Thursday, September 01, 2011

OH MY FUCKING GOD

Did I tell you about the whole mess I had with the California DMV?  Where I had to go back, like, 8 times and wait 3 hours because each time some stupid little thing was wrong?  Like, for instance my birth certificate says one thing and my old driver's license said another thing and I may have burned my marriage license and my divorce paperwork said I was going back to my maiden name, and so on and so forth.  So, then once they MADE me change back to my maiden name and gave me my license, they spelled my name wrong and I had to go through the WHOLE FUCKING PROCESS AGAIN.  It took me 20 minutes to explain to the English-is-my-second-fucking-language government worker that they spelled it CHERLY instead of CHERYL.  He did not see the problem.  It was like talking to someone who had just smoked an entire joint.  THEN, I had to go and RE-DO and re-pay-for my registration to be done in my maiden name because dumb me got that done first before they had a cow that I couldn't prove I had been married.

So, now that I have to change 60 million things into my new name with less than zero time to do it, I figured I would go next to the Social Security office.  Fuckers.  I had a 5 minute wait, ALL my paperwork, and GUESS WHAT?  "I'm sorry, but you need either the original or a certified copy of your divorce paperwork."   FUUUUUUCK!  The original got lost somehow in the move to California that I had a whole 3 weeks to do and everything was chaos.  So I had to call my lawyer who has to call the court and now I will have to wait another 3 weeks.  And then I will owe my lawyer more money, and they charge like, 50 dollars a minute.

Everything in my life is this way.  I will tell you what.  I'm keeping this name.  If I ever get remarried (stop laughing) I hope he is an understanding guy because I'M NOT DOING THIS AGAIN!!!

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