CrazyDogMama

New Reads...CRAZY GOOD

2012-02-02T16:48:00.000-08:00

I love answering questions.

2012-02-02T16:28:00.000-08:00

1. Would you rather be an Olympic athlete or win American Idol?

Olympic athlete. The only thing I hate more than “American Idol” is “Desperate Housewives”.

2. If you could live in any US city, which would it be?

You know, I like right where I’m at! Although I’m sure once I start doing more traveling, I will fall in love with other US cities. I really want to go to New Orleans this year. I really enjoyed NY, but I wouldn't want to live there more than a year.

3. What was the first blog you ever read?

Skwigg!

4. What was your favorite CD in 7th grade?

They did not have CD’s when I was in the 7th grade. :-/

5. Mac or PC?

PC

6. Who was your first kiss?

Eric. I met him at church camp in 9th grade. He was a rocker with LONG hair. LOL

7. Sandwich or salad?

Sandwich. Big one.

8. Country music or rap?

Country

9. If you had no restraints (time, money, etc.), is there something different you would do with your life at this moment?

I would go adopt a bunch of dogs from rescue and hire someone to clean up poop and wash out crates.

10. Who was the last person you talked with on the phone?

Jenny. We are trying to figure out a way to go to Hawaii in April or May!

11. The last movie you saw in the theater?

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

12. Something you are ashamed of.

My last ping pong game at work. Maybe that's what's wrong with my wrist.

Innovation

2012-01-31T23:40:00.000-08:00

So apparently we don't have a lid for this pan. LOL. My mom, so clever.

Speaking of clever, I'm not so much. I got a call from Corporate today, and I spoke with a manager who asked me to take the lead on a project. OK, sure, no problem. They want me to reconfigure our entire change process to make it more efficient. Sure! Just let me start messing with the coding for our 3 million dollar software! Piece of cake! Holy fucking shit. Are you KIDDING me? I'm the one that crashes it weekly, don't they know? I knew there was going to be a catch to that atomic raise they gave me. Fuuuuck. Goodbye, life, nice knowing you.

Those damn birds again!

2012-01-29T04:00:00.000-08:00

The Kindle Fire rocks. However, don't let the $199 price tag fool you. After you buy the leather case, a new state-of-the-art router, start using the one touch "buy" button for apps, kindle books and other little goodies...your bank account is down roughly $500. Bah!

I had an awesome evening with fam & friends eating pizza, drinking lemon drop martini's and playing cards (Disney UNO - it has "evil" cards!!). My friend Lisa and I stayed up past everyone else watching 'Everybody Loves Raymond' reruns, then she fell asleep and I played the new Angry Birds 2012 seasons "Year of the Dragon" and OMG the next thing I knew it was 3 am. This did not help my wrist at all. (see post below.) I need the new ABA group therapy - Angry Birds Anonymous, where everyone sits arounds twitching in withdrawl making grunting hitler pig noises.

OUCH

2012-01-28T16:05:00.000-08:00

Leave it to me to injure myself. My wrist is unhappy. It hurts so bad I can hardly stand it. I don't even know for sure how I did it, and I don't know yet what is wrong with it. The doctor thinks I probably damaged a tendon, but it feels broken to me and ACHES. X-rays won't be ready until next week and they won't give me painkillers! (Time for a new doctor) I have to wear this damn thing for 4 weeks. I can't do any friggin' thing. Driving hurts. Sleeping hurts. Drinking a beverage hurts. Typing hurts. Changing channels on the remote hurts. You should see my hair.

Andy, my boss, yelled at me on Friday (he is so awesome, I love him) because I wouldn't go home. Before lunch he said "You need to go home and stop trying to type with a broken wrist. For God's sake you are typing with your body at a 35 degree angle because of that thing! I'm going to lunch. If you aren't gone by the time I get back...oh forget it, I know you'll still be here. I don't know why I bother..."(mumble, mumble, mumble and waving his hands in the air as he walks out the door...) An hour later he walks in back from lunch, sees me, shakes his head and says "Of course you are still here...", goes in his office and shuts the door. LOL

A spending spree for me! Because Christmas is over.

2012-01-24T17:18:00.000-08:00

I decided to purchase 13 items off of my Amazon wish list on a whim. I *LOVE* that I can do that! There are still 45 items being wished for on there, so I wasn't ridiculous about it or anything. Among those 13 items is a Kindle Fire, Black Gel Eyeliner, and a couple of Blu-Ray DVD's.

Black Gel Eyeliner...

...so I can do "cat eyes" like this!

New Kindle Fire! Funness!

DVD to add to my horror collection.

So weird, yet so awesome!

Old Days and Nowadays

2012-01-22T18:42:00.000-08:00

My mother bought a few old movies. I've never really enjoyed old movies before, and never took the time to watch any of them, but she insisted so I gave in. We just watched "Bell, Book and Candle" with James Stewart, Kim Novac and Jack Lemmon. OK, I admit it, I enjoyed it. Actors of old are a little dramatic, but it works.

But what really struck me was how romance was so different. I get so sick of watching movies where two people meet and they are in bed in 5 minutes, then it doesn't work out and they meet another, and then more sex in 5 minutes. It bugs me. I guess I don't belong in this era, huh? Everyone I know has given in to the current times, but seriously, if I slept with every guy I dated...well...GOOD GOD, GROSS! But being old fashioned gets you nowhere, let me tell you. I guess that is why I'm flying solo. Sex is great, don't get me wrong, but how it is thrown around so carelessly now just makes me ill. I can't tell you how many times I've met a guy and they would ask me how big my boobs are or how I felt about anal sex on the first frigging phone call. I mean, COME ON. Call me nutty, but I just hung up. But it's not just guys - if you won't do it, be assured there is a woman not 20 feet from you who will. I can't, or should I say won't, compete with that.

In the last two years of dating, I've met only one man who was sincerely respectful. Joe. I wish it would of worked out because he really was quite chivalrous, and I have to tell you that his behavior was more of a turn-on to me than anything else. Oh well. I'm off to watch another sappy old movie, 'The Ghost and Mrs. Muir'. LOL

Can you relate to # 11? I can relate to # 11.

2012-01-18T15:54:00.000-08:00

Alcatraz!

2012-01-17T11:58:00.000-08:00

"LOST" was the best series on Television, EVER. The same producers (J.J. Abrams' Bad Robot) have now come out with "Alcatraz" - which started last night, and it has Hurley in it! It was a 2-hour premier and I am totally hooked already. I recommend!

Hot damn, I done did good!!

2012-01-16T16:07:00.000-08:00

Here is where I get to brag a little about myself, which is rare.

Ever since I was promoted to management and relocated down to California by my company to be part of the build-out of our new plant in Seal Beach, my workload has been, well, INSANE. Not only has there been a ton to do, but it had to be done with impossible deadlines, minimal staff and with dead-on accuracy. It was a lot of pressure over a long span of time. Not only have I managed to double my salary in two years, but I just received special recognition AND reward by executive management for going above and beyond the call of duty.

When called into the Director's office, I was FLOORED at the reward and fumbled for words. I'm surprised I didn't burst out in tears. I really just wasn't expecting that. I've always kind of felt like this easily replaceable peon, but I was just told that our commercialization here could "not have been done without me". Well, I don't know about that, but I have to say it sure felt good to hear it! The Director kept saying things like "Yes, we DID notice all those late nights, weekends and holidays you worked, and yes we DID get personal feedback sent to us from many individuals from all the different sites saying how much they appreciated your help, flexibility and attitude. You are well liked and sought out over your counterparts."

I am kind of in a stupor about it. I should probably snap out of it and get to work before they take it all back. :-D

Motherly Advice

2012-01-13T00:52:00.000-08:00

It is ex-fucking-hausting having two goddamned mothers.

Biological (Bio) Mom: You need to call the doctor.
Godmother (not fairy): You really should call the doctor.
Bio Mom: Have you called the doctor yet?
Godmother: Call the doctor on your lunch break.
Bio Mom: Don't forget to call the doctor.
Godmother: Why haven't you called the doctor?
Bio Mom: You really need to tell the doctor you aren't taking those pills anymore.
Godmother: Let me know what the doctor says.
Bio Mom: When are you going to call the doctor?
Godmother: Did you get the link I sent you? Show it to the doctor.
Bio Mom: Why don't you schedule a Saturday appt.?
Bio Mom: You haven't called the doctor, HAVE YOU?!?

Me: Shut up! Both of you! The more ya'll bug me, the more I don't wanna call the doctor. Leave me ALONE.

Bio Mom (on the phone with Godmother): She just said the more we bug her, the longer she will take to call the doctor. She says she hates doctors - they don't help - they just tell her to lose more weight and quit smoking. I know! Well it's her fucking life if she wants to be that way.

Me to the blogosphere: Help me, please.

AMEN, Frank Kaiser!

2012-01-12T11:28:00.000-08:00

"One of the perks of dufferdom is an increased capacity to appreciate people. Friends. Spouses. And, for me, women. All women.

When I was 20, I had eyes only for girls my age. Any woman over 30 was ancient, over 40 invisible. Today, now in my 70s, I still appreciate the 20-year-old for her youthful looks, vigor, and (occasional) sweet innocence. But, I equally enjoy women of my own age and beyond, and every age in between. I've learned that each has its own special wonders, attractions, magic and beauty. As I grow in age, I value mature ladies most of all. Here are just a few of the reasons senior men sing the praises of older women:

-An older woman knows how to smile with such brightness and truth, old men stagger.

-An older woman will never ask out of the blue, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.

-An older woman has been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!

And yes, once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart!

-Her libido's stronger.

-Her fear of pregnancy's gone.

-Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.

-And she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)

-Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn't give a damn.

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“If the Lord made anything better than a woman, He kept it for Himself.” — Jerry Lee Lewis

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-An older, single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "long-term commitments." Can't relate? Can't commit? She could care less. The last thing she needs in her life is another whiny, dependent lover!

-Older women are sublime. They seldom contemplate having a shouting match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive dinner. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

-Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They're generous with praise, often undeserved.

-An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman often snarls with distrust when "her guy" is with other women. Older women couldn't care less.

-Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. Like your mother, they always know.

Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons. These are but a few. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 75 there's a bald, paunchy relic with his yellow pants belted at his armpits making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize for my fellow geezers. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to enjoy and appreciate the exquisite woman you've become. Without the distraction of some demanding old coot clinging and whining his way into your serenity."

-Frank Kaiser

Books and Big Rings

2012-01-09T12:15:00.000-08:00

After finishing "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" in 3 days, I am now on a reading kick. I like the escape into other people's messed up lives; rather than dwelling on my own. Here is the current lineup:

The second book in the series...a given that it will be awesome.

This one caught my eye at Costco on Saturday -- a woman who has isolated herself, and also there are dogs in it. Perfect. Can't go wrong with that, and it gets high reviews to boot.

I get a bazillion magazines and catalogs in the mail because my preferred shopping method is online. (Shopping is way better while done in jammies, coffee in hand and dogs at feet. No getting dressed, no driving and no getting annoyed with crowds.) I saw this (real) sapphire ring and decided I needed it for my middle finger. It looks like a man's ring in the picture, but it isn't.

All my shows...

2012-01-05T22:14:00.000-08:00

Yeah. I watch a lot of TV. I have zero energy when I get home from work like most people, so I plop my butt down in the recliner and zone out. I also have no life to speak of at the moment, so there ya go.

The newest show in my arsenal is "Rizzoli and Isles". It is this cheesy little cop show that is totally inaccurate, but I love Rizzoli - a smart ass female detective. If I would have stayed in that line of work, I would totally be her, except I'm not tall, skinny or brunette. I usually don't like those kind of shows, but this one stuck for some reason. My mom got me hooked on "Bones", too. The rest of my DVR consists of "Big Bang Theory" (I heart Sheldon), "Two and a Half Men" -- and even though it was technically a better show when Charlie was in it, Ashton is growing on me, I have to admit. He is much more lovable. In real life I cannot abide a stupid man, but it works in a sitcom.

Then there are my beloved HBO series. "Enlightened", "True Blood" and "The Big C". Oh, and let's not forget the history, discovery, animal planet and other such channels. Gotta watch me some mega disasters, UFO sitings, paranormal stuff and scary, elusive creature entertainment. Armageddon week is over, though. Bah! :-(

When my DVR is empty, I watch movies. Nothing else was on, so I watched "Soul Surfer" the other night. Surprisingly, it was a really good flick. I actually felt quite inspired and all warm and fuzzy at the end. Not typical emotions for me. Usually I'm balling, annoyed and flipping off the TV screen by the end of a sappy film. I think I'm perimenopausal, so that really just doesn't help.

I'm sick of typing now, so bye.

What sucks worse than going back to work?

2012-01-03T14:43:00.000-08:00

Getting 2 hours of sleep before having to go back to work. I am naturally a night owl, so if I have more than 4 days off in a row, I get all turned around. So, for instance, my new hours became: go to bed at 4 am and wake up at noon. Oftentimes those hours also included a nap around 3 pm. Yes, really. I had to wake up at 7 am today, and it is now 2:30 pm. I want to die, pure and simple. I've had two espressos and an energy shot, and it is still an effort to sit up in my chair. When someone asks me a question, I have a delayed response of about 3 minutes.

I got a brochure in the mail for my local community college and they are now offering cheap classes for non-students. I am going to take a journalism class, a digital photography class and an Adobe Photoshop class - all for about $150 plus materials. I need to fill my life with more than work -- sleep -- eat.

Speaking of eating, it is time for my snack. An Ostrim stick.

Favorite blogger statement of 2011, regarding the yearly OB visit: "So then came the fun part, you know, when the doctor inserts a car jack into your vagina." -Dooce

Favorite realization of 2011: I can say VAGINA whenever I want with NO consequences!!! Oh, didn't I tell you about almost getting disowned by my former in-laws? Yeah, I said "Vagina" on Easter. You seriously wouldn't believe what was discussed at our holiday dinner table this year! Oh wait, yes you would. VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA!

I cannot follow a thought all the way through at the moment, so that is why this post goes all over the place like I took too big of a hit off a joint.

2012!

2012-01-01T13:46:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are - 2012! What will this year bring? It is my first post of the new year and I am happy to report that I am feeling pretty good. I drank entirely too much coffee last night so that I could ring in the new year at midnight, but the coffee lasted a little longer than intended and I didn't fall asleep until 4 am. Bah! It is time to take the Christmas decorations down, do my laundry, program my new universal remote and my new state-of-the-art GPS. I also change out my picture frames with my favorite pics from the year now as a tradition.

I wished all my friends and family a Happy New Year and took Mags for a quick car ride up to the store. I tried one of those small 5-hour energy drinks, and WEEEEE they work! I'm all shaky like I had 15 cups of coffee. My mom is making me her best dish tonight - roast with potatoes and carrots. I love how she carmelizes the carrots and the potatoes have the roast juice all over them. Yum! I don't go back to work until Tuesday, but I saved all the un-fun tasks I need to do at home for today and tomorrow. What was I thinking? Starting out the New Year with chores. Hrmph! I need to re-think this next time.

Well I hear my mama-san getting the Christmas boxes out -- guess that means it is time to get going. Happy New Year to you all! Hope this is your best year yet!

xoxo - Crazydogmama

I did it!

2011-12-30T10:53:00.000-08:00

I just spent THREE days straight finishing "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" book before I went and saw the movie. I am a slow reader, but I ingest every word into my memory. The movie was good, but the book was phenomenal! The first third is back story, the second third is fascinating, and the last third explodes all over the place! Lisbeth is awesome. LOVE what she does to the rapist...and now that this idea is out there - every "rapist pig" better watch out.

Merry Christmas Eve!

2011-12-24T09:43:00.000-08:00

OK, here's the scoop. Went to the doctor. She didn't seem alarmed - said it was probably an infection. I'm on antibiotics for now, getting a chest xray next week just to make sure, and going from there. I do not feel sick, and my lungs feel good as far as breathing goes, so hopefully it is just one of those things. Thank you for all of the thoughts and prayers!

Vacation Day # 1, Friday: Woke up at 11:30 am because I stayed up until 3 am the night before watching this awful, horrible, sad movie about this dog whose master dies and the dog keeps waiting at the train station for NINE YEARS for his dead master to come home who never comes home. It is a true story and there is a statue of the dog where he waited all that time. OMG, bring on the snot bubbles! No wonder I love dogs so much - what human has that kind of loyalty??? NONE. But I digress...I made breakfast burritos, then my mom and I drove up to Cath's, went to dinner, then to a Christmas church thing which was really good and I cried some more. I'm so freakin' sappy. In the middle of the day just before church, I got two panicked calls from two different coworkers in NJ. I helped them through a crisis and appreciated all the really funny banter that we shared about having no life and working all the time. I've been promised See's candy and cash transfers to my Paypal account for saving their butts and helping during my vacation. LOL! I told them just to forward nice emails to my boss and also Santa. I worked on their problem once I got home and finished at about 2:30 am.

Today I'm probably going to make some homemade hot buttered rum batter, bake some cookies, then maybe go over to Downtown Disney with the ma and have coffee and shop and look at all the pretty Christmas decorations.

OK I'm hungry, I gotta go...

At least it is a pretty Christmasy Red...

2011-12-21T22:49:00.000-08:00

So yeah, I'm coughing up blood. Neat. Here's a little piece of advice, don't look up symptoms you have on the internet - they tend to go to the extreme. Am I scared? Not really. It's probably something dumb like a broken capillary - but if it's not, well, then it's not. I'll deal. It's probably something I've brought upon myself. I have a wonderful little 11-day vacation starting Friday, and what I DON'T WANT is to spend all of it at the doctor. This kind of thing needs to happen when I don't have time-off already scheduled. Bah! It tastes icky. I'd make a horrible vampire.

An answered prayer, and I didn't even know it!

2011-12-19T17:06:00.000-08:00

A little while ago, October 17th to be exact, I wrote the following prayer down. I even briefly posted it on here, but then took it off. Can't remember why. I highlighted the last part, and if you read the post below this one that I wrote late last night (early morning), you will see that my prayer was answered about "being OK" with walking my road alone.

Dear God,

I'm sure you probably like it better when we pray, but I am a better writer than I am a pray-er. You know I fall asleep before I finish and my mind wanders around on everything anyway. I'm more focused this way.

First, I want to thank you for all the things you have given me and all the prayers you have already answered. I am safe and warm, my bills are paid, I have a great job and for the first time in my life I have a savings account and money left over each month. I live in a beautiful house with a pool, you have averted me from cancer and I have family and friends who love me. This is nothing to shake a stick at, I know. There was a time when I had no idea how I was going to get gas in my car and I was so stressed out and burnt out I thought I was going to have a stroke. This is a big difference and I don't feel worthy of it, but thank you nonetheless. I'm sorry I haven't taken very good care of the body you have given me. I know the ailments I have are my own fault. I just ask for your help to change all these bad habits of mine.

There are so many people I want to pray for. Not just my loved ones, but for all the people who have touched my life. Stay close to them, even if they don't know you or have forgotten about you. Maybe they will feel you some day, like I do. You know all their names.

OK, here comes the hard part. I have got to be the worst so-called Christian who ever walked the face of the planet. I don't do anything right. NOT ANYTHING. No wonder you had to send Jesus. Here I am with this great life and I'm what? Sad. I have everything, and I am freaking sad. It's stupid, but I don't know what to do about it. You say in the Bible we are supposed to have joy, even in suffering. I'm not good at that. In fact, you could say I royally suck at it. I'm sad in suffering, and I'm sad when everything is fine. I'm SUPER good at doing the opposite of everything you ask of me, however. If you could forgive me, that would be awesome.

I don't know what you had/have planned for me to do, but I'm sure I'm not doing it. I want to change that. I want to do whatever it is I am destined to do for you, no matter how small. You will probably have to keep repeating yourself to me, though, because I don't listen well and I procrastinate. But you know that.

One last thing. It's about my heart. It is broken. Can you fix? Maybe you have me slated to be this independent woman who doesn't need a companion, but if that is true, can you help me like it?

