Life is so strange. It is an amazing trip. My new friend (Mario) said I was like an angel sent to him. A man who said he had no real "faith" told me today that I made him believe. He said meeting me, getting this interview - that I had already changed his life. He thanked me and said for the first time in his life he believed that lives cross paths for a reason.

I did not know what to say. It was pretty intense.

Mario is da best! He is so funny and super sweet. We were so chatty and laughing so hard that when I looked at my phone it was 2 in the morning!! I gave him a big hug and told him it was so nice to meet him and he said "that sounds weird". I asked him why and he said "because I feel like I've known you all my life!". Awww. We did hit it off and as soon as he gets the job where I work (I hope) we are gonna hit D-Land in style. I tried to take his pic and this is the best I could get because Mr. Model is SHY. We sat out on his balcony for a long while in the nice warm summer eve talking about everything. I got him an interview for Monday.

Today I'm out with a friend for her birthday and then will be chatting with my honey the rest of the evening.

Btw - the sunsets are incredible here!

Just got home too late to blog - will later today. Had a blast.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

OK, it is official. I am a completely paranoid, insecure freak. What happened? Texas Guy (Gary) and I have been, I guess what you call, developing a long distance relationship. We talk on the phone, email, chat on Yahoo, send pics back and forth, etc. (BTW, he has the most adoreable German/English accent EVER - he just moved to Texas from London; born in Germany.) It is sort of getting serious rather quickly. (Hence my fear, paranoia and running shoes ready.) Last night we were chatting on Yahoo and the conversation was getting very intense. It was going great and then he asked me something that I didn't know how to respond to (afraid I guess) - and I paused for about 2 minutes before writing a response. (Usually it is a very quick exchange) Before I had a chance to send it, he disappeared from chat. At first I thought he just got kicked offline or something and I waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing. I tried text messaging him to make sure nothing happened. Nothing. I called. Nothing. He ALWAYS answers my calls. I emailed. Nothing. About 2 hours later I'm figuring I blew it. He asked me something important and I didn't respond. I threw my hands up and said "well that's it! He's gone." I woke up at about 6 am which would be 8 am his time. Checked email, phone...nothing. Shit. Slammed my head into the wall and told the dogs I am hopeless. I hopped in the shower. While I was in the shower I hear my phone ding. I get out. Then my phone rings. It's Gary. He is panicked. Long story short he lost power due to a Texas storm and his daughter had his cell phone. He was all worried he has lost ME! I was so relieved. We laughed about how insecure we both were and all is good in Crazydogmama land. For now.

I'm gonna hang out with my new friend tomorrow (Mario) - my kindred spirit in humor. He makes me laugh so hard I can't breathe. He also loves Disneyland so now I have someone to go with regularly. I got him an interview at my company because his contract job is almost up, and we are going to have margaritas tomorrow while I walk him through our interview process. I need him to have money so we he can afford Disneyland you see. LOL I know what you are thinking, but seriously, as gorgeous as he is, he is not my type nor am I his type romantically. Typically our conversations go like this:

Him "Did you eat your oatmeal with protein powder?"
Me "No"
Him "Why not?"
Me "No time. Grabbed a coffee instead."
Him "Damnit woman! Then you will add 30 minutes to your workout today."
Me "I'm not working out today."
Him "Yes you are."
Me "No I'm not. I have cramps."
Him "Oh for fuck's sake..."
Me "I do! And I'm still sore from yesterday's workout!"
Him "I don't care, get your lazy ass up."
Me "Bite me."
Him "Don't tempt me."
Me "Bring it!"

LOL!!

A conversation I recently had with Gary:

Me "So what are you going to do with your house in London?"
Him "I don't know yet, we can decide that later."
Me (choking on my coffee) "We?"
Him "Well...yeah."

Something not so good happened. Well I don't really know what happened. I was going to post about it, but then decided not to. I really get tired of living sometimes. Things change minute to minute around here. Maybe I'll post later when I figure out what the hell...

OK so things are going well! Texas guy and I (ha that rhymes!) are doing splendidly (I have his picture as my phone's background LOL) and I think I just met a guy that will probably become my best friend. I met him him on the site, but after much talking and texting we are not necessarily a romantic match, but we get along so great! I just finished a two hour phone conversation with him and we are going to hang out on Saturday. He lives at Huntington Beach but he is from TEXAS. Of course. He is a body builder and an ex-model (I know!) but we made a deal - he is going to whip me into shape and I am going to show him how to be friendly. I know that sounds weird but he says he hates it here and he hates all the people here. I told him he just needs a different outlook and if he projects friendliness he will start to love it here like I do. (He moved here recently too). We are having completely different experiences and I am convinced it is his attitude. He said he trusts my advice, and I trust his, so we have a deal. I have a bizzare life don't I? LOL. My love interest however asked me today what he could do to win my heart. He said he would do anything. OMG. Melt...

I don't know whether to be excited or scared. When things seem too good to be true I want to run. I guess I just keep going along and see what happens - not putting all my eggs in one basket. I guess when the right one comes along, he'll stay.

I'm in trouble. He is for real. Mr. Texas and I have been talking non-stop since we met. He TURNED OFF HIS DATING PROFILE because he only wants to talk to me now. We know each other's life stories and neither of us ran eventhough we both have a sad tale to tell. He is perfect (to me). Oh Lord, what do I do? I've made myself vulnerable. He has too. I can't think! I can't remember the last time I felt this way. Have I ever felt this way? How did this happen so soon after joining that site? I thought I'd be sifting for months/years! I'm scared, but feeling ALIVE and HAPPY at the same time. I don't know where this is going or what will happen, but I'm stunned. And I can't wait for his call and email today. I am supposed to have a date on Sunday with someone else and I don't even care.

So this poor dude drove all the way down from Lake Elsinore in this old convertible corvette(he restores old muscle cars/sports cars,etc.)to meet me near my house and his alternator pops, leaving him stranded on the freeway. He calls me all upset. I'm telling him no worries - to just make sure he is OK and getting help. He tells me he will have the car towed back home, grab another car and come back out to meet me later in the evening. What a sweetheart! I told him that wasn't necessary, and that I would be happy to go out with him next weekend. He was so thrilled I wasn't mad. (Who would be mad? That's crazy.) He told me he wanted to grab coffee and if we hit it off, he wanted to drive me to the beach in his convertible and get our feet wet. Dang it! It's funny that he tells me his plans "if" we hit it off. Why would you tell your date that ahead of time? Men are silly! LOL!! So now that is the plan for next Sunday. Now I'm worried I will disappoint him with my big ass and won't get taken to the beach. :-( In the meantime I am totally enthralled with two other men with whom I am exchanging emails. I am liking the Texas guy a little too much. OMG he is a doll and a hottie. What the hell is he talking to me for?? The more I tell him what is wrong with me, the more he likes me. (Yes, I am a total idiot and do that sort of thing so that I don't mislead anyone.) Then the other one is just absolutely adoreable and tells me he will gladly relocate to be near me if I'm really for-real! These guys are telling me what a "find" I am. WTF?? I am SOOOO not used to this! Not so long ago I wasn't good enough for anybody...Feast or famine..SHEESH.

Well my date got postponed to later this evening, but I have been chatting and answering emails ALL day! This is fun!!! Who knew?? I should have done this a LONG time ago. Most of the guys I've been chatting with are local, but of course the ultimate hottie with lots of other awesome qualities is in TEXAS. What is with Texas? I have had more hits from Texas than anywhere else. Apparently I am attractive to Texans. Maybe its the big hair. LOL!

I'm all giddy dancing around the pool like a fruitcake.

Double OMG! I have a coffee date in a few hours...head spinning...heart racing...what the hell do I wear to a Java chip Frappucinno date? (His words!)

I just tripped over myself. Sheesh.

Um...match.com is AMAZING! I've had more interest in 24 hours than in the last year on the other sites! I'm already engaged in two intriguing conversations with very handsome and successful men!

Now THIS is more like it!! ;-)

I fell asleep in the sun and now I'm burnt on my chest. What a tard. I break out in welts when I lay in the sun too long. OUCH. So now I can't sleep. I've been online and now its time for my nightly swim. The dogs keep following me around in circles, it's funny, they get confused when I pace. So much for my "not going to date for a year". I just switched dating sites since the other one was frustrating the crap outta me. I don't think they had great quality men on that site to tell you the truth. I swear "Christian" sites have the most judgemental assholes I've ever met. I love the Lord with ALL of my heart and I don't think anyone I met there would know God if he bit them on the ass. (I sound so Godly don't I? LOL) So I cuss a little...I'm a Christian, not Christ. So I joined Match.com. They have a guarantee~! hahaha. I will hold them to it.

Lou likes to lay in the sun with me. :-) Mags explores the yard. I'm chillin' today. Doing nothing but relaxing, swimming, sunning and blogging. Going to make some iced tea. My mom is out with friends.

I've also decided that when my house sells (if it ever does), I'm going to celebrate and take myself to New Orleans. I really want to go there. Even if I have to go by myself. Just things I'm thinking about today.

OMG my mother almost set the house on fire. So at about 5 am I woke up to the smell of burning plastic. At first I thought my new air conditioner was pooping out, but no. It was a really strong smell accompanied by a little smoke. Neat. So I called my mom. Why get out of bed? LOL. She sheepishly answered. I said "Ma, is the house on fire?" (I'm not a panicker) She said "Uh, not anymore?" I told her the smell was choking me. She told me not to come down to the living room, and then nervously giggled. Yes, my mother. She got a kick out of the fact that I called her from my bedroom. Well fuck, it was 5 am on a Saturday! I rolled over and went back to sleep. ;-) She is going to be pissed I wrote about this on my blog. Hehe...

Halloween candy already? Really? Holy cow. And damnit now I want some! Hmmmm...the "killer" pack has Reses, Milky Way, Twix and Whoppers...

Better day today. I think one of my favorite things in the whole world is swimming at night looking at the stars. I know I mention it a lot, but it really is the coolest thing - especially when it is hot. It is refreshing, peaceful and fun. I am trying to make it a nightly routine before it cools off too much to do it. Although knowing me, I will do it anyway.

Made sweet and sour chicken stir fry tonight and it turned out pretty good. Work has been making me crazy, but I left ON TIME today and did NOT take my laptop with me. It is hard. I am a perfectionist and it takes time to make things right. I am missing my friends from home and my old co-workers, but I am making some new friends too. It takes time. Life has certainly changed a lot for me and I am trying to take in each moment. The last few days got the better of me, but I have to remember how far I've come. All of this has not been easy. Things aren't exactly the way I want them quite yet (they never will be...) but I am learning to just "be". A hard thing for a girl like me to do. I have a fantasy I allow myself to think on once in awhile, but reality is what you make it so I have to be careful with that. I'm looking forward to a nice weekend. Not sure what I'm going to do yet, but you'll be the first to know! ;-)

I really like the song I've chosen this week to play on the blog. It means something to me.

I think I know why I've been so grumpy - besides being overworked. I'm stressed, my house isn't selling and I've been avoiding the doctor. I got a call on the move down saying I needed testing right away and I haven't done it. Guess I better get on that. Haven't been feeling that great.

Okay, I went right to bed after my last entry feeling exhausted and frustrated. (To say the least!) It was good riddance to a bad day. I just woke up - can't sleep anymore. It is muggy and hot so I am going to go downstairs to have some orange juice, take a swim and watch the sunrise with the pups. I want to start today out on a positive note.

I just had the day from hell. HELL. Traffic was a nightmare. I had an appointment with the DMV to get my Cali license and I circled the parking lot for 45 minutes trying to get a parking space to no avail missing my appointment and leaving me cussing. I spilled my lunch down the front of my WHITE blouse, everything I touched at work had a problem, our electronic doc system went down and I lost my work, nobody would leave me alone - even when I tried to sit and have a coffee, the dinner I cooked turned out like shit and I want to know where in the holy hell my knight in shining armor is that is supposed to rescue me from all of of this!!? I would love to just fall into his arms right now. I'd have better luck winning the lotto I think. BLAH!!

The capper for the day...

I stopped at a little mini mart on the way home. There were 3 punk kids blocking the door harassing people. Normally I would take the safe route and drive to another one, but not today. I was in NO mood to be any more inconvenienced. I got out of my car with a ball point pen in my hand, slammed the door, walked over to the entrance like my feet were mad at the ground (with high heels on) sporting a pissed-off look on my face. The three punks looked over my way, backed away from the door and didn't utter a peep. Smart of them. I was ready to jam that pen into someone's neck if anyone tried to touch me.

I really need to start another blog: "shitmymomsays.com"

So tonight we went to Lucille's BBQ and she asks me "So when are you starting your Xbox thing?"

My Xbox thing?!?

I said "Are you referring to P90X extreme home fitness?"

She said "Yeah whatever it is..."

ROFLMAO!!!

If this doesn't kill me, nothing will....

My P90X stuff came the other day. I'm both excited and nervous to get started. I'm famous for starting and then quitting things, and I'm trying to break that cycle. I know I won't drive to a gym, so I think this is a good alternative for me. I'm also not exactly the Richard Simmons type of exerciser either...LOL. This is serious, hard-core stuff. No pansies!! There are two people at work who I found out are just starting it too, so I have accountability and people to talk about it with - which always helps. I did "Body for Life" that way, but that was what these people call the "baby starter kit". Do you believe I can do it?. I'm always tired, so the challenging part will be to not want to take a nap instead. I can get all sweaty in the comfort of my living room, then go jump in the pool to cool off. Root for me, I'm gonna need it!

A night at the Beach

I spent the evening down at Laguna Beach for sunset dining at C'est La Vie (I had an amazing Chateaubriand and Cabernet!), shopping at Chico's (new bag, sunglasses and jewelry) and a gourmet espresso that burnt my tongue. I had a fabulous time with my mom, but too bad it wasn't a night of passion! Pffft! :-) I'm outta my funk now, thanks for the advice Lea!

This is the second day in a row I've been in a funk. It stinks. Tell me, when you are in a funk, how do you snap yourself out of it? Let me know, I'm interested. Here is another game I stole from a fellow blogger - it's called finish this sentence. "If I could have done one thing differently in my life, I would have..."

Let me see your answers in comments or emails. Pretty please? I need some cheering up.

Thanks.

I'm in a bad mood today. Some days I just want to quit my job and be a beach bum or something. Work invades everything. How did this happen? I climb the corporate ladder, become moderately successful and now all I do is work. I can't even take a four day weekend. I never intended to be a workaholic. Not at all. In fact I think there is so much more to life. Right now you could say things are going well for me, but I'm lacking what I want most. My soul kind of...aches. I try to motivate myself but I end up caring less and less. Every time I try to care about someone, everything goes nuclear on me. I'm not alone on this. I talked to a woman in a store the other day - for quite awhile actually. She is 45 and in the same boat I'm in, as well as all her friends. She is drop-dead gorgeous and she said there is just crap out there for men. Her friends say the same thing. One of her friends is a model and no longer dates at all. Not a good prognosis. I thought I found someone once a few years ago, a very special person, but...mushroom cloud. That is why I decided maybe I ought to just focus my attention elsewhere for awhile. I feel burnt out, though.

Yeah, unless this guy comes knockin', I think I'm taking a year off dating. I'm gonna do some soul searching. (Holy crap he's hot - from the cast of "True Blood")

Extreme Home Fitness, Laguna Beach and Las Brisas

I just joined the world of P90X now that I've lost 47 pounds. Time to get serious. For those of you who know about P90X, you know what I'm about to embark on. For those of you who don't, look it up. It is a pretty amazing program.

Went to Laguna Beach today with my friends from NJ and had some yummy seafood at the awesome Las Brisas right on the ocean. Back to work tomorrow, but seeing that I worked a bunch at home due to an influx of panic emails, I may as well have been there. :-/

I am so frustrated with the world of dating right now I could puke. I don't even want to talk about it.

More cute pics!

I had such a great weekend. I talked to my best girlie friend today and she said I love kids more than I let on. I guess I do. I love big families. Maybe the guy I end up with (if that happens) will have some and make our family bigger. I'm such a big goof ball. Part of me is really having fun and discovering myself, and part of me is craving a really good relationship with a man who loves me for me. That, and I need some really good SEX. LOL! I have a life now, let's get on with it already! hehe...

Took the kids to airport tonight :-( and my mom will be going back to Seattle soon. I will be all by my lonesome again.

Picture Extravaganza!

As I was telling you, my step son (Bill) and his girlfriend (Erica) came down to visit for a few days. We've been swimming and went to Disneyland. We ate at the Blue Bayou restaurant and the Monte Cristo was amazing!! The kids LOVED it. This has been so great - I feel so blessed. My family keeps getting bigger and bigger. I made my famous and requested "Cheryl Pasta" and bbq'd steaks as well. Tomorrow I'm making a big breakfast for everyone. I love cooking and having lots of people at the table! There are many more good times to be had here - I can't wait for the holidays now!

The Crazies at Disneyland...

My former boss (Helen) and I went to D-land on Monday night and had such a blast. She is way more fun outside of work. LOL! Splash Mountain broke down on us right before the big drop (bummer!!) and we had to exit our logs. Helen touched the wall and was very surprised it was made out of paper-like fuzzy stuff and not plastic or contrete. Weird! While we were waiting, we took pics of ourselves. Great night!

The OC Fair 2010! Hangin' out and havin' fun with the guys from work.

My feet are going to fall off. OMG. I am too old to be at Disneyland for 15 hours. BED.

Oh, and I may have been mistaken about Mike - he didn't disappear. I think I'm a bit pessimistic about men sticking around; they like to disappear on me. I sent the kids (stepson and his girlfriend) off to go get some fast passes for some rides while I sat and checked my email, and just as I see 2 emails come in from Mike, MY PHONE DIES. Of course. I'm such a tard. I'm all "NOOOO! NOT NOW!". LOL I was a little down today, even at Disneyland, until I saw that. We did all have a great time, but it is hard being a third wheel (if you know what I mean), even as a sudo-parent.

I'm still working on the pics.

Going to Disney - big smile! And me with my annual pass! Wheeeeee!

Just when you start to really like a guy...they disappear. Yup. Story of my life. I don't think I said anything to scare him, so...ok. Whatever. Moving on I guess...again. The whole dating thing is just WEIRD. And frustrating. You start talking online, or wherever, and then POOF. I know when I've done or said something stupid, but I didn't this time. I don't think. :-/ Perhaps I am mistaken, but it happens like this frequently online. Usually they just become obsessed with someone else. They always say they hate games and drama, but I swear, THEY are the ones that create it. Fuck 'em. I'm going to Disneyland tomorrow, hangin' out by the pool and having a bbq on Sat. and Sunday, then meeting up with friends on Monday. Four day weekend! Woooo! Finