It is ex-fucking-hausting having two goddamned mothers.
Biological (Bio) Mom: You need to call the doctor.
Godmother (not fairy): You really should call the doctor.
Bio Mom: Have you called the doctor yet?
Godmother: Call the doctor on your lunch break.
Bio Mom: Don't forget to call the doctor.
Godmother: Why haven't you called the doctor?
Bio Mom: You really need to tell the doctor you aren't taking those pills anymore.
Godmother: Let me know what the doctor says.
Bio Mom: When are you going to call the doctor?
Godmother: Did you get the link I sent you? Show it to the doctor.
Bio Mom: Why don't you schedule a Saturday appt.?
Bio Mom: You haven't called the doctor, HAVE YOU?!?
Me: Shut up! Both of you! The more ya'll bug me, the more I don't wanna call the doctor. Leave me ALONE.
Bio Mom (on the phone with Godmother): She just said the more we bug her, the longer she will take to call the doctor. She says she hates doctors - they don't help - they just tell her to lose more weight and quit smoking. I know! Well it's her fucking life if she wants to be that way.
Me to the blogosphere: Help me, please.