That is all for now. Thanks for listening. I love you. Good night.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Cher

SEE? It is important to write things down! Blogs are good!

Do you ever wonder?

2011-12-19T01:27:00.000-08:00

Yup, I'm having one of those I-can't-sleep-and-feeling-a-dark-blog-coming-on kind of nights. I struggle with major depression and anxiety, and sometimes I'm just too tired to fight it. Although all my different shrinks have told me I'm not crazy or Bi-Polar or anything like that, I do suffer from a form of PTSD, which is ironic if you know anything about my life.

There are certain things that trigger my meltdowns and I've learned just to let it happen. You can't side-step it, run from it or ignore it. You have to just accept it, and hold on for the ride. I'm not alone in this; almost everyone I know deals with "stuff". Young, old, middle-aged, male, female - doesn't matter. Life is funny that way, it is no respector of persons. I am not special or extraordinary or any worse off than anyone else. And you know what? There is no passing the buck. My life is my own, and so is yours. You can't blame your parents, God, the devil, bad luck, karma, your ex or your genes on how things turned out for you. Nope, you can't. You can try, but good luck with that.

Yes, some things happen that are out of your control - but how you deal with it is up to you. I am constantly trying to change my thinking and just surrender myself over to God, but it is HARD. Think about it though, how else do you develop character if you don't have to wade through the shit pond every once in awhile? I will admit, sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing here. On Earth, I mean. I often want to die because I can't think of any reason to stay. But then I snap out of it and go have a cookie. In therapy, they always have to ask you if you are "suicidal" for obvious reasons. I always say this: "Yes, sometimes, but I don't think death is going to be any easier than life so I realize there isn't any point." That always gets an interesting reaction. LOL.

I actually do think there is SOME reason I am still alive and kicking - why God hasn't given me the pink slip just yet. Hell if I know what it is, but yeah.

Here is the weird part. I *am* starting to change. I used to be this dating machine, excited and exasperated all the time trying to find some great guy. The last date I was on was August 27th, with John. I've been asked out several times since then, and even had dates scheduled with different men, but for some reason I stopped emailing back, didn't return phone calls, and cancelled dinners. It all of a sudden just didn't seem that important anymore. About a month ago I was looking at my credit card statement and saw all the recurring online dating site charges. It was a lot of money. I cancelled them all that day. I am still a member of one - a free one, but I only check it if I get an email, and 99.9% of the time I do not respond for some reason or another. John still sends an occassional text wishing me a happy birthday or some such thing, and I still hear from Joe every once in awhile. Other than that, I'm just...meandering about. I don't know if there will ever be someone else. And I'm not really sure I care. But this is not the source of my depression - never has been.

Wow. I'm putting myself to sleep, so I'm sure I lost you awhile back. I'm gonna shut it now and go lie down. Gotta try and turn it off for a few hours - must work tomorrow.

Making Memories

2011-12-17T23:35:00.000-08:00

Cath helping us make the super secret family recipe for Jam Cake. MMMMMM!

My backordered birthday present - a seriously awesome espresso machine...

More Christmas decorations FA LA LA

I finally got all 3 dogs in 1 picture. Maggie the Cairn Terrier, Saydee the Pitbull and Molly the Maltese.

Santa Visits a Wee Bit Early

2011-12-11T01:18:00.000-08:00

The kids are flying back to Seattle for Christmas, so we did our celebrating with them this weekend. We had the new traditional Christmas dinner of pizza and spaghetti with meatballs from Biagio's because Crazydogmama's ass is kicked. Then, we opened the pretty presents and watched a movie. Grandma and Auntie Cathy pooped out early. It is getting awfully chilly here for So. Cal. and it is actually feeling a bit "Christmasy" this year. The pool is 53 degrees and the poor pool heater just looked at me and said 'I don't think so'.

Red Bull Tastes Like Feet

2011-12-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

Bleck! That stuff is NASTY! I am so sleepy today that I fell asleep in my car at lunch. We have Red Bull in our vending machines for 25 cents, so I thought what the hell. I want my 25 cents back. I am going to hurl.

My Demon has the Flu

2011-12-05T17:28:00.000-08:00

OK. I keep a Kleenex box on my night stand on my left side. It is always there, I never move it. Maggie cannot reach it. A few nights ago, as I was finally starting to drift off to sleep, I hear an awkward and slight "thud/crunch". I thought it was probably my cell phone falling off the bed (yes, I sleep with it, shut up), as it often does, but I felt around my pillow for it, and there it was, untouched. Curious, I got up and switched on my lamp. The Kleenex box was on the RIGHT side of the bed on the floor. It was not there when I got into bed. I no longer thrash about after getting into bed due to my new awesome memory form mattress, there is nothing to set it onto on the right side, and there is no way for it to get over to the right side without SOMEONE MOVING IT. I did not move it, Maggie was under the covers, and the fact that I heard it landing on the floor means it got there BY ITSELF. I even asked my mother if she had been messing with it and she swore she hadn't touched it. I'm a little creeped out and thinking maybe I should lighten up on the horror movie watching before I am hurling pea soup onto a priest.

Christmastime and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

2011-12-04T15:26:00.000-08:00

This is the first time I have decorated for Christmas since 2006. It was done for me in 2007 when my dad passed, I just went through the motions in 2008 and then my life fell apart further as you long time readers know, and I just sort of "skipped over" Christmas as best I could. Not this year! I spent all of Saturday decorating, drinking spiked eggnog and listening to Christmas music with my two moms and all the puppies. Magadog, Molly and Cath's dog Saydee. Good times. My mom carried on our tradition of getting a new ornament each year, and she got this really pretty Mickey ornament from Disneyland for us. You would all be proud of me, I LET OTHER PEOPLE HANG ORNAMENTS ON THE TREE. This was a big step for me, I guess all the therapy has paid off.

Late last night as the wind was kicking up and it was cold out, I curled up with Magadog and my new book "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". Everyone I know has raved about it, so with the movie coming out on the 21st, I thought I would get it read.

Eggnog Lattes and Chocolate Whoopie Pies

2011-12-02T13:39:00.000-08:00

These will be the end of me. Any and all healthy living progress has been squashed into oblivion for the moment. I blame Starbucks.

Little Girls + Demons = Successful Horror Flick

2011-11-28T21:00:00.000-08:00

The Exorcist: Regan talks to "Captain Howdy"
Poltergeist: Carol Ann talks to the "TV People"
Paranormal Activity 3: Kristi talks to "Toby"

OK, I loved Paranormal Activity 3 (I love them all), but I really want to know why they didn't include any of the scenes in the trailer in the movie??? I especially like how "Toby" table head-butts the psychic. Guess I will have to wait for the uncut DVD. :-/

Why I'm not allowed to have young children around...

2011-11-28T16:42:00.000-08:00

Photo (legally) stolen from http://skinnyrunner.com/

Turkey Day - Success!

2011-11-28T16:05:00.000-08:00

I was the sole chef for this year's Thanksgiving, and for a record number of people - SEVEN. Bill (my stepson), Robby (Bill's best friend), Erica (Bill's girlfriend), Mom #1, Mom # 2, Mom # 2's son's girlfriend Lisa and myself. The most I had ever cooked for previously was six, and that was with help. I did it! We had crab/artichoke dip with baguette, and salami + cheese + crackers for appetizers (and champagne). The day before I had to cook the turkey, because we did turkey AND ham cuz Erica hates turkey, and there was no way to cook that much stuff in one small oven in one day. I also prepped most of the side dishes on Wed. so I wouldn't have a full-on panic attack on Thursday. I also cleaned and did last minute shopping and hurt my back. AGAIN. (Thank God for muscle relaxers and wine.)

Kids drove down Wednesday night and we all chatted while I chopped. Thursday was a fun-filled day of food, drink and laughter. Our new tradition for "Black Friday" is Disneyland - starting last year and continuing this year, however I completely pooped out at 4 pm and went home and took a nap, then went back at 9 to pick up the kids. I'm old! But instead of going home, they made me go see Paranormal Activity 3 again because it was essential we see it together. OK. Fine.

Saturday the kids helped me put up the Christmas Tree and then I kicked them out so I could sleep for the next 30 hours. Which I did.

Heaven on a spoon. Perfect on Thanksgiving for those who don't like pie. Like me.

The kids

Where's the turkey you promised me? Hello?!

My eyes were bigger than my stomach. Which gives me pretty freakin' big eyes.

To Mom # 1: I cook, you clean...

Yes, I am FINALLY posting!

2011-11-18T16:31:00.000-08:00

Best Birthday EVER! My very best friend on the planet (Jenny) from Seattle, flew down last Friday night. My two moms and I picked her up at Long Beach airport and since it was almost 10 pm, we decided we needed pie and coffee to keep us awake! After we got home, the appletini's put us to sleep.

Saturday, on my actual b-day, we spent a few hours down at Laguna beach goofing off, eating and buying a bunch of stuff we didn't need. Funny story. We had decided to get a coffee and share a chocolate croissant, then walked over to some benches that overlooked the ocean. A bunch of birds flew down around us and I (stupidly) picked a small piece of my croissant off and fed a pigeon. Then, suddenly, a HUGE seagull swooped down and grabbed MY ENTIRE HALF CROISSANT RIGHT OUT OF MY HAND. I was all WTF just happened???? Jenny was rolling.

That night we went to BJ's Brewery for dinner (I had a Maui glazed pork chop) and went back the house for ice cream cake and lemon drop martini's. What? They totally go together!

Sunday it was Disneyland time. We went from 40 y.o. to 4. OMG, so much fun. Lasted almost 12 hours. We got soaked on Splash Mt. and the Grizzly River Run. Jenny got it the worst.

Monday we slept in, I made eggs benedict (of course) which we ate outside on the patio and just hung out. I had to take her to the airport at noon, so the rest of the day sucked after that and now we are all pouty.

The end.

Absolutely nuts at work. I want Jenny back.

My New Favorite Word

2011-11-07T17:24:00.000-08:00

I had an email conversation going with a co-worker in NJ today, and he used the word "assholular" in a sentence. I rolled. I love new words.

Playing Catch Up...

