Sunday, April 22, 2012


No matter how good things are, there is always something bringing me down.  Why?  Is this just life?  Is there something wrong with me?  Does this only happen to me?  I have so many things to be thankful for.  My health, a great job, all my bills paid, a beautiful home with a pool, a cute dog, great family and friends who love me, the list goes on and on.  I guess I'm just frustrated.  I think I am mad at myself for letting someone into my heart.  I know he let me in too, but things just get so complicated when you get older.  So many things to consider.  Why is it so damn easy to express yourself and be carefree about love when you're young?  If we could only have the enthusiasm of youth again!  The boldness, the resilience, the fearlessness!

I don't know what is going to happen.  Not even a clue.  I meet and talk to men all the time.  I send some of them running with my strong personality and inability to be controlled, and some of them become good friends.  There is only one that has taken up residence in my heart.  I know how he feels, and I think he is even more afraid than I am.  It is so silly.  What are we so afraid of?

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