Jack-a-Ritas

Instead of champagne, I decided on Friday night margaritas. Yeah, baby! So, I go to the liquor store on the way home to get some tequila. For some reason I grab a bottle of Jack Daniels, then a lime at the register. Don't ask, because I just don't know. I then tell the cashier that I've been promoted and I'm going to have some margarita fun, again, don't ask. He smiles, looks at the Jack Daniels and the lime, then back up at me and says, "Congratulations." I skip out the door, and about 1/2 way home I realize that I am a gigantic retard. Jack-a-ritas? Oops. When I get home and tell Jim what I did, he laughs and offers to go exchange the Jack for Jose. Derr. In a big way. The guy at the liquor store must be thinking, "What the hell did she get promoted to, executive ditch digging?" Anyway, Mr. Cuervo and I are having a nice love affair tonight. I may be puking later.

Good News!

I just got a big promotion at work! It includes many more dollars! Wheee! I am so excited.

Oh, and by the way, I know I haven't been posting regularly, but if I don't start getting more than 2 readers a day, I'm shutting down this show. So, tell your friends and family to read. Now, shoo, because I hear a bottle of champagne calling my name.

The traffic guy is NOT my friend, but Cherry NyQuil IS.

So, not only have I been surviving on Cherry NyQuil for the past 7 days, but the radio traffic guy totally dis'd me. Yes, that's right. Let me share this special story with you.

We had a few days of hard rain, and that always means some sort of flooding in the rural area I live in. The other morning on the way to work, I ran into some crazy dead-stopped traffic. After an hour and a half of wanting to bash my head into my steering wheel, I found out that one of the bridges on my commute was closed due to flooding, and traffic was being re-routed and that was why it was so backed up. I got to work really late and hacking my head off because my NyQuil was wearing off. The next day was the same traffic mess, but I left a little early to try and avoid some of it. I was listening to my favorite talk radio station and the traffic report came on. The traffic guy said that some people had called in and were wondering why traffic was so bad in this area, and he responded that he had no idea and hadn't heard anything but would look into it. I knew! I knew and the traffic guy didn't! I don't know why this excited me, but I decided to be a good citizen and call the radio station so that my co-commuters would understand why they were frustrated and stressed. I'm just that kind of gal. The radio guy answered, and I explained the situation. He was very appreciative for my call and said he would relay the info to the traffic guy. He even asked my name so that I could get full credit. I told him.

All proud of myself, I turned the radio back on and awaited the next traffic update. Sure enough, the first thing he said was "We have received an answer to the traffic problems in blah-blah area from our nice caller Cheryl". He went on telling the whole Seattle area exactly what I told him and kept thanking Cheryl for the information. Wow! I felt like a celebrity! But, oh no, no, that 15 minutes of fame would not last. They give the traffic update every 10 minutes, and of course since I wanted to keep hearing my name on the radio, I kept listening. In the very next update, the dude says this, "Well, we took the chopper over blah-blah bridge, and it appears to be open, and traffic is flowing nicely, so I'm not sure what was going on there, but there really is no problem so never mind that last report." WHAT THE FUCK?

I had JUST passed two big orange signs that said the bridge was closed, and I was still stuck in traffic! Oh, wait a minute.

There goes a D.O.T. worker and he is TAKING THE SIGN DOWN. It was a total conspiracy against me. They opened the bridge not 5 minutes after I called. NO! I look like a fool! An idiot! A prank caller! But I was just trying to help!

I wanted to call back and tell them I wasn't crazy, but then I started thinking that they probably have caller ID and would yell at me or not let me call anymore, or report me as a stalker or something, so I didn't. I just sat there. I cussed out my radio and turned it off. That'll show 'em! I won't listen to them for the whole rest of the day! Screw the radio! Screw the commuters! Screw everybody! I told Jim about my public embarrassment, but he just laughed at me. A lot. Then it hit me. I need to get a life.

My throat is KILLING ME.