2011-11-07T17:09:00.000-08:00

Holy cow. Busy. In the middle of selling the WA house (finally!), work is crazy, had a coworker friend from Seattle come stay with me last weekend - fun! Lots of wine! and...next weekend I turn the big 4-0, and my very best friend in the whole wide world is coming to visit for 4 days!!! I can't wait. All this girl-time has been really good for me!

I also got a new bed. It is a Serta i-Comfort, which is similar to a Tempurpedic, but made with gel inside the memory form instead so you don't experience the hot/cold fluctuations. LOVE.IT. Worth all those pennies...and there were a LOT of pennies. I can finally sleep through the night.

I'm sure I will have tons of pics to share from all my adventures of late, but I haven't had time to download them. The kids are coming for Thanksgiving again, and I'm cooking this year! AAAAHHHH! And Christmas is coming...and holy crap there is never enough time for anything!!

Never Argue with a Woman

2011-11-01T13:46:00.000-07:00

One afternoon, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says:

"Good Afternoon, Ma'am..What are you doing?"

"Reading a book", she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area", he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault." says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you", says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment...and for all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left.

MORAL:

Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Acupuncture WORKS!

2011-10-26T16:32:00.000-07:00

My back has noticeable improvement already - after only ONE session! It was a strange experience, but the girl said my body was reacting strongly. (I was dizzy briefly, my teeth chattered yet I wasn't cold and I broke out in a cold sweat) But aftewards, I had minimal back pain and my blood sugar had dropped about 30 points - which is good since I'm a borderline diabetic.

I bought 4 sessions, so I'm thinking good things will emerge! In between sessions, I was given Chinese herbs and ear "points" - these little seed-like things (3 on each ear) that I massage 3 times daily for nerve stimulation to a certain part of the body. This is some weird shizzle, but I have to say I feel better!

Giada is my hero!

2011-10-25T22:42:00.000-07:00

What do you do in your spare time? I watch Giada on the Food Network. Everything I have EVER made from her cookbooks always turns out AWESOME. WAY yummy stuff! She made this one on the episode I watched last weekend - it is super easy, but WOW. Must. Make. Now.

Pancetta Biscuits by Giada De Laurentiis

Biscuits:

1/4 pound pancetta, diced
1 (8-ounce) box store bought biscuit mix
Buttermilk (in place of the liquid in the boxed biscuit mix recipe)
1/4 cup shredded Fontina

Cinnamon-sugar butter:

1/2 vanilla bean
1/2 cup sugar
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1 stick butter, at room temperature

Directions

To make the biscuits: In a saute pan, heat the pancetta over medium-high heat and cook until crisp, about 5 minutes.

In a large bowl, make the biscuits according to the box instructions, using buttermilk instead of the suggested liquid. Gently stir in the pancetta and the cheese.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Spoon the biscuit mixture onto the baking sheet and bake according to box instructions. Transfer to a wire rack to cool.

To make the Cinnamon-sugar Butter: Cut open the vanilla bean lengthwise. Using the back of a knife, scrape along the inside of the vanilla bean to collect the seeds. Scrape vanilla bean seeds into a small bowl. Add sugar and cinnamon and stir to combine. Stir in the butter until well blended. Transfer to a serving bowl.

Serve the biscuits on a platter with the Cinnamon-sugar Butter alongside.

What do you get...

2011-10-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

...when you cross a cranky Crazydogmama with a jerk? A jerk with a limp.

It's almost getting funny...

2011-10-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

I am such a mess...I have now hurt my back. I was playing on the floor with Maggie and I tweaked something. Ever since, I can barely walk. I have to hold on to furniture and walls to get anywhere. I'm sitting here at work with a hot pack and my feet up looking retarded. I'm afraid I'm going to fall down and not be able to get up. I am so sick of doctors I could scream!!!! What am I gonna do with myself??

Smoking, Church and Acupuncture

2011-10-14T11:48:00.000-07:00

I have a pack and a half left of my Marlboro's, then I'm done. It's time. Blah. Not good for my anxiety, but I have to keep moving forward. And I'm gonna watch my language. I know, don't fall over.

I think I may have found a church that won't irritate me. I'm going to try it out. You see, I don't think most mainstream Christians would know God if he was sitting next them. I want REAL. Not warm and fuzzy, not tolerant of everything God hates, not picking and choosing what suits them out of the Bible. I'm an all-or-nothing kind of person. Do it, or don't. I have problems. So does everyone. But I know the Lord, and I have fallen by the wayside. I need to get up. I have no need to justify any of my behavior - I just need to change it. Period.

I am starting acupuncture for some of my ailments. I was never a big believer in Chinese medicine before, but I've researched it, and I'm starting to think there is something to it. My doctor recommended it. We'll see. Can't hurt to try. I'll let you know.

Almost in the crossfire...

2011-10-12T15:19:00.000-07:00

I was going to lunch in the same complex when this happened...

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/salon-shooting/

2011-10-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

Habib is trying to kill me...

2011-10-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

So my Gastroentologist, Habib, who is the most adorable little man EVER who speaks with a stutter (you just want to hug him), made a most upsetting request yesterday. The results of my endoscopy revealed that I only have mild acid reflux disease, so the diagnosis for the severe symptoms I have are a combination of the acid reflux and a massive anxiety disorder. In order to lessen my troubles, Habib suggested I cut out Chocolate, Coffee, Alcohol and Smoking.

I stared at him and blinked.

Then I said "So, let me get this straight...you are asking a WOMAN with a massive ANXIETY disorder to cut out CHOCOLATE, COFFEE, ALCOHOL and SMOKING? Are you HIGH??"

He laughed very loud. I did not. Then he said "OK, maybe just cut back."

I don't think he realizes that those are the things that keep me alive.

:-/

OMG I NEED THESE

2011-10-11T09:31:00.001-07:00

Time to Read

2011-10-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

I've missed reading. Over the last few years it has been difficult for me to read - I've read a few books here and there, but I can't seem to concentrate on anything for very long when I'm tired and home from work. Today I spent time with my two moms and we had a great conversation about all the different books we've read and all of a sudden I'm all jazzed up. So I went up to my bookshelf and brought one down. "Subterranean" by James Rollins is what I chose. I will let you know what I think! I'm going to go take my nightly swim and then curl up in front of the fireplace with Mags. Yup, my Saturday night. Sad, huh?

Life in 5 Short Chapters

2011-10-06T15:31:00.000-07:00

Here I am again. Struggling to make sense of things. Digging for the root of the problem. Trying to live in the now. I've had to make some tough decisions lately and it is hard to do that alone. No matter where you go, you have to take yourself with you. Do you ever get sick of yourself? Sometimes I feel like Tom Hanks' character did in "Cast Away". If I start talking to a ball, though, intervene - OK?

My therapist left me with this poem today. I fluctuate between Chapters 2 and 3. :-/

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit ... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

-Portia Nelson

Whale or Mermaid?

2011-10-05T11:15:00.000-07:00

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.

They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.

They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?

They would have no sex life and could not bear children.

Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.

And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.

We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.

Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn)

By: Delphine Fieberg

You know you are feeling better when...

2011-10-01T03:08:00.000-07:00

...you are dancing around the house in your underwear at 3 am singing along to "Take a Chance on Me" by ABBA, sporting vampire fangs. Yup.

I need a vacation from my head

2011-09-30T00:37:00.000-07:00

For the quick update, I am going to cut and paste what I wrote on Facebook because I am too lazy to rewrite it.

Monday's procedure went well, but after I woke up, I suffered from a migraine so bad I wanted to slit my own wrists. Then, the next day I came down with a severe respiratory infection that has had me bedridden most of the week. It sounds like I swallowed a chainsaw. I am going back to work tomorrow because I can't spend one more minute at home inside my own head. I thought about a lot of stuff, and that's really dangerous.

Now here is the part I don't put on Facebook where people who actually know me go. I like the anonymity of my blog sometimes. I think only two or three people in my real life actually come here, and I'm not even sure about that anymore.

I came close to rescuing a really cute puppy, but my mom made the point I'm not home enough. (Although I have been lately). It's true, I like dogs better than people - I'm going to end up the old dog lady, I'm telling you. I can't believe how much I still miss Lou. You don't get over it. People are generally mean, disrespectful and untrustworthy. Dogs...well...aren't. They actually seem to give a shit. Yeah, they pee on the floor and bark at paper, but they don't mess with you. Maggie didn't leave my side this week while I laid in bed dying and crying. She is laying at my feet right now.

I have that confused, dazed thing going on again. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. It's kinda chronic. Oh, and it sucks too. I'm hopeless. Utterly fucking hopeless. I'm sick of the positive shit right now so you're going to have to deal with that.

A New Era?

2011-09-23T11:02:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't been blogging daily like you are all used to, so I'm sorry for that. I'm working things out in my head right now and changing some things in my life. Again. I'm shifting my priorities. It has become apparent to me that I walk my own road. I'm not sure of the reasons why, but that is how it is.

I am still involved with John to a point, but our time together is sparse and I don't know what the future holds for us, if there is a future. I care for him very much, but like I said, I'm walking a strangely narrow road right now. I have been asked out by some other men recently, but I have turned them all down.

I go in for an upper GI endoscopy on Monday. It turns out I do not have Gastroparesis, but something is wrong, so they need to do some searching. Not fun. I'm not supposed to take any ibuprofen or aspirin for 4 days before the procedure, and of course I have a pounding headache today. Joy.

I'm hoping for a quiet weekend.

Cairn Terrors

2011-09-17T10:35:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY, AT LAST, found someone (click on "someone" for link) who totally understands what it is like to own a Cairn Terrier. Here is an exerpt:

If after perusing all these Cairn Terrier related issues and you still think you might be right for a Cairn... I would obtain one final opinion from a disinterested third party, otherwise known as a 'Sanity Check'.

Even if you do not own a Cairn, you will enjoy Dan's stories - really, REALLY funny, and sooooooo true. One minute you can't imagine loving a dog more, and the next minute you wanna kill 'em. Total obnoxious brats. Anyway, trust me on this one and read if you are any kind of a dog lover at all.

