire sauce, garlic powder and red wine, and soak them for hours. Then, I cut up fresh green pepper, red pepper, cherry tomatoes and red onion along with mushrooms and pineapple chunks. This time I added some jumbo shrimp in jerk seasoning. My tummy is very happy. I paired this meal with a nice cabernet.

What's up with the weather these days? Two days ago, it was like 30 degrees outside! Life is strange. In more than one way.

My New Sunglasses

I know you're thrilled, believe me. But you see, I haven't bought new sunglasses in like, 7 years. It was time. They are different from the kind I usually buy, and they are a little bug-eye, but I like them. Taken just a few minutes ago at my desk, never mind the bed-head or exceptional quality of my cell phone camera.

We're going out tonight (my co-workers and I) to celebrate getting through hell week, and as you know, it's actually sunny and we may sit on the patio. So, these were a total and completely necessary purchase.

I am a blogging machine right now, hold on!

After 8 glorious hours of sleep!

Much better. I woke up in a good mood. Pigs are flying, people. I'm in a rather silly mood this morning, so stay with me here. Today's commute was a little different. Usually, I'm listening to stupid traffic reports or talking on my cell, but screw that! I decided on music instead. I cranked some 70's tunes (shut it) and some other random stuff. At one point I stopped at a light and had "I'm alright", the theme from "Caddyshack", playing by Kenny Loggins, (again, shut it) and I was SINGING along with it. Two guys drove up beside me and looked over. One of them was sacked out drooling into his coffee cup (which made me laugh) and the other was smiling and laughing at me. I waved. He waved back. I continued to sing. I'm thinking it will be an interesting day.

Can you say zombie? I knew you could.

I am an actual zombie today. I only got about, oh, maybe an hour of sleep, and I've worked 2 weeks straight in row with no weekend. It's neat. I love it. People kept asking me every 5 minutes, "What's up with you?" which really made me happy, you understand. Coffee didn't do anything except make me pee more, and I was busy when I thought it was going to start slowing down starting today. The good news is I got my yearly review, and even though I only had one eye open during the meeting, I got tons of praise for a job well done and a bigger raise than I thought! Happy dance! I'll celebrate later. Need sleep. Now.

On a side note, I thought this little snippet was kind of funny. Jim just got home and realized he left a whole plate of food in the microwave and forgot about it, which I found when I got home and put in the sink because it was ruined of course. The conversation went like this:

Jim: Oh man! That pisses me off! I can't believe I did that!
Me: Yeah, it didn't make me happy either.
Jim: Oh, shut it, you get pissed when someone accidentally throws aways a sugar packet. You act like you went through the depression or something.

LOL. OK, so I'm a freak and don't like to waste things. Sue me.

Another Stupid MEME

I'm sick of these MEME things, but this one is kind of interesting. Play along if you want. I know how much you all live for them. Oh, and how about all this posting I've been doing lately, huh? Aren't you proud of me?

1. When and where were you born?

November 12, 1971, in Long Beach, California

2. What was your favorite thing to do as a child?

I was really into gymnastics, and I also liked to run around outside getting dirty. I was a tomboy. I loved to swim, too.

3. What is your favorite thing to do as an adult?

Sleep, eat, internet, photography. I still love to swim, too, but I don’t get to do it very often.

4. If you could change something about your life, what would it be?

I’m still in the process of figuring that out. There are lots of things I’d like to change.

5. If you work, do you like what you do?

I work. A lot. It's OK, but it’s not what I dreamed of. At least I get to indirectly help people. My company will sell in a year or two so I will have the opportunity to make changes then, if I want to. I'm kind of sick of working right now. I've been working since I was 16, and the most time off I've ever taken off consecutively is two weeks. HOW SAD IS THAT? I believe I will be kicking up my heels for a while at that point.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people, besides their looks?

Whether or not they have intelligence and sense of humor.

7. If you went to college, when, where and what was your major?

I graduated with a bachelor's degree from the University of Washington in 1993 and majored in Criminal Justice. I went back later (in 2000 and 2001) for certification in Biomedical Regulatory Affairs.

8. What did you have for breakfast?

A chocolate protein shake. I would have rather had eggs benedict.