I can barely swallow. I've been super sick since Thursday night. My throat hurts so bad right now that I can't sleep, and now it's 2:30 in the morning. Everybody is snoring and I'm walking around whining and bitching and no one can hear me! Bah! I just ate some ice cream, and although it tasted great, it didn't help my throat much. I'm going to go try and find something to watch on T., but my hopes are not high. This blows.

Who are you?

OMG, I'm sick of these, but I was tagged, so whatever. I erased the repeats and stuff I've answered before.

Who are you? CrazyDogMama!

1) First of all, how old are you? 35.
2) Do you believe in reincarnation? Nope.
3) If you found out your best friend was gay/lesbian, what would you do? Nothing.
4) Do you consider yourself a good listener? Sure.
5) Would you rather be short or tall? Short
6) Would you consider your relationship with your parents bad, okay, good? Good, but could be better.
7) Do you like to dance? Only when I am by myself.
8) Are you shy to ask someone out? I have never asked anyone out, the guy had to ask. It's old fashioned, not shyness.
9) Do you like to talk on the phone? Not really. I like to talk to my husband on my way home from work, though.
10) Would you rather go on a walk or watch tv? TV
11) Do you think boys or girls have it easier? Guys.
12) If you had a round-trip ride in any time machine, where would you go? To my early 20's.
13) If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Spy on people.
14) Do you like Adidas, Nike, Fila, or Reebok [or any other brand]? I guess I like Nike.
15) If you could change your name, what would it be? My name is fine.
16) If you were in a theater and someone was crying, would you laugh? No, that's mean.
17) What's the hardest thing about growing up? Marriage
18) What little unknown talents do you possess? I'm not telling.
19) Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000? No.
20) If this Saturday, you could do ANYTHING you wanted, what would you do? Go to Disneyland.
21) What's the worst word(s) you know? I don't know, but I'm sure I use them every day.
22) Have you ever wanted to run away? Daily.
23) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No, unless my dogs count. They are stuffed full of food, poo, pee and mischief.
24) If you were stranded on a deserted island with one person, who would it be? Superman.
25) What is your favorite gum? Cinnamon.
26) How do you eat an Oreo? Dip in milk, shove in mouth.
27) Do you eat chicken fingers with a fork? I do not eat chicken fingers.
28) Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yes.
29) If you could do anything to the person you hated most what would it be? I don't hate anyone.

DOB: 11-12-71
Sex: Female
Height : 5'4"
Hair Color: Blonde-brown
Eye Color: blue
Location: Sultan, WA
School: Bachelor of Arts UW
Pets: 2 dogs and a husband
Dream Job: Photographer
Fav Subject: Art
Fav Sport: Gymnastics
Least Fav: Basketball
Fave Month: November
Fav Toothpaste: Mentadent

All is well in the dog food department.

I have received mail from concerned folks about the pet food recall going on, and if Lou and Mags were OK. They are great, I buy "Natural Balance" dog food. I tried to switch them to cheaper food awhile back, but they wouldn't have it. I'm so glad! If I had been feeding them the recall food, I would be in full-on panic mode right now.

I know I suck, you don't have to tell me.

I have no excuse for not blogging, I just haven't wanted to lately. BUT, because I love you all so much, I'll blog just for you today. Last Friday my company left early at 1pm to go bowling for a little corporate competition. It was a hoot, especially the open bar part. Double rum and coke and double margarita on the rocks if you must know. I got high girl's score at 151! I didn't know I had it in me. After that (with the alcohol in me), Jim and I went to dinner at his ex-wife's house. I KNOW. We were there to discuss how to discipline the kid who has been getting in trouble lately. It went fine, nothing really juicy to report.

Then, all day Saturday and Sunday, we cleaned. We dusted, vacuumed, did laundry & dishes and generally were a very boring married couple. And you wonder why I haven't been blogging? Blah. Nothing exciting happening. That is all. That is all I can think of to write. I'm eating a banana right now, I'm tired, and really nothing to say.

These are the lies.

#2 - I never had to draw my gun as a cop.
#6 - I started smoking when I was 19, not 17.
#8 - I've only driven up to 90 mph.
#10 - I've only been in one fight. It was with a girl named Shara in Jr. High. I kicked her ass.