Stuff and Things

2011-09-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

1. I did not get laid off, but many did and the workload is going to be INSANE.
2. The doctor thinks I may have "Gastroparesis" which is why I get "sick" so often. Neat. I see a specialist next week.

3. I was recommended to do a 3 day juice cleanse to detox my system. http://www.earthlyjuicecart.com/ (see pic above)
4. I am very frustrated with John and I don't know what will happen. Don't have time to worry about it.
5. I kept seeing a white line appear and disappear on my ceiling that drove me nuts. Couldn't figure out where it was coming from or what it was, and one night stood on top of my bed and yelled at it. Don't tell anyone, they will lock me up and throw away the key.

That is all for now.

Love this

2011-09-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

Good Quotes

2011-09-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

“Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow.”

-Norman Vincent Peale

“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”

-Muhammad Ali

“Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”

-Abraham Lincoln

If you’re going through Hell, keep going.

-Winston Churchill

“Any guy can love a thousand girls...but only a rare guy can love one girl in a thousand ways.”

-anonymous

Kids, Disneyland Meetups and My Exhausted Ass...

2011-09-05T22:11:00.000-07:00

VERY busy weekend, OMG. The kids (I have 3 now you know -- Bill, Erica and Robby, they call me "Mama Cheryl") came over Friday night, Sat, and Sun. I took them to see Apollo 18, they ate me out of house and home (bottomless pits!) and we swam and watched horror movies. Really good to see them -- poor grandma followed after us cleaning most of the time. LOL. She says they like coming to see me because I am "one of them".

Today I had my second "meetup" at Disneyland. The people are great. This meetup thing was at the advice of my new therapist - she wants me getting out and making friends instead of stressing and hanging out in my own head. We met for lunch at the Blue Bayou, then did all our favorite rides. I am getting *really* spoiled with my new friends - I don't have to wait in ANY lines!! Someone always has either a VIP Card or a Guest Assistance Pass (for handicaps/illnesses) which gets us right to the front of the line every time. I don't think I can go back to being a normal visitor!!

I am beat. I have to go back to work to relax!

Me and John

2011-09-02T21:35:00.001-07:00

OK so its hard to take cell phone pics when you're drinking. Sue me.

OH MY FUCKING GOD

2011-09-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

Did I tell you about the whole mess I had with the California DMV? Where I had to go back, like, 8 times and wait 3 hours because each time some stupid little thing was wrong? Like, for instance my birth certificate says one thing and my old driver's license said another thing and I may have burned my marriage license and my divorce paperwork said I was going back to my maiden name, and so on and so forth. So, then once they MADE me change back to my maiden name and gave me my license, they spelled my name wrong and I had to go through the WHOLE FUCKING PROCESS AGAIN. It took me 20 minutes to explain to the English-is-my-second-fucking-language government worker that they spelled it CHERLY instead of CHERYL. He did not see the problem. It was like talking to someone who had just smoked an entire joint. THEN, I had to go and RE-DO and re-pay-for my registration to be done in my maiden name because dumb me got that done first before they had a cow that I couldn't prove I had been married.

So, now that I have to change 60 million things into my new name with less than zero time to do it, I figured I would go next to the Social Security office. Fuckers. I had a 5 minute wait, ALL my paperwork, and GUESS WHAT? "I'm sorry, but you need either the original or a certified copy of your divorce paperwork." FUUUUUUCK! The original got lost somehow in the move to California that I had a whole 3 weeks to do and everything was chaos. So I had to call my lawyer who has to call the court and now I will have to wait another 3 weeks. And then I will owe my lawyer more money, and they charge like, 50 dollars a minute.

Everything in my life is this way. I will tell you what. I'm keeping this name. If I ever get remarried (stop laughing) I hope he is an understanding guy because I'M NOT DOING THIS AGAIN!!!

When someone drives you batshit crazy, does it mean you're in love? Or should you run like hell?

2011-08-29T01:20:00.000-07:00

Holy crap on a cracker. He takes about 8 hours to answer a text. Literally. Sometimes I won't hear from him for like, 2 weeks, and then he seems confused that I am irked. He has a smile that makes me forget my name. He can talk about a subject for 45 minutes non-stop (just him talking) and then, without warning, change the subject to something completely irrelevant and random. For example: Last night we were driving and he was telling me about his take on the presidential candidates. It was intense, then all of a sudden, we pass a street called "Kitts" and he says "How do streets get named, anyway? Who came up with Kitts? Is that someone's name? I want to name a street. How do I do that?" He looks over at me inquisitively, like I have the answer to this. I just blink at him and say "What?" He is completely serious and waits for me to answer him. He does this all the time.

Then there is the whole I'm usually right yet he never listens thing.

Phone call:
John: I'm leaving now.
Me: OK, meet you in about 45 minutes.
John: No, it should only be about 30 minutes.
Me: Oh? Usually it takes you 45 minutes or so.
John: Not this time of night.
Me: K. (rolling my eyes)

47 minutes later he arrives.

Driving and lost:
John: Uh, I think I did that wrong.
Me: Uh, yep.
John: Isn't 2nd street up to the left?
Me: No, I think you make a right up here, then a left.
John: No, I think it's left first.
Me: I don't think so - the ocean is over there, so it has to be right to get back out on the main highway.
He makes a left.
John: Crap!
Me: (giggling) I told you.
John: Yes, OK, you were right. You are right about lots of things.
Me: Yes, I know. You hate that don't you?
John: No. Yes.

But then at the end of the night (well, usually around 4 am or so) we will be sitting in his car, and he will lay his head on my chest and hold on to me like a lost little boy while I run my fingernails through his hair, and everything that seemed wrong in the world will suddenly seem right and I will feel more peaceful then I've ever felt in my life.

What am I going to DO with him??

We are both emotionally unavailable, yet I think he needs me as much as I need him. We are both committment-phobes at this point in our lives, yet we keep seeing other. 5 months now? He will completely tick me off, but I will keep it to myself, then he will ironically and spontaneously say something so incredibly sweet it almost doesn't seem real and I have to stop being mad at him. His kisses are so sweet and good it almost pisses me off.

What the hell??

Overwhelmed

2011-08-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling a little bit overwhelmed lately. Work is busier than it has ever been - and with the looming layoffs everyone is stressed to the hilt. If I stay, but lose one of my guys, it will be back to 60 to 70 hour weeks for me and I just don't know how much longer I can run at this pace. I'm tired. I really want a personal life, but I don't see how that will be possible. Yeah, they pay me a lot of money, but is it worth it? As it is right now, my laundry is piling up, my bathroom needs to be cleaned, my car needs to be washed, I need an oil and lube, I need to return some items to a store, blah, blah, blah. Just thinking about all of it makes me want to take a nap. My back and shoulders hurt from the muscle tension and I'm getting a headache. I hardly ever get to see John which sucks. His long-time business (mortgage broker) is as you can imagine, not doing well in this economy and he is all kinds of stressed out too. Plus, he lives all the way up in LA. Bah! But, we are going out tomorrow night and I just want to lay in his arms and forget all this crap.

Where there is a will...

2011-08-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

So I have this Disneyland annual pass, but no one I know has one, and it is quite difficult to get people to spend 100+ bucks a trip more than once or twice a year. SOOOO, someone turned me on to "meetup.com". Fabulous! I just joined two groups for annual passholders -- people just like me who want to make friends with other passholders and spend more time at the parks! I go on my first meetup on Monday -- got the day off from work!

FIZGIG!!

2011-08-19T11:35:00.000-07:00

So I was channel surfing last night and ran across the movie "The Dark Crystal". It is kind of a disturbing muppet movie that is so retarded it is AWESOME. My favorite character is Fizgig - the little dog-like pet or something. To fully understand this little guy's awesomeness, you must watch this. When I throw a fit, that is exactly what I look like.

I have two forms of expression: Completely intense, and completely silly. Just so you know.

Lasciare Andare!

2011-08-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

Translation: "Let Go" or "Allow to go". These are my "words". In Italian. Because I love everything Italian. So I watched the movie "Eat, Pray, Love" and despite the bad reviews, I enjoyed it. There was this thing in the movie where everyone needs to choose their "word" or "words" and I thought it was profound, so I thought about and chose mine. In order to be free, you need to "let go" or allow all the things paralyzing you in the present go by the wayside. It is an ongoing practice for me...so Lasciare Andare!

Speaking of Italian, if I get to keep my job (and even if I don't), I have begun to save for a trip to Italy. This time next year, if life allows, I will be blissfully partaking of an experience I have wanted all my life.

Weirdness

2011-08-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

I got into my car this morning to drive to work. (Yes I still have a job.) I rolled the window down partly. A spider crawled in and onto my hand. I looked down and saw the spider and just stared at it walking around on my skin. I did not let out a blood curdling scream, I did not smash my hand into the dashboard or fly out of the car jumping up and down - all things that would normally occur given the circumstance. I did NOTHING. No fear, no reaction, nothing.

HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN WHAT IS HAPPENING???

I have arachnophobia. Bad. Usually. I have hurt myself on a number of occasions trying to get away from spiders that are smaller than lady bugs. What happened today totally, completely and utterly shocks me. It cannot be explained. Something is going on with me.

Monkey say, monkey do

2011-08-09T17:45:00.000-07:00

They are doing big layoffs at my company, so we are hiring our own replacements...

Regret

2011-08-03T21:46:00.001-07:00

I would rather regret the things I've done than the things I haven't done.

Have you Planked today?

2011-07-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

The newest in internet/photoshop nerdery. Love it.

Dating Is Weird: An Open Letter to the Love/Hate Boyfriend

2011-07-28T14:08:00.000-07:00

O.M.G - I found this blog today and just LOVE it! http://datingisweird.blogspot.com/

One particular post sent me into hysterics - especially the last sentence...read:

Dating Is Weird: An Open Letter to the Love/Hate Boyfriend: "Dude - Though I'm not given to quoting our 43rd president, what was that quote that W mangled once? 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me tw..."

Horse Racing and other random things

2011-07-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

So I went to Los Alamitos Race Track last Saturday night - really fun! The horses are so beautiful and I kept winning! Wooo! Then I lost. LOL.