9. What are your plans for the next weekend?

I don’t really know. I’ve been kicking around going to the Seattle Art Museum to see the Roman Art exhibit from the Louvre. I’m not usually a museum kind of girl, but that sounds interesting to me. Either that or watch TV and eat macaroni and cheese.

10. Where will you go on your next vacation?

Vacation? What is that? If I had the money, I’d like to either go to Bora Bora or do an Israel/Egypt excursion.

Apparently I'm not worthy.

How is everyone on this fine and lovely morning? I'm having delusions of grandeur. Probably from working an INSANE number of hours. Bora Bora is just looking better and better. Annie, how is the ear? Hope you are feeling better girl, we need to bowl. I need a night out BAD.

I'm sitting here at my desk having much success slurping down a HUGE iced mocha with like, 4 shots of espresso in it, and damn it, today I got whip cream. I deserve it! I'm going to be heading back to the gym next week after I can get some sleep. I have taken quite the hiatus from lifting weights, and OMG it shows. Pumping iron always makes me feel better, so I need to get back to it. Apparently, I am negative and cynical. Fuck, who knew? LOL. Yes, it's true, all of you out there in blogland, I am not the happiest person that ever lived, but I think Denis Leary said it best "Life is a series of happy MOMENTS. A chocolate chip cookie or a 5 second orgasm." How true that is. Do you see the island pictured with the amazing water? I'm going there in my head today.

Love is Strong

So, what did I do with all that free time I had this evening? I had a Bloody Mary, listened to music and danced around my kitchen. Oh, and I took stupid pictures. You know, I would LOVE to be a photographer for a living. What fun that would be. Maybe when my company sells, (it's a start-up company) and I have to rethink my life, I'll consider it. In the meantime, I need to take a class or two, or fifty.

Anyway, here is a visual for you. I love the Rolling Stones, and tonight I was blaring "Love is Strong" off of the "Voodoo Lounge" CD. This is what I danced around the kitchen to, trying to be all erotic and stuff. Yeah, I know, try not laugh. But it does have delightfully naughty lyrics:

LOVE IS STRONG

Love is strong and you're so sweet
You make me hard, you make me weak
Love is strong and you're so sweet
And some day, babe, we've got to meet

A glimpse of you was all it took
A stranger's glance, it got me hooked
And I followed you across the stars
I looked for you in seedy bars
What are you scared of, baby
It's more than just a dream
I need some time
We make a beautiful team
Beautiful team

Love is strong and you're so sweet
And some day, babe, we've got to meet
Just anywhere, out in the park
Out on the street and in the dark
I followed you through swirling seas
Down darkened woods with silent trees

Your love is strong and you're so sweet
You make me hard, you make me weak
I'll wait for you until the dawn
My mind is ripped, my heart is torn
And love is strong, and you're so sweet
Your love is bitter, it's taken neat

Totally funny, yet totally serious.

What would you say to an officer that pulled you over for not wearing your seatbelt? Me? Tell him you are on your period and your breasts are too sore. Works every time.

In other news, I ended up working Sunday too, after a nice long 12-hour Saturday. I am finally free (for the whole rest of the night!) and I think I'm going to ask for many days off to drink margaritas, my friends. Any joiners? (Nichole, perhaps you could come up early?)

Work

The answer to, "How late are you going to work tonight?" is, "Until my anxiety meds wear off."

The company I work for is doing the first "human implants" with two of our new products on the 12th and 15th of April, which means serious crunch time for me. (We have developed two new medical devices that get implanted in the lumbar of the spine for spinal stenosis.) I'll probably be here until midnight or so tonight trying to get all my paperwork done, and then I'm back again tomorrow. On a Saturday! Wah.

I'm taking a short dinner break right now and catching up on the internet. More poor brain is mush, and my anxiety levels are still raging. Did I tell you that (within 4 months) my dad died, then Jim's dad died, then we found out my grandparents have severe dementia and my mom had to fly to California to help them, then when she brought my grandpa back, he attacked her, and she had to call 911 and they hauled him away. Now my poor mom, who still isn't over my dad dying, is trying to figure out how to get both of her parents in homes, and my grandpa back to California. Thank God she wasn't hurt, but it scared her. (I flew out of bed at 2 am and drove over there.) So, now you know why I'm on meds.

I am trying to find the time to take more pictures, however, and put a few on flickr. Anyway, I'm rambling here and need to get back to work.