I guess the skydiving thing is kind of iffy. My knees are shot and I'm too fat, but I guess if I were totally fit and trim and someone else paid for it, I MIGHT, and I say MIGHT do it again. Probably not, though, I'm getting old. My hay-day is over, I'm afraid. It was great fun, though, when I did it, and I have some amazing pics. I jumped 7 times.

Slacker

I know I've been a total slacker, I just haven't been in the blogging mood. You know what I mean? I've been in the "don't-get-up-from-the-couch-unless-you-have-to" kind of mood.

It snowed again last week, and we got 9 inches. It melted the next day, but still. It is supposed to be 60 degrees tomorrow. The wackiness continues. Everyone has been sick at work, one by one, so the work has been piling up, and lo and behold I'm actually trying to change my eating habits AGAIN. I'm trying to do BFL-style eating, but really small portions every two hours or so. For me, this means being constantly hungry for about two weeks (until I get used to it) even though I'm constantly eating. Having a half of a sandwich just makes my stomach angry. It's all like, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Anyway, I got tagged to do this stupid lie detector thingy. I am supposed to list off a bunch of things about myself and you are supposed to determine whether or not each item is true or false. So here goes, I guess.

1. I once vomited creamed corn all over the dinner table because my mom forced me to eat it.

2. I drew my gun only once when I was a cop.

3. My hair turned naturally curly overnight when I was 24.

4. I won't eat meatloaf.

5. I have had premonition dreams.

6. I started smoking when I was 17.

7. I threw a paper airplane at a corvette when I was young, and the guy slammed on his brakes and ran after me screaming obscenities.

8. I have driven a car at over 100mph.

9. I will never jump out of an airplane again, voluntarily.

10. I've been in many fights.

Let me hear those guesses people, which ones are false?

Shows

First, I woke up this morning thinking it was Thursday. After wanting to cry NOOO when I found out it's not, instead I accidentally ripped the drawstring out of my pants, never to return. EVER. Have you ever re-threaded a drawstring? Yeah, I didn't think so. There will be no comments about me wearing pants to work that have a drawstring. NONE.

Second, I never write about the shows I watch and I'm going to do that today. One of my favorite new shows is "The Class". I wasn't sure I was going to like it, but it's really growing on me. Richie Velch (the nerdy character who is dating Lina) absolutely slays me. I'm also sort of liking "Rules of Engagement", but mainly because "Putty" from Seinfeld is in it and he makes me giggle just looking at his squinty little eyes. "Medium" entertains me, and I still love "Jericho", even though I think people would be running around pulling their hair out and feeding on the dead by now in real life. "Heroes" is cool, but I'm getting impatient with it, and of course "Two and a Half Men" is still good. I hate to admit that I'm getting a little bored with "Earl" and "How I Met Your Mother". Oh, and how could I forget, I love "Men in Trees". I know it's a chick-y soap opera, but I don't care. At least I don't watch reality shows. Ha! That's it, that is all I watch.

Happy F-ing V-Day

I don't really celebrate Valentines because something bad happened to me a long time ago on this day, but from the sounds of it, there are lots of you out there that think this Hallmark Holiday is a pooper. When working in the restaurant business for such a long time, it never failed to amaze me how much people will spend on an overrated dinner and flowers. It is wall to wall people and noise, and it's funny how no one ever really looks that happy. Occasionally you'll see two newlyweds or new lovers or something holding hands over the table and gazing into each other's eyes, but rarely, and they are truly annoying anyway.

My hubby bought me Captain Crunch WITH crunch berries. Now THAT'S romantic. I had a gigantic bowl of it this morning.

I was blind, now I see.

I have new glasses. I am a total and complete nerd now. They are RED. Like Blood. As you can see. Also, they have bling! I didn't see the bling when I picked them out, but here I am.

NEVER ask, "What are those MEME thingees?"

I was suckered. There are SO MANY QUESTIONS, it's like an interrogation! Kill me now.

1. Height? 5'4" Does anyone really care?
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No. You can smoke heroin?
3. Do you own a gun? Yes
4. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No
5. What do you think of hot dogs? Yum
6. What's your favorite Christmas song? Carol of the Bells
7. Can you do pushups? Yes
8. Is your bathroom clean? Not at the moment.
9. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Anniversary ring.
10. Do you like painkillers? Love them.
11. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Boobs.
12. Do you have A.D.D.? No
13. Middle Name? Lyn
14. Name 3 thoughts at this moment? I'm hungry, I want to go home, Mongolian Grill sounds good.
15. Name the last 3 things you have bought? Mocha, cigarettes, gas.
16. Current worry? Bills.
17. Current hate? My stomach.
18. Favorite place to be? In water.
19. How did you bring in the New Year? Taking pictures at home.
20. Where would you like to go? Bora Bora.
21. Do you own slippers? Yes.
22. What shirt are you wearing? Maroon shirt.
23. Do you burn or tan? Tan.
24. Favorite color(s)? Red & purple.
25. Would you be a pirate? Are you asking? OK.
26. What songs do you sing in the shower? Sweet Child o' Mine by Guns and Roses.
27. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Monsters, specifically mutated bears.
28. Best bed sheets as a child? Fresh out of the dryer.
29. Worst injury you've ever had? Kidney stones.
30. How many TVs do you have in your house? Four.
31. Who is your loudest friend? Marianne.
32. Who is your most silent friend? Jenny.
33. Does someone have a crush on you? I doubt it.
34. Do u wish on shooting stars? Nope.
35. What is your favorite book? Watchers by Dean Koontz.
36. What is your favorite candy? Reses Peanut Butter Cups.
37. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? I don't think there was music.
38. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night? Trying to sleep.
39. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Fuck, I have to get up.
40. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? Can’t say that I have.
41. What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you've dated? 7 years
42. Ever been in a car wreck? I’ve hit 3 deer and a dog, does that count?
43. Were you popular in high school? I don’t think so, I don't know.
44. Have you ever been on a blind date? No.
45. Are looks important? Yeah, somewhat.
46. Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more? Of course.
47. By what age would you like to be married? Already married.
48. Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them? Sometimes.
49. Have you ever made a mistake? No, I’m perfect. Gimme a break.
50. Are you a good tipper? I’m really good, I was a waitress.
51. What's the most you have spent for a haircut? 60$ for a cut, much, much more for coloring.
52. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Not that I remember.
53. Have you ever peed in public? Yes.
54. What song do you want played at your funeral? No funeral for me, just cremate me and go party.
55. What would your last meal be before getting executed? Pizza, warm chocolate chips cookies.
56. Beatles or Stones? STONES.
57. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who? Only one?
58. Beer, wine or hard liquor? Liquor.
59. Do you have any phobias? Claustrophobia and Arachnophobia.
60. What are your plans for the future? I don’t know.
61. Do you walk around the house naked? All the time.
62. If you were an animal, what would you be? Wolf.
63. Hair color you like on someone you're dating? Anything but red.
64. Would you rather be blind or deaf? Neither. But if I HAD to choose, I guess deaf.
65. Do you have any special talents? Yeah, baby.
66. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house? Release the hounds.
67. Do you like horror or comedy? Both, but horror is my favorite.
68. Are you missing anyone? No, I think everyone is here.
69. If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do? No idea, don't think like that.
70. Where do you want to live when you are old? Somewhere with a pool.
71. Who is the person you can count on the most? God.
72. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be? None.
73. What did you dream last night? That my parachute didn’t open correctly. I have dream issues.
74. Are you named after anyone? Some chick my mom went to school with, she liked her name.
75. Have you ever been arrested? No, but I’ve arrested people.
76. Would you ever get plastic surgery? Depends.
77. Have you ever caught a fish? Lots.
78. Family member you most resemble: My dad.
79. Do you own your own Bible? Several.
80. Do you clean up nice? Yeah, but sometimes I clean up mean.
81. When was the last time you tripped and fell? 30 minutes ago?
82. Where was the last place you slept besides your home? Parent’s house.
83. What are you listening to right now? Coworker chatter.
84. Have you ever started an uncontrollable fire? No, unless in the heart of my men counts, LOL!
85. Ever run out of gas on the road? No. Which is amazing.
86. What would you rather do, rake the leaves, or mow the lawn? I don’t do yard work.
87. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Pictures.
88. How many kids do you want? Zero.
89. Type of music you dislike most? Bubblegum Pop.
90. Are you registered to vote? Yes.
91. Do you have cable? Yes, that’s like asking if I have oxygen.
92. Ever prank call anybody? Sure.
93. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? I’ve been skydiving, I won’t be bungee jumping.
94. Do you have a garden? No, unless my little herb garden in my kitchen window counts.
95. What's your favorite comic strip? Calvin and Hobbs.
96. Bath or Shower? Shower with something to sit on.
97. Best pizza toppings? Pepperoni, green pepper, jalapeños and pineapple.
98. Popcorn or Peanuts? Peanuts.
99. Orange Juice or apple juice? Orange Juice.
100. Chocolate Bar? Yes, please.
101. When was the last time you ate a homegrown tomato? I don’t know.
102. Ever order anything from an infomercial? No.
103. Sprite or 7-Up? Sprite.
104. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work/school? Yes, work.
105. Ever thrown up in public? Yup.
106. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? When I was 12, true love, now? Money.
107. Believe in love at first sight? Not really.
108. What do you think about most? Damn bills.
109. Favorite form of travel? Private jet.
110. Something purple within 5 feet of you: Writing on my wall calendar.
111. The sexiest item of clothing you own: See-through thong underwear that I never wear.
112. Is your hair long enough to chew on? Yes.
113. Least favorite color? Yellow.
114. Ever have Dippin' Dots? No.
115. Ever play an instrument? Piano.
116. Ever been to a palm reader? No.
117. Last Pez dispenser you purchased? Don’t like Pez.
118. Did you have a good weekend? It was OK.
119. How is today going for you? So-so.

120. Any plans for tonight? TV.
121. Ever given someone a full-body oil massage? I’ve given a partial body oil massage.
122. What shampoo do you use? Aveda Sap Moss.

OMG, I'm finally done.

Body Parts and Recipes

That sounds wrong, doesn't it? HA!

Anyways, I have a tattoo. It is fading, but I have one. I got it right before I got married 13+ years ago, and my mom saw it for the first time while I was trying on wedding dresses. It didn't go well. (Hi, Mom!) She has since gotten over it, but I wanted to show the internet my blasphemy.

It is very difficult to photograph an ankle tattoo with your cell phone, let me just tell you. It is a rose piercing a heart, and "Jim" in cursive. I had it designed, so it is an original. Jim got one for me, too. It is a huge bouquet of roses with a "Cheryl" banner across the stems.

I also took a picture of my tongue. I have no idea why. OK! Now, aren't you hungry? Recipes have been requested from me for the former food pics. I am seriously lazy, so I will only do one right now.

Gorgonzola Pasta (serves 3-4)

1. Boil 1 package of penne pasta until al dente, sprinkling a bit of salt in the water.

2. You can either grill your own chicken breasts (2), or you can be lazy like me and buy the pre-grilled ones, and just warm them up and cut them up into bite sized pieces.

3. In a separate pan, sauté 1 tablespoon of minced garlic with a little bit of olive oil until it browns.

4. Add 1 cup of heavy whipping cream, 1/4 cup of white wine, and 1 Boullion cube (mixed with a little bit of hot water) to the browned garlic and reduce (simmer) for about 10-15 minutes. Once you start to see it boil just a little, reduce heat a tad, and add 1/2 cup of crumbled gorgonzola cheese, and grated parmesan to taste. Add some red pepper flakes and cracked pepper to taste. Simmer for another 6-7 minutes until everything is thoroughly blended and thickened up. Add the grilled chicken and stir.

5. Add a little butter (real butter) to the pasta once it is drained and stir. Dump the pasta in the sauté pan and toss with the sauce for a minute or so. Serve the pasta on a plate (not a bowl) and sprinkle chopped hazelnuts and parsley on top. YUMMY.

NOTE: Buy the best quality you can of the cheeses, it does make a difference.

All of the things I cook are simple stupid to make. I am not a chef by any means. I got most of my ideas from working in upscale restaurants for 17 years. Bon Appetite!

Why I don't lose weight.

I love to cook. I love to eat. End of story. Here are a few of my recent dishes. I've been in a gourmet mood lately and the husband is loving it. He does think I'm certifiable though, for taking pictures of my food. Who needs those stinking expensive restaurants!

#1 This is a CrazyDogMama favorite. Penne pasta with chicken in a gorgonzola cream sauce topped with diced hazelnuts and parsley.

#2 Crab cakes in a vodka tomato cream sauce accompanied by a small tenderloin steak and baked golden potato with chives, bacon and sour cream. Yeah, no calories in this dish.

#3 Stuffed pork tenderloin in a red wine demiglace. Super yummy.

#4 Alcoholic dessert anyone? This is a German spiced wine, pretty cheap, but a 10 on the yum-yum scale. Just heat on the stove and serve with a cinnamon stick. (That's Louie in the background, he motors around the kitchen when I'm cooking.)

#5 The wine in a pretty cup.

OK, enough with the white shit already.

I am looking painfully out of my work window at the big-ass snowflakes falling on the already frozen snow. It is not that bad here (yet), but we still have a good 6 to 8 inches where I live, and I can just imagine how my commute home is going to go. *Sigh* I love the snow when I can romp and play in it, but a 6-hour commute with idiot drivers isn't my idea of a good time.

Only going to get just a few inches MY ASS!

Yeah, we got like a little over a FOOT of snow. It is 11 pm and I just got home from WORK. Bah! The snow is fun now that I can torture the dogs in it, but driving in it, SUCKS ASS.

Cracking Skulls

We had quite the little scare with the teenager a couple of days before Christmas. My stepson decided that jumping onto a moving car would be a hoot. Not so much. His friends and him were goofing around and he jumped onto the trunk of his buddies' car, just as it was about to be gunned forward. My stepson smacked his head on the pavement (literally). He actually cracked his skull and was bleeding out of his eardrum. His friends rushed him to the hospital, and my husband and I were the ones his friends decided to notify first. We flew out of the house and when we got there, they had him in a neck brace. Talk about having a panic attack!

It turned out that the neck brace was just a precaution, but they did do X-rays and later an MRI and a CTI Scan. They said he would be fine, but then the next day he started developing this weird face-thing. His eyes did not blink at the same time, and his smile was crooked. Face paralysis. GREAT. After seeing a specialist, they told us he got really lucky. He will be fine. Thank God. Here is a funny part, he was wearing a T-shirt that said "I do my own stunts" the day of the accident. It was a little comical seeing it all bloodstained in the hospital.

Here is a picture of the delinquents. Bill (my stepson) is the one in the back in white. They are all in drama club together.

First Christmas Present.

The first present I opened, need I say more? Diablo will be proud of me. We chatted a few times on her website before she was a superstar. A real sweetheart.

Happy Mode

I am finally in the Christmas spirit. It took a while with all the stress in my personal life, but today I just realized how very blessed I am. I have some of the best friends a person could ever ask for, and I'm sitting in my little cozy home (that we have come close to losing so many times) having a little spiked eggnog, complete with fuzzy appendages attached to my hip. (Louie and Maggie, the furbutts.) A lot has happened this year, both bad and good, but in reflection I can say that everything has come to such a peaceful end for me in 2006. Sure, there are still the stresses of finances and work and the like, but I know in my heart everything is going to be OK. I give the credit to God for that. For the families out there who are struggling, or for the soldiers who are at war, my thoughts and prayers are with you. 2007 is going to be a year of giving and helping for us, as we have received so much of that ourselves in this past year.

Pictures are a little fuzzy, but I wanted to take them without flash. Our pretty little tree looks great against my red wall! Sparklies!