BBQ'd carne asada...took a pic of Mags doing her platypus stance...and had my nails done black and tan. Howz that for random?

I know my last post was rather cryptic - I didn't mean it to be. I received a letter that was written in a way that really made me really think about some things in my life. In particular, it made me reflect on my recent status with John. Although I really like him, I may be letting him get away with behavior I shouldn't.

Am I Crazy?

2011-07-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

I'm not so sure about this recent boyfriend thing. It's not fear...it's something else. I read something tonight from someone I can't disclose that made me really stop and think. It was the most incredibly written letter - written in a way I cannot even describe. It was beautiful but so different. Intelligent yet hilarious. It ignited something in me that I thought was burnt out forever. Hmmm. Crazy. I wish I could share - you would see what I was talking about.

What's on your bucket list?

2011-07-20T22:27:00.000-07:00

I have had a "bucket list" since I was about 15 - way before the movie came out. Over the past couple of years I have been able to cross a few things off --- "go to NY", "own a pool", "reach a [specific] salary goal", etc. Whenever I cross something off, I add something new. Today I added "Go to Italy", "Fly a helicopter" and "Drive a race car". The pic is me jumping out of an airplane (hanging from the strut) - which was the very first item I got to cross off my list way back when. Tell me something on your bucket list...if you don't have one, make one now!

Wheeeeee!

Life in Cali is rough...

2011-07-17T16:55:00.000-07:00

Moving here to start my life over was the best decision I have EVER made. Things are going so well in every area of my life that it is starting to make me nervous!

So Johnny is gonna go to Vegas with me (us - my friend Annie's 40th B-day bash) - I can't wait! My second mom is actually there right now visiting her son and she has been telling me about her adventures. The New York New York rollercoaster, kayaking, zip-lining...sounds so fun! It was funny when I had the "where have you been around here" conversation with John.

John: "You've NEVER been to Vegas?!?"
Me: "Nope."
John: "OMG"
John: "Palm Springs?"
Me: "Nope."
John: "Santa Barbara?"
Me: "Nope."
John: "Please tell me you've been to San Diego."
Me: "Not since I was a little girl."
John: (with his hands on his head) "Holy crap, woman! We have some traveling to do here!"
Me: "Yes we do!"

Cheers!

The Captain and a New A-list Item

2011-07-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

I splurged and bought a box (ok, two boxes) of the best cereal that ever existed. Capn' Crunch! I loved it as a kid, and I still love it! No other cereal even comes close to being as awesome as Captain Crunch. Even the name is awesome. Crunch Berries! And you know what? It isn't as many calories or as high in sugar as I thought it was! Justification! Wheeeee! I remember my mouth hurting after eating so much of it as a kid. I'm much tougher now.

I also just discovered the best restaurant - Crush Ristorante. Oh. My. God. I had the Filet Oscar and it literally melted in my mouth. It was a culinary orgasm.

It has been a really good week.

The mind is willing...the body is pissed off

2011-07-15T09:55:00.000-07:00

John kept me out until 3 am. On a work night. I kept telling him "I gotta go, I gotta go!" and he kept saying "10 more minutes". Yeah, he is hard to resist. The status of our relationship was confirmed last night when I asked him to "define" what he meant by saying I was "his girl". He declared that it meant he had no desire to see or be with anyone else but me, and that he would be a "fucking idiot" to let me get away. That statement coupled with his earlier statement of how I am "such a good woman" and he did not believe a good woman existed in Los Angeles, and, well, how do you say no to that? And he is such a good kisser. LOL! So yeah, he wins. He is totally cool with my guy friends; in fact he said: "Be friends with who you want, flirt with who you want, I just want to be the guy you're with at the end of the night..."

So there you go, I'm taken. Off the market.

I'm on my 6th cup of coffee. It's not working.

Fun things

2011-07-14T14:18:00.001-07:00

A mom story for you. So it wasn't until my father passed away in late 2007 that my mother was willing to get a cell phone like a normal person. It took her awhile to warm up to it, but I can even get her to text occasionally now. I still can't get her to buy a smart phone with a qwerty keyboard or internet access, but at least she's workin' what she's got. What is funny is that she used to make fun of me who won't even go to the bathroom without my phone, and now SHE is THAT attached to hers!! Last night I am watching TV and she comes downstairs from being on the computer. She walks into the kitchen and I hear her start to giggle. I look up to investigate and she is holding my wireless mouse in her hand. She thought it was her phone.

Not much else going on except I'm hanging out with John tonight. He just texted me saying "See you tonight Honey". Honey. We've been seeing each other for awhile now, but I'm still not used to that. I'm a walking issue.

Crazydogmama's "A-List" - Summer 2011

2011-07-12T10:12:00.000-07:00

I’m always getting asked about my favorite this and my favorite that…so without further ado…here is a random list of all my recent fav’s! I am picky about everything, but when I find something I like, look out!

FOOD AND BEVERAGE

Crow’s Cocktails – Long Beach, CA
http://www.yelp.com/biz/crows-cocktail-long-beach
John introduced me to this dive bar on our second date. We LOVE it and usually at least stop by every time we go out! The perfect mix of interesting people, the music is not too soft/not too loud, the bartenders are VERY entertaining and attentive, they pour good drinks, and if you need a cigarette – go just outside the front door and you will meet some real characters. If you can get a seat at the bar, you will be in people-watching heaven; as this place is standing room only by 10pm. John and I like to try and guess what’s going on with the people we see. i.e. “Wow – desperate housewife” or “He is gonna break up with her tonight – look at their body language!” Also a great place to make out. LOL!

Tantalum – Long Beach, CA
http://www.tantalumrestaurant.com/
This place is AMAZING. The décor, atmosphere, view, food…everything! I was soooo impressed. Best calamari I’ve ever tasted…check out the drinks menu too – really awesome Bloody Mary OMG!: “MEAT LOVER’S SPECIAL = tomato nectar, beef jus, absolut peppar, beef jerky, bacon & blue cheese olive”. My coworkers introduced me to this one.

5 Guys Burgers and Fries – Huntington Beach, CA
http://www.fiveguys.com/home.aspx
YUMMY! Cajun Fries! Raw Jalapeños! James took me here on Saturday, then I told my mother about it and we went on Sunday. Not good for the diet, but good for the soul!!
__________________________________
STUFF
Brighton Collectibles – Irvine, CA
http://www.brighton.com/
Some really cool and unique accessories (jewelry, purses, wallets, etc.)! Pricey, but good stuff. I want the heart necklace and the silver ballet flats!!

Smashbox Cosmetics – Online or Sephora
http://www.smashbox.com/
I have tried every type of makeup you can think of…and Smashbox ROCKS all of them! My favs include: Full Exposure Mascara, Halo Hydrating Perfecting Powder, Limitless Eyeliner and the Nude Lip Pencil.

Bliss Hand Cream - Sephora
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P6866&shouldPaginate=true&categoryId=4326
It smells good and it works! ‘Nuff said!

Jessica Simpson Shoes – Online or at DSW
http://www.jessicasimpsoncollection.com/SHOES/
Don’t cringe. These are some seriously cute and comfy shoes!! I just bought these: http://www.jessicasimpsoncollection.com/SHOES/High-Heels/CHEETAH.html
__________________________________
ACTIVITIES

LA Boxing – Lake Forest, CA
http://laboxing.com/lakeforest/
Great people, great workout, great fun! For those of us who would rather stick bamboo up our fingernails than walk on treadmill.

Lobster

2011-07-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

And not the kind you eat. I spent all day at Huntington Beach yesterday with my friend James and holy God my face and chest are blistered, and there is a small section of my tummy that is beat red. I look completely retarded. and the pain!!! I don't want to take a picture of myself because I'm afraid the flash will hurt! It's also very itchy. oooooooh. Studpidity.

The Bowlers

2011-07-09T09:15:00.001-07:00

I took the kids bowling - Bill bought an old bowling pin, and we all signed it to commemorate the day. Good times. Erica and I went to get a mani/pedi for girl bonding time. :-) Surviving 3 kids (young adults) for a long weekend is like surviving the apocolypse. LOL

Hangin' out by the pool..

2011-07-04T10:01:00.001-07:00

So far the weekend has been great fun! Perfect weather, good food and relaxation.

The kids goofin' off.

AWWW!

My friend James. My two mom's were also present, however I was told that if I put their picture on the internet it would be "my last conscious act". LOL

Party at Crazydogmama's

2011-07-02T10:10:00.001-07:00

Kids are coming up for the weekend...bbq....pics soon!!

Big Changes!

2011-06-30T12:11:00.000-07:00

Old kitchen. Notice the wallpaper, ancient appliances (that didn't work), the olive green tile, the wicker light...

Notice the grass wallpaper in the family room, the dirty white berber carpet, the wood paneling and the old furniture. Don't forget to look at the lovely plastic lighting over the kitchen.

More of the same. There's Lou...oh how I miss him.

No more popcorn ceiling! In with the nice crown molding! New leather couch. Nice painted walls, no more fricking wallpaper!!

New wood floor, and new tile entryway...

WAY better than the plastic lighting, huh?!?

Closeup of the beautiful granite countertops.

New sink, faucet, dishwasher...

I finally have a gas stove!!

Stress Less, Weigh Less

2011-06-26T16:56:00.001-07:00

I've been focusing more on peacefulness and happiness rather than just straight weightloss. Honestly, I think it is half the battle. Holly Mosier agrees with me. I picked up this book at Costco, but I've actually met her. She owns the boxing gym I go to here in LA. A very gorgeous 49 year old woman.

Yes, eating right and working out hard is necessary too, but if you are all stressed out and unhappy, you get nowhere. TRUST ME. When I first moved here, my cortisol levels were through the roof! It has taken me a year to fix my thinking and chill out, and a bunch of weight fell off. Not all of it, but a good start. When you are happy, people gravitate to you, too. I just talked to John who is all stressed at the moment and the first thing he said was he wished he was here with me because he doesn't feel stressed when he is around me. I think it was our third date when he hugged me, layed his head on me and said "I just wanna BE with you." It made me feel so good. Probably why I like him so much.

Anyway, it is a process and it doesn't come naturally, but it does work if you keep trying. I played with a Cairn Terrier puppy yesterday. My mom thought it would wig me out and make me start crying, but it didn't. Puppies are good for the soul!! Then I went to see "Super 8". Fun flick! I took some pics of the new kitchen and family room. I will post them later.

3 Men and a Crazydogmama...

2011-06-24T16:22:00.000-07:00

OK, it's kinda 4 men now, but then the title wouldn't be so brilliant. An explanation? No, I'm not a Ho. Well, I guess if I slept around I would be, but I don't. So there!

John is great. I am incredibly attracted to him. He is totally sweet and fun. One problem. He is kinda AWOL between dates. Not much communication. I don't know what he is up to and I don't ask, but my intuition tells me he is a bit of a playboy. I could be wrong, but I haven't been yet so I listen to myself. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt for now because he is, well, a GUY, and he has had car trouble lately (apparently), but the whole "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing was never truly discussed soberly so I'm not closing down my inbox just yet. and WOW. As soon as you start dating someone you are really into, the pheromones start pumping out through the top of your head - and all the dogs come running to sniff, I tell ya!

Joe is back in my life (kinda). James won't give up. And, Mike, he be the new guy. My mom said "Are you in some kind of love triangle?" to which I replied "Uh, no, it would be a love pentagon."

Never in ALL my life did I EVER think any kind of scenario even REMOTELY close to this was possible for me! Wheeeeeeee! :-)

Thank GOD I live with my mother...

2011-06-22T11:04:00.000-07:00

I know there are women out there balancing a career, children, a household and a social life -- and quite frankly I don't know how you do it!!! I am only balancing a career, a social/dating life and occasionally I do stuff around the house like a load of laundry. I am busy ALL THE TIME and there is no way in HELL I could do it alone.

Mom, thank you for all you do! She does the grocery shopping, most of the cleaning, the watering, is managing the house remodel and takes care of the dogs. She is also my receptionist, counselor and event coordinator.

My mother is an amazing woman and I love her so much! Go mom!

...and yes ma, I'll clean my room. :-)

Out with my peeps

2011-06-17T22:40:00.000-07:00

Mailbag

2011-06-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

I thought I would take the time today to share some of my responses to emails of late.

Question: "Wow! You get a lot of dates! What is your secret to attracting so many men? I am recently divorced also and I think I'm pretty, but I hardly ever get asked out." -

Answer: "Hi , thanks for emailing!" I have to admit, this question shocked me! I see my love life and experiences with men as a disaster from the word go, and to think that someone feels I have a "secret" when it comes to men is such a compliment - so thank you! I guess I would have to say this is what is working for me: Be happy with exactly who you are and exude that confidence. Have a busy life full of things YOU want to do - don't wait around and pine for men. Have no expectations - enjoy each moment for what it is; not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Smile A LOT and have fun *consistently* - men hate moody women. Don't be a man-hater. Men are great! They are a lot of fun and they have emotions and feelings just like women. DO NOT ASK MEN OUT, AND DO NOT CALL THEM, EMAIL THEM OR TEXT THEM UNLESS IN RESPONSE. LET THEM PURSUE YOU. (This is a really important one that I learned the hard way.) Look the best you can each day, but do it for yourself. I am not thin. I am not the prettiest girl out there. I don't have the most expensive clothes or jewelry, but I think I get asked out because I know who I am, am laid back and friendly, and I'm not desperate or needy. NO DRAMA! A nickel's worth of free advice: If you don't get called, or asked out again - it isn't rejection, it is simply that he didn't feel a "connection". It isn't his fault OR YOURS - it just wasn't meant to be. I hope this helps!! Good luck!"

Question: "I just read through quite a few of your blog posts and see that you have truly been thru a lot of crap!! You have (are) handling it so well (it seems). How did you cope with so much so gracefully?"

Answer: "Hi - thank you so much for the nice compliment, and thanks for writing! Well, honestly, it hasn't all been so graceful on my part. I had some pretty major meltdowns, and some days it was an effort just to get up and breathe. I was in intensive therapy for about a year - and I had the BEST therapist EVER. He helped me so much. I tried to focus on the fact that no one is out to get me. I am not cursed. Life just happens. There is nothing wrong with me, and I'm not unlucky. I've made mistakes and so what...everyone does. I've learned from them. Life is too short to be angry or jaded or depressed because I truly believe all the people who have crossed my path blessed me in some way. I am the person I am today because of ALL the things in my life. I have no regrets. I honestly hope my ex is happy, I miss all my loved ones who have passed away, but I know they are no longer in pain and they have left me with love and good memories. I have all the reasons in the world to be happy and hopeful about the future and I am continuing to better myself in some way on a daily basis.

Oh, you wanna know how the date went, dontcha?

2011-06-13T14:19:00.000-07:00

I know you are all on pins and needles...well, because my life is just so damn interesting. Ha!

Well, we watched the sunset....AND the sunrise. ;-) Yes, it was a very nice and romantic evening to which my heart fluttered every time he kissed me and touched my face. The beach was beautiful and quaint. I am enjoying every minute of this and not letting myself get wrapped up in any expectations. I don't spend time analyzing what his intentions with me are, and I'm not asking. There is no hurry; if it works out, it works out, if it doesn't, it doesn't - although I do really like him and have incredible chemistry with him. He is a very good looking, successful 46 year old man who says all the right stuff, does all the right stuff, who has never been married and has no kids -- so being certain that he is my knight in shining armor would be a little unrealistic and stupid on my part, I think. I am not even 100% certain of our status as a couple, and that's ok. He keeps calling me, he keeps asking me out, and apparently he thinks of me as a "goddess".

As we were checking out the beach scene, a group of VERY attractive women walked by us.

Me: "WOW."
John: "Yeah, they're hot, but you're a goddess."
Me: (smiling) "A goddess? Uh huh, yeah."
John: "Don't kid yourself. I'm a guy, and trust me, you are incredibly sexy. That, along with intelligent, successful, fun and a total sweetheart."
Me: (Somewhat speechless) "Um...well...thanks. I've been called a lot of things; Goddess is a first."
John: "Well, you are."
Me: "OK, let's go with that."
John: (laughs)

So, although it sounds like I blog the every detail of my life, that is not accurate - there is soooo much more. Lots of stuff going on in my life. Sorry, but some things are just mine to keep. ;-)

Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn!!!

2011-06-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

John is still having car issues. Crap! I have to wait until Saturday now to see him - but at least we can spend all day together then. I am sooo impatient, though. Arg! It was cute when he called, he is impatient too. ;-) And he is too gentlemanly to ask me to do the driving. He kept telling me how much he missed me. I think he is going stir crazy without his vehicle. He has his own business and works at home, but he is stranded. I'm all dressed up, too. Bah! Figures.

In other news, I'm now planning a Vegas trip! Woooo! I've never been there, so this should be fun! A friend of mine (Annie!!) turns 40 at nearly the same time I do, so us and a big group of friends are celebrating in Vegas. Viva las Vegas, baby!

"OK, Spill it!"

2011-06-07T23:03:00.000-07:00

That's what my co-worker (friend) Connie ("Con") said to me the other day. She started with "What in the hell is up with you? You're acting like you just won the lottery or something - so who IS he?" So I told her about John. Mario was listening of course so I had to tell him too. Mario said "Well, at least this one doesn't look like an axe murderer." to which I glared at him. Con asked me if I wanted to borrow her 5-inch stilettos. Jay, one of my direct reports said "Cool, my boss is getting some action!" I smacked him. Con then gave me her ruler to smack John with. (See picture)

While I was busy texting (Johnny of course) my mother asked "So how is lover-boy?" Lover-boy? So yes, this is the shit I get when I tell people about my love life.

So John's car should be fixed by Wed. night - and in his text today he wrote "I will call you the SECOND I get my car back because I need to see you. I miss you." So sweet. Purrrr.

Are you nauseated yet? Don't roll yer eyes too much - this is MY love life we're talking about here. Anything and everything can (and usually does) happen, and I am quite aware how full of shit guys can be. BUT, this is why I am probably feeling so laid back and happy right now - I am just enjoying the moment for what it is without thoughts of the past or the future. I have a new favorite saying: "It is what it is." LOL - so true.

He said he wants to spend Thursday evening on the beach - walking along with the sunset. Time has almost come to a complete stop for me. I can't remember looking forward to ANYTHING as much as I am looking forward to this and the minutes are draaaagggging along! AAAH! Thursday night may as well be in 2016! I am almost 40 and never once in my whole entire life have I ever had a romantic walk on a beach at sunset. Ever. It may sound stupid and cliche to you, but if you were me, it would sound a whole lot different, I promise you. I've never really experienced romance.
So here I am, trying this again. 388th time is a charm!

Shopping Spree, Johnny and Me!

2011-06-05T16:12:00.000-07:00

HOLY CRAP! I spent a small fortune this weekend on MYSELF. Clothes, shoes, makeup, jewelry, lingerie, bath stuff, coffee, DVD, hair stuff...

It is sad when you spend more on girlie stuff in just a few hours than your boyfriend (pictured -- Johnny!) did on getting his transmission fixed! Oy! I can do some damage when I wanna. But I gotta look good for my new man, right? ;-) And yes, those are my ginormous bras in the background. I have big boobies. Don't hate me because I have big ta-ta's. HA!

My new fav makeup is Smashbox, Urban Decay and Stila lipstick. Gotta love Sephora! Jewelry a la Chico's - awesome as usual. Shopped with mom and mom, and today went to "Islands" for lunch, then got an iced coffee.

Ahhhh, life is good. Finally. Time for a swim.

Nightstand

2011-06-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

I couldn't fall asleep last night. I tossed and turned and finally decided to read. When I was stuck at the Austin airport, I went into the little airport bookstore and tried to pick out something interesting to pass the time. Nothing really caught my fancy so I decided to pick out a book based on the cover. Stupid, I know, but sometimes I do silly, spontaneous things. The book on the nightstand was the one I chose. "Hold Still". When I discovered it was a "young adult" novel I was disappointed, but the disappointment didn't last long - this is simply a GOOD READ. The author tells the story with a lot of emotion and I am really enjoying it. It is very well done and I am impressed.