I was tagged.

I was tagged by "Whiney Momma", don't blame me.

4 Jobs I've Had:
Waitress
Police Officer
Regulatory Affairs Specialist / Senior Document Control Specialist
Bookkeeper

4 Shows on my TiVo/DVR:
Lost
24
Men in Trees
Two and a Half Men

4 Places I've Been: (this is REALLY exciting)
Washington
California
Idaho
Oregon

4 Favorite Foods:
Fancy Italian Cuisine
Papa Murphy’s Pizza & Big Juicy Hamburgers
Tenderloin Steak & Australian Lobster Tail
Good Chocolate Desserts

4 CD's Recently Listened To:
Forever in Blue Jeans (Neil Diamond)
All the Right Reasons (Nickelback)
More Human than Human (White Zombie)
Saving Grace (Everlast)

4 Things You Can Do to Make My Day:
Leave a nice comment.
Bring me a present.
Give me money.
Tell me I look pretty.

4 People I Tag:
Stick Shaker
Otter
Yogagirl
The Fabulous BriannaNichole

Chicken CPR

This is frigging hilarious. I don't know who was funnier, the woman from Arkansas or Terry Bradshaw. I'm warped, so the whole chicken in the "ICU" (a cardboard box), and then Jay remarking that a cardboard box IS an "Arkansas ICU", just made me roll. Also, the part at the end where the woman says the chicken doesn't appreciate her. LOL.

7 Years ago today.

If you were anywhere near the Seattle area, you got rocked! We had one of the largest earthquakes in the state's history, a 6.8 magnitude. Someone showed me this video the other day where some guys at Microsoft had a webcam going during the quake. It's actually a great capture, and although it seems like a short jolt on the video, it seemed like a millennium when it was happening. It lasted like 41 seconds or something, which is long for a quake. I was walking outside of my work building going to my car to head to the gym. The ground started shaking while I was walking, and it seemed like I was surfing. I grabbed a hold of the top of my car and was praying that the glass from the all-glass building complex I was in wouldn't shatter and impale me. I managed to get my car door open, and DOVE inside. People came running out of the buildings, some screaming, it was a trip! If you experienced it, share your story with me!

Here's the video.

https://youtu.be/c4mFh-I1Epc

What do you have on YOUR refrigerator?

Since my Mother-In-Law is a new widow, she wanted to have and know how to use a gun. Jim and I took care of that and took her shooting last weekend. Quite hilarious, I must say. I hadn't shot my gun (see below) in almost 13 years so I wanted to make sure I still "had it". Woohoo! I do! Killed that target! I was proud of myself and stuck my target on the frig. I know, I have issues.

Sig Sauer Pro 2340: A semi-automatic 40 caliber pistol

Nothing says "Happy Valentines Day" like a Chocolate Martini.

Yum. Love.

Food, Photos, and Dogs.

First, you must agree that anything sleeping is precious. ESPECIALLY fuzzy things. When I'm working on the computer, he always curls up in the middle of my mess, and snores. Second, this is my first rotisserie masterpiece of chicken. I have to say it was pretty tasty and I felt all proud and stuff that we have a ROTISSERIE. Third, do you love Giada? I love Giada. Her recipes are simple, but so tasty. You don't have to be a chef to prepare these meals, and they are relatively quick, too. This recipe called for veal, but being cheap and broke, I just used chicken. I would love to get my hands on some veal, and NO, I don't care that its baby cow, because it tastes good. Hate if you will. I think the only thing I wouldn't eat is a puppy. I told Louie he'd better watch it if things go all Jericho.

The Good, the Bad, and the Bling

Well, I know I said I was back, but things are just not quite right around here yet. After going through all the stuff with my dad, Jim's dad went into the hospital as well, and the prognosis is not good. He was taken off of life support today and now it is just a matter of time. Our poor family is just going through hell right now, and to top it off, I've had the stomach flu. It's been a real treat, let me tell you.

The good is, for Christmas my sweet hubby re-proposed to me, and I got a new wedding ring. When we were married 13+ years ago, we had no money and just bought a cheap ring for me, and Jim has hated that I've had it this long. We still don't have much money (ha!), but now I have new bling anyway. He picked it out himself!! I love it, and because my original is sentimental to me, I now wear it around my neck on a gold necklace I also got for Christmas just for that purpose. Here is a pic. (Nichole - I promise new Louie and Maggie stories soon!)

I'm back, kind of.

Happy New Year everybody, I really hope 2008 is better than 2007. Last year sucked major donkey dick for me, as you may know. I won't go into all the why's.

Christmas was quiet. I did crack up at the fabulous fireworks show that the Space Needle put on this year for New Years. (*snicker* They f'd it up royally, and it was quite apropos, at least for me.) I did have a nice 11 days off to sleep, though.

So, here's to y'all, may your new year be everything you want it to be!

A Tribute to my Daddy

I was blessed with the best Daddy a girl could ever ask for. My Dad always made me feel safe and loved. He was never afraid to say, "I love you", or to cry. Growing up, we fished, we camped, we scrapbooked, we played games, we made cookies, we laughed, and we went to our favorite restaurants all the time, just me and him. He used to wake me up in the middle of the night to see it snowing. He used to carry me on his shoulders to watch the Disneyland parade. He worked hard so that I could have prom dresses and barbie dolls. He walked me down the aisle when I got married. I miss him so much it hurts.

My dad passed away last Tuesday, and I held his hand as he took his last breath. It was both the sweetest and most awful moment of my whole life. A part of me is gone, yet I know he is happy and in Heaven with Jesus, and in no more pain. He was and is a great man who had a great life. I love you Daddy, with all of my heart, Merry Christmas, it will never be the same without you.

I am crying too hard to type much more, so I will leave you with some of my favorite pictures: My dad doing what he loved the most, fishing. Me holding onto my dad in downtown Seattle, I was a daddy's girl bigtime. Christmas dinner in 2005 (Jim looks thrilled, doesn't he? LOL.) My dad with his beloved dog Molly. Thanksgiving dinner in 2006.

Having a hard time.

Yes, I'm still here, but I'm going through a family crisis. Please bear with me and I will post when I can.

Thank you, Cheryl

Fences, Turtles and Vacuuming Louie

Just when I had lost all faith in human compassion, my neighbor takes it upon himself to fix my fence while I'm at work. I know. That was really, REALLY nice. It was funny, Jim came home fully expecting to have an evening of talking to the police and cussing at the mess, and when he rolled up and saw that it was fixed, he was all, "WTF?" Anyway, I'm not feeling the hate quite as much. Don't get me wrong, the teenagers around here need a big kick in the face, but I'm not hating the world and everyone in it anymore. For now.

Now on to my exciting weekend and life. We went to see the kid's Highschool play that he landed the lead role in. It was called "The Odyssey of Jeremy Jack". It was about a turtle wanting to ditch his shell or something. I don't know. Anyway, I thought this picture was cute.

Louie *loves* the vacuum. He considers it the best dog massage ever. Here is a pic of Jim vacuuming him.

Big Pile of Hate

I was too pissy to celebrate Halloween this year. I had no want to feed the local asshole teenagers candy, (who do not even dress up) because all they do is vandalize me. They have ripped my tree-border to shreds and thrown it in the street, broken branches off of my poor little innocent tree and egged my house. I have never done anything to anyone. This is the first year I haven't given out candy, and this morning, I woke up to my entire front fence knocked down and trashed. Nice, eh? I have no money to fix it. I will be filing a police report this afternoon as well as calling the homeowner's association to inform them that they will be notifying everyone that CrazyDogMama has fucking had it. HAD. IT. Keep the little fuckers inside because I'm going on the hunt. You think I'm kidding? Friday night I will be staking out the neighborhood with a camera and a BB gun.

My Favorite Things About Growing Up in the 80's!

#1 The Breakfast Club. Every teenager on the planet can relate to this movie. "So, it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social." - Bender

#2 Feathered hair. I spent HOURS feathering my hair each day like Farrah Fawcett.

#3 Duran Duran. Hungry Like the Wolf! I liked Nick. Who did you like?

#4 Atari "Adventure". This game rocked on so many levels. I hated the fucking bat.

#5 Sixteen Candles "What's happening hot stuff?" - Long Duck Dong

#6 The 1982 Jane Fonda Workout. Feel the burn!

#7 MTV and the "Thriller" video. It still rocks. I wanted to be one of the dancing zombies. BAD.

#8 Rollerskating! Skate King Rules! These are the exact rollerskates I owned.

#9 Ms. Pacman. If only I had all those quarters back.

#10 The Beastmaster. Codo & Podo!

#11 Raiders of the Lost Ark. Best. Movie. Ever.

#12 Poltergeist. I remember going to see the midnight showing of this with my mom.

#13 Levi Button-Fly 501's; ripped with bleach spots. Tapered down the leg for maximum sexiness.

#14 AC/DC. Someday I will be Back in Black.

Sucky Mode

Things have been sucky lately. My boo-boo thumb is blacker than the smoke from the Cali fires (scary stuff), and I have been hacking up my lungs through my nose. Yes, I've been ill, hence the no posting. I have also been, well how do you put it, REALLY GRUMPY. I've been bitchy and snappy and generally a real joy to be around. Money is tight at the moment and work is really busy with an audit coming up. I won't bore you with all the details, I just need some time to get over it. I'm doing better today despite feeling super tired. I have nothing to report that is blog-worthy, but here I am checking in because I know you have all been sitting on pins and needles waiting for my next post. Ha.

What have I been up to?

I've been smashing my fucking thumb, that's what. We have these big, heavy filing cabinets at work that you have to throw your body weight into to close. When I rammed my shoulder into the top drawer like a football player practicing on those big heavy bags, I forgot the tiny detail that was my thumb in the way. OMFG. I must have jumped up and down shaking my hand like a crazy freak for 10 minutes shouting some very colorful sentences. It went something like this:

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!"

Anyway, I almost passed out because the pain was unbelievable. I fractured my wrist once and it didn't hurt this bad. Let me tell you how much you use your right thumb. A LOT. I bump it on something every 4 seconds or so and yelp like a banshee. Oh, by the way, "bump" means lightly brushing up against anything. It is all purple and black, and the picture doesn't even come close to showing the mess that is my cuticle. OUCH, people, OUCH. Do not try this at home.

The Boy's First Homecoming

I can't believe he's only 15. Is he not a total stud? Hope you had a blast Bill & Chloe!

Evil Bert

OK, I'm sorry, but this is AWESOME. "Evil Bert" is the funniest video I've seen in a LONG time.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, when I was checking broken links on my blog, I found this video was no longer available. They scrub everything that is any good. OMG this MEME was so damn funny. At least I salvaged a picture. Try to search for it, maybe you can find it somewhere.

This is why I love my job.

Occasionally my coworkers bring me all the supplies I need for cocktails. Here we see Wild Turkey and Coke in the convenient airplane bottle sizes. They also bought me a VIBRATING chair. Yes, I KNOW. See the cute little controller? It's how they get me to work overtime on salary. OOOH, the vibrating. Aren't you jealous?

What have they done?

There is a petition you can sign to bring back "Planter's Cheez Balls". Please help me. I'm lost without them. Thank you.

It's Fall!

Fall is my favorite season. It has the best weather, the best food, the best colors and two fun holidays, if you consider my birthday a holiday. Which you should.

The Best Weather: Crisp, cool, sunny days (like today), and good storms. I also like DARK. I may be alone on this, but I like the whole daylight-saving thing that makes it dark when I go to work and dark when I come home. Too much light on me is not a good thing, you see. I don't know why I like it; I just do. Its creepy. Sue me.

The Best Food: Pumpkin lattes, Halloween candy, turkey and all the trimmings. Need I say more?

The Best Colors: My entire house is done in Autumn colors, and most of my clothes. Muted greens, oranges, reds, yellows and purples. One of my favorite crayons was burnt sienna, which is a fall color.

Holidays and other fun: Thanksgiving rocks because it is a 'food' holiday. All you do is eat. My kind of day. Halloween is the perfect excuse to be myself, and again, eat. My birthday, self-explanatory. It is going to be good this year because it sucked last year. That is how it works.

You also have the beginning of the Christmas season, and remember Fall doesn't end until late December. You have the stores playing Christmas music and decorations everywhere and possibly a snow event or two. I love snow, I just hate it when I have to go to work in it and deal with idiots in traffic. It's also the beginning of ski season! One of these days I'll get my butt back up there.

So, there you have it, my very positive and upbeat post for today. Don't FALL over, HA!

Things going on with me lately.

1. I totally don't feel like blogging.

2. I've been craving apple juice and grape juice and drinking large quantities of them. These are not usual beverages for me.

3. I wore a sweatshirt-coat today. First time in many months. I'm cold. Highly unusual for a person who has her bedroom air conditioning on 365 days a year. (I'm not sick that I know of and I'm not pregnant.)

4. I'm having trouble sleeping again. Last night I got up at 3 am and started milling about. I accidentally woke up Jim and this was the conversation:

Jim: What the hell are you doing?
Me: Drinking grape juice.
Jim: At 3 am?
Me: Yeah.
Jim: What is wrong with you?
Me: I don't know.
Jim: Are you OK?
Me: Yeah, I guess.
Jim: (continues to look at me strangely for several minutes) Are you SURE? You are acting very strange and sneaky.

5. I am pissed off at a company that illegally billed my debit card for product I did not order. I am filing charges. I am really eloquent like Erin Brockovich when I deal with customer service on the phone, too. Especially when I've been on hold for 20 minutes.

Sexy Peppers

No, I am not dead. Yet. Ha. There has been nothing of note to post lately and I barely have material today. It will be boring, I assure you. This weekend my parents took us out for a belated happy Anniversary dinner to "Mi Tierra Mexican Restaurant", which has the best steak fajitas on the planet. They put an addictive chemical in them, I SWEAR. I'm salivating just thinking about it now. I paired my fajitas nicely with Sangria.

The weather has been beautiful this weekend, and after dinner we stopped by a local vegetable and fruit stand by our house out in the boonies. I grabbed an assload of stuff, I just can't help myself in those places. I was also mesmerized by some pepper plants because they were labeled "Sexy Peppers". Who can resist that kind of marketing? Jim pulled out some cash he had in his pocket to get it for me (what a sweetie!) and the owner lady threw in a jalapeño plant! Score! I took some pics of all the pretty peppers that I now have in back yard and don't know where to put. Thrilling, I know, but it's all I've got.

Sunday has been watch-football-all-day since Jim opted for the "Sunday Ticket" with our switch over to satellite. He is in heaven. I cut up all my fresh veges and fruits and have been snacking on them all day with turkey slices, cheese and crackers. I also took pics of that. That is the weekend wrap-up, folks.

I need your recipes.

OK! I'll write in my blog. But really, what I want, is for YOU guys to help me!

Here is what I'm doing. I want each of my readers (all 3 of you) to post one of your favorite recipes for me. You can do it in the comments section, or on your blog, I don't care, but I'm desperately wanting to cook some stuff and am really sick of my own recipes and recipe books. PLEASE, with sugar on top! I really want to hear from EVERYONE, seriously, don't even attempt to tell me you can't cook, just send me a damn recipe. That means YOU Annie, Broke and Angry, Hole, and especially OTTER who I KNOW has about 6 million recipes I probably want. I'm hungry! Get to it!

BTW, it is my 13-year anniversary today. Happy day to us!

I stole this from Juice.

1. Who is your man? Jim

2. How long have you been together? 14 Years

3. How long dated? 8 Months

4. How old is your man? He’ll be 40 soon.

5. Who eats more? We are both pigs.

6. Who said "I love you" first? Jim. I wouldn’t say it back right away, either. I had saying “I love you” issues.

7. Who is taller? Jim.

8. Who sings better? Jim.

9. Who is smarter? It’s a tie. He knows shit like history and how to work the remote, and I can do long division and algebra.

10. Who's temper is worse? We both have anger issues.

11. Who does the laundry? Both of us, but he says I do it wrong.

12. Who does the dishes? Both of us, but if you were to ask him, HE ALWAYS does them, and I suck.

13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I have taken over the entire bed. Jim falls asleep in his recliner a lot.

14. Who pays the bills? Me. Jim cannot be trusted with money.

15. Who has bigger feet? Jim. My feet are freakishly small.

16. Who has longer hair? Me. Jim has no hair.

17. Who is better with the computer? Me.

18. Who mows the lawn? Jim. I do not do yardwork. Period.

19. Who cooks dinner? Me, most of the time.

20. Who drives when you are together? Mostly Jim.

21. Who pays when you go out? We’re married. Who gives a shit.

22. Who is most stubborn? Another tie.

23. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Depends on who is wrong.

24. Whose parents do you see the most? I think we see them equally as little.

25. Who kissed who first? Jim kissed me first in the Denny’s parking lot after class at the Police Academy. Romantic, I know. Actually, he tried to kiss me IN Denny’s, but I was all like “OMG, not in Denny’s.”

26. Who asked who out? Jim wouldn’t shut up until I said yes. I had a boyfriend at the time. I finally gave in. What a slut I am. LOL.

27. Who proposed? He did.

28. Who is more sensitive? Jim.

29. Who has more friends? Neither of us has many friends. Please be my friend.

30. Who has more siblings? We are both only children.

31. Who wears the pants in the family? Jim. I like being naked. I control everything, though.

Up and Running After Hell Week

I am finally starting to settle down. Not only did I not have internet for a week at home, I was without cable AND I worked, like, 65 hours or something crazy like that. My job demanded my soul last week, and apparently, I gave it to them. I think I worked 28 hours in two days. Not having access to the World Wide Web almost killed me, though, and I didn't have time to surf at work either due to the screaming and running around frantic. It is amazing I wasn't rocking back and forth in the corner.

ANYWAY, I have a very pretty new satellite dish and a new faster internet. Comcast can go fuck themselves. We also made our milestone at work and shipped surgical implants to Romania on time. Yippee! Being on salary sucks because I received no overtime last week, but I'm going to make it up by totally slacking off this week and leave early on Monday and Tuesday. All in all, I am a bit weary and have slept most of the weekend away, but all is normal again in CrazyDogMama land. So, forgive me for the lack of updates, K?

Here is a picture of Louie rolling, because he can, and he doesn't have to worry about stuff like wireless modem routers and HD DVR receivers.

I'm being forced to do this MEME.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 and write what it says. "Initial Implant Design: 16 wks." Exciting, I know.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? A Kleenex Box. More excitement.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? A rerun of 'Everybody Loves Raymond'.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is. 10:45 am.

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 10:47 am. I know, because I'm hungry.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? The voices in my head.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Walking from my truck to the door at work.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? Some old photographs I have on my computer.

9. Did you dream last night? Yes.

10. When did you last laugh? Yesterday?

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in? My diploma from the UW and a 2007 calendar.

12. Seen anything weird lately? Yes. I saw one of those Jesus Fish emblems that people put on their cars, and inside the fish it said "N' Chips".

13. What do you think of this quiz? Whatever.

14. What is the last film you saw? 'Premonition'. It was very sad.

15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? I'd pay off all my bills and go to Disneyland. But that's just the first day.

16. Tell me something about you that I don’t know? When I was cooking turkey burgers last night, the paper that separates the patties was still stuck to the bottom of the one I made for Jim. He ate some of it. Oops.

17. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you do? I have no idea.

18. Comment to President Bush No comment at this time. Sorry folks, I don't get political on my blog.

19. Would you ever consider living abroad? Depends.

20. What do you want God to say to you when you get to heaven? You made it!

21. Name 4 people who must also do this quiz on their blog. I don't know 4 people who would do it who haven't already done it. If you are reading this and want to do it, do it. and let me know.

8 More Things

You want nice? From ME? Normally I would just tell anyone who says I'm too "negative" to fuck off and die, BUT I just drank an iced mocha so I'm feeling cooperative and, well, maybe a little cheeky. It was requested I re-do my "8 Things" post with "nice" things.

I used to post all of my info on earthquakes and the coming nuclear meltdown we are going to experience, but I stopped doing that because people just want nice. Although I can understand this (sort of), this isn't my personality. If I started talking about the wonderfulness that is my life, those close to me would conduct an intervention to get me off the crack. I'm just not a glass-is-half-full kind of girl. I'm the girl who looks at the glass and says, "hmm, not only is that glass 1/2 gone, but will it be enough to sustain me in a total martial law lockdown?" Yeah. Nice is boring to me. It's not that I don't think I'm blessed. I KNOW I am. I live in the greatest country in the world, I have a nice home, I have a loyal and romantic husband with a great sense of humor, I have 2 cute fuzballs and great job. I thank God every night for what I have. Do I have problems? Well, DUH. of course. Many things in the USA are totally fucked up, you did read about the baby who got punched in the stomach to death by its father the other day, right? You know we are at war, right? I have almost LOST my nice home more times than I care to count, and I'm about the most financially unstable person I know. My husband can be a complete dick from the word 'go' on certain occasions, and don't even get me started on the two little fuzzy fuckers I own and where they pee and poop and who they try to bite. My job? Yeah, it's awesome, but don't think I don't have days where I want to jam a pen into my eye, or my co-worker's eye.

So, what I'm trying to say is that there are good things, and there are bad things. I haven't been sent to the looney bin yet, and I haven't gone postal, so I MUST be somewhat happy. Right? Right. Yes, I am. Just for the sake of argument though, and to satisfy some of my loyal readers, I will post 8 nice things. Just for you. Nobody faint, K?

1. We BBQ'd some exceptionally tasty food last night, and I brought some of the leftovers to work for lunch. It was so good; I'm thinking about eating right now at 9:07 am.

2. The camera we just bought (or should I say went into hock for) was a "surprise" happy Thursday gift from my hubby (who, yes, IS quite handsome) just because he loves me. He knows I'm not a diamond girl, he gets me toys!

3. My boss came to me at noon last Friday and said this, "You have been working so hard, why don't you start your weekend early and go and enjoy the sun the rest of the day!" I wanted to kiss him and hug him.

4. I will be celebrating 13 years of marriage on August 27th.

5. The other day one of my co-workers, who is also my friend, told me that she is so glad we met and really enjoys having someone to "rant" with about life, and to workout with and have lunch with. She is a total sweetheart, and our lives are so similar it is crazy. She doesn't judge me, nor do I her, we just enjoy each other's company and appreciate the complete honesty we feel comfortable sharing. We believe the same things religion-wise, so we are always on the same page about things, and it is so great!

6. Nothing bounced in my bank account today. Hooray!

7. I have NO PLANS for this weekend and I'm so happy about it! I think I will stay in my PJ's and veg-out in front of the TV, and sleep, and eat and generally slack off. Life is good!

8. I have a mini vacation coming up at the end of August. Just a week off, but I love time off to do nothing or whatever I want.

There! Happy?

8 Things

Colleen tagged me and I don't even really get what the tag is except that I have to write about 8 things. So, whatever, here goes.

1. I went on a grandma hike on Saturday and the grandmas were passing my out-of-shape ass. Sad. I did take some pics, though, that I will bestow on you after my 8 things.

2. I cleaned my stove today. I'm way too fucking exciting, I know.

3. My phone battery only lasts for a day before I have to recharge it again. This pisses me off because it is ALWAYS beeping at me for low batteries. Is it just me?

4. I haven't wanted to blog lately, been in a mega-funk. I need some motivation, people. Help me now.

5. Jim's truck died. I don't mean it broke down, I mean it DIED. DEAD. KAPUT. The diagnostic said this: Transmission gone. Clutch gone. Brakes gone. Fuel pump gone. Tires bald. Electrical system gone. So, we have a new truck. Well, not a new truck, but you know, we couldn't afford to pay for repairs to the old one, so we just bought one that worked. Its a 2004 F150. Its pretty (I'm sorry Jim, I mean it's bad ass) but I'm freaked because we are poor and vehicle payments scare me. Again, help me now. Oh, and Jim actually put a stepping stool in the truck so I can get into it. Seriously, I jumped to get in it and fell back out.

6. I have a headache in my eye.

7. It's midnight on Sunday and I'm not tired. Damn it!

8. Lou-dog is snoring and farting at the same time right now. Much like Jim. I'm a lucky girl.

How is that for 8 things? We went day-tripping at Deception Falls and here is what we saw:

Backyard BBQ

It's get-even time with the pictures ANNIE.

Um, well, we had a BBQ yesterday at our abode with our good friends Matt n' Annie (Juice) and Amy. I am hung over as I type, so don't expect some intellectual shit, ok? Annie posted some, um, interesting pics of the evening, so I thought I would share as well.

#1 The gang all normal at around 6 pm enjoying some wine and appetizers. Matt was tending to little baby Ben, who is UBER cute and such a good baby! We were the loud obnoxious ones; the kid was quiet and happy.

#2 The girls with just a little bit more wine.

#3 A lot more wine. Amy and Annie singing along to the 'Grease' soundtrack.

#4 Matt and Juice at the end of the evening.