Friday, January 13, 2012

Motherly Advice

It is ex-fucking-hausting having two goddamned mothers.

Biological (Bio) Mom: You need to call the doctor.
Godmother (not fairy): You really should call the doctor.
Bio Mom: Have you called the doctor yet?
Godmother: Call the doctor on your lunch break.
Bio Mom: Don't forget to call the doctor.
Godmother: Why haven't you called the doctor?
Bio Mom: You really need to tell the doctor you aren't taking those pills anymore.
Godmother: Let me know what the doctor says.
Bio Mom:  When are you going to call the doctor?
Godmother: Did you get the link I sent you?  Show it to the doctor.
Bio Mom:  Why don't you schedule a Saturday appt.?
Bio Mom:  You haven't called the doctor, HAVE YOU?!?

Me:  Shut up!  Both of you!  The more ya'll bug me, the more I don't wanna call the doctor.  Leave me ALONE.

Bio Mom (on the phone with Godmother):  She just said the more we bug her, the longer she will take to call the doctor.  She says she hates doctors - they don't help - they just tell her to lose more weight and quit smoking.  I know!  Well it's her fucking life if she wants to be that way.

Me to the blogosphere:  Help me, please.

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