Kind of a Boring Ass Week

2011-06-03T15:03:00.000-07:00

I slept all day on Monday (not getting home until 6 am will do that to you, HA), boring work day Tuesday, went home early on Wed. cuz work was slow and I was tired, Thursday was uneventful except talked to Johnny on the phone -- but I'm bummed cuz the transmission in his car is acting up and he has to get it fixed and I don't know if I can see him this weekend, and now it's Friday and...BLAH. OH, WAIT! I got my driver's license FINALLY. Yeah, I've lived here a year and just now got it...let me tell you how much I FUCKING HATE THE CALIFORNIA DMV. They want every piece of documentation from my birth to my divorce and they wouldn't let me keep my married last name (not that I want to, but it is such a hassle to change everything) and made me change back to my maiden name because my birth certificate says one thing and WA license says another, and I *may* have had a bonfire to which my marriage certificate may have fallen into into, and my divorce papers say I am switching back, and FUCK now I have 5 billion things I have to change.

The wood flooring is being put in at home as I type. Finally. It has been concrete for a week. I just took a pic of my desk because I'm caught up at the moment with my projects. I will be slammed again on Monday, but I'm in limbo right now.

I just realized that I haven't been sarcastic, bizarre or cheeky lately. I'll have to fix that. How about this...

I sneezed hard earlier, peed a little in my panties, and since I didn't want to sit in my own pee the rest of the day, I took my panties off and now I'm going commando. Yup. That's how I roll.

Boyfriend?

2011-05-31T10:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, it seems weird to even SAY that word! I haven't had a "boyfriend" since I was 21 years old! So, here is my sappy little story...

I have been seeing this guy named John. I don't know what it is with the "J's"....My ex's name is Jim - and the last few guys I've dated have been Joe, James and now John...SHEESH! John and I hit it off right away online, then on the phone, and we had sparks on the first and second dates. Our recent date on Sunday was quite a night! He took me to Long Beach where we spent...well...pretty much all night. We settled in a little tiny (and very crowded) bar where we talked for literally HOURS. He had to sit very close to me in order for us to hear each other well and that set the stage for a great night of chemistry. We laughed and actually talked with other people in the bar we didn't know. When he had to order more drinks at the bar, he leaned far over and never let go of my hand. I KNOW!

Being that neither of us wanted to leave, we kinda kept drinking. A little bit too much. So when the bar kicked us out at 2 am, we agreed we would sit in the car until we both felt sober enough to drive and be able to pass the .08 law. We were in the car until 5 am (eventhough I felt completely sober by 3 am). Now for the good part. So somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, the conversation got intense. If this was a line, I have to say he is the master. He said that all of his life (he has never been married) he has looked around (grocery stores, beach, restaurants..) and seen couples -- you know the ones -- where you can tell they have that "connection". He said he would always say to himself "Why can't I find that?" "I really want that." THEN he said...."but tonight, everyone in that bar wanted to be us. I was finally on the other end." Then he kissed me. :-) He definitely earned it. WOW

After that he invited me to meet his family on the 4th of July and said he wanted to introduce me as his girlfriend...

Out having fun

2011-05-28T22:15:00.000-07:00

Went out to a bar with my moms tonight. Did a little little dancing and a little karaeoke. LOL!

Got another date tomorrow with the same guy I went out with on Thursday. John. He seems to be very into me. we'll see. I'm just having too much fun!

Huge Slacker

2011-05-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

OK, yes I know I have been a huge blog slacker lately. I will try to be better. I have been incredibly busy the last few months - out of state vacation, work deadlines, the boys, men, friends, every day chores and general laziness.

The house remodel is coming along great - as soon as the granite counter tops get installed in the kitchen and the wood flooring goes in, I will take updated pics. It is looking SOOOO good! My mom has also been working in the back yard putting in flowers, palms, etc. People say coming to our house feels like a vacation in Hawaii!! Woooo! Crazydogmama's Oasis... :-)

So I was wrong, I didn't have a date on Sunday, I have one tomorrow night. Sunday, Thursday, whatever...LOL! I have been talking to him for a little while now so I'm excited to see how this goes. I have no expectations anymore so it is less stressful. I just go out and have fun and see what happens.

Invaded by teenagers...

2011-05-21T14:04:00.001-07:00

Bill and Robby came to visit me this weekend. I went up to LA last week to see Bill's play and they begged to come eat real food. LOL. We've been swimming and watching horror movies, and I made them my famous "Cheryl pasta". Bill's girlfriend Erica, who I love, is moving down in June. I can't wait! :-)

Not much else going on...work is crazy busy and I'm talking to two different guys. I think I have a date tomorrow.

Receiving a lot of crap at work...

2011-05-11T11:48:00.000-07:00

So while I was in Texas, my friend Mario was staying with friends there, but had to stay with me one night at the hotel because they could not accomodate him that night. The hotel was gracious and brought him up a rollaway bed to sleep in as a guest, but when he called the front desk for something, they referred to him as "Mr. {my last name}", assuming he was my husband. LOL!!! We got a good laugh about that, and I called him by that name the rest of the trip. Well, Mario works for me -- I am his boss. Work caught wind of this story and have now changed his name plate accordingly. OMG, the director of my department was laughing her ass off this morning, especially when I said "Yeah, he is really my bitch now...".

Last Stop: Oasis

2011-05-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

My last stop was the Oasis in Austin. It is a restaurant nestled along the cliffs of Lake Travis and is called "The Sunset Capital of the World". They are right. We hit it right at sunset on Cinco De Mayo and it was one of the most amazing sights I've ever seen. The pictures do not do it even the slightest bit of justice. The sun is just a HUGE ball of fire setting ever-so-slowly behind the hills. My sunglasses have a blue hue to them, so when peering at the sunset, it appeared as a big hot pink ball. Incredible. Once the sun completely sets, they ring a bell.

I had some foo-foo drink and basically a bowl of melted cheese. Yummy melted cheese and tortilla chips. I ordered an appetizer, but only took one bite because, well, I ate a bowl of melted cheese. Shut up. I was on vacation. The boyz went on after that back to 6th Street, but I elected to go back to the hotel because holy crap I was tired. 8 days of fun, but I was done. LOL. The flight back sucked. I was supposed to take off at 6:45 pm, but it was delayed over an hour, and I got to the airport at 4 pm, so I sat there what seemed like FOR-EV-ER. Thank God my morning was filled with a hot stone massage and a facial to relax me. Vacation was great fun, and Texas is cool, but I was very glad to come home. Nothing beats home. I love the beach, my pool, my mom and of course I missed little Magadog terribly. I've wanted to talk about Miss Maggie, but with Louie's passing, it seems too hard right now. Don't worry, I'm taking good care of my little girl.

Sorry about the delay in posting, but there has been something distracting me of late. ;-) I'll dish later. Maybe.

The Riverwalk ROCKS!!

2011-05-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

Love, Love, LOVED it! By far the best part of the trip, however I think I left my liver there. UG. A little hung over today. Despite what you may think, I don't actually drink that much, so when I decide to let loose...well...OUCH. So the next time you are there, you can't miss "Dick's Last Resort". Holy crap that place is hilarious! It is "service with an attitude", and how true that is! The waiters are too much - they make hats for you with nice little sayings (pictured..ha!) and if you are a guy ordering a girly drink, you get a "pussy cat" drawn on your cup! LOL!! I need to work there. The guy giving me the bird was the host. We took the little river boat tour, shopped, ate and drank. Great day!

San Marcos

2011-05-04T09:38:00.000-07:00

Spent the day in San Marcos. My friend Mario graduated from Texas State, so he wanted to go visit his old stpmping grounds. The campus is beautiful, and we had a huge lunch at "Grins" - a college town restaurant. Home of the .99 cent margaritas! Woo! Really cool place; relaxing with trees and foliage all around. I ordered the "hottest burger in San Marcos". I could totally handle it, no problem!! The H.E.B truck? Kind of an inside joke. It is a grocery store, but I call it "The HEB", and it is pronounced by each letter "H" "E" "B" - so Mario laughs every time we see the sign. I can't help it. LOL! Spent the remainder of the day at the pool and jacuzzi. Today we are headed to San Antonio! Leaving now...

The Salt Lick, Baby!

2011-05-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

So after getting lost in the backwoods of Driftwood, Texas, we found "The Salt Lick" Texas BBQ Ranch! Oh.My.God. YUM! Great food and a little live country band. :-) I had the 3-meat platter with beef brisket, ribs and sausage. I could seriously eat there every night considering my love of meat. It is freezing tonight and Mario is crashing at my hotel. We are watching the CNN coverage of Osama's death and eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Jalepeno Pringles. Good times! LOL Another funny thing...as we were driving back, Johnny Cash came on the radio singing "Walk the Line", to which Mario and I sang along. Classic.

The toilet paper pic...I found it disturbing that this is how much T.P. was in my stall. I was thinking...Oh God...what the hell is in the food!?! I also bought a Salt Lick T-shirt. Had to.

Feeling My Age

2011-05-01T15:25:00.000-07:00

OK, I've been going non-stop since I got here and am I TIRED. I slept a good portion of today because I experienced 6th Street last night and didn't get back to the hotel until dawn. They close the street, so there are 100's of people walking around bar hopping and partying. There is live music and food, too. I lost track of all the bars we went to - but I remember a few: Coyote Ugly, The Dirty Dog, and Besos. It was fun, but LOUD. I even got to experience a strip club. LOL The funniest part was every time I showed my ID to a doorman, they did a double take at my age, looked up at me and said "No fucking way!" Hehe..I think I like Texas. :-)

The night before we gorged on massive amounts of Italian food and yesterday before 6th Street we went to the Hula Hut. LOVE that place! You can get a Mai Tai in a FISH BOWL. Tonight is Texas BBQ, and tomorrow I'm not sure.

The weather is very strange here. It was 95 degrees at noon, and now it is 60 degrees. No shit. There could be thunderstorms tonight...oh please oh please oh please!! I would love to see a Texas storm!! Apparently Dallas has a severe thunderstorm warning, but I don't know if we will see anything here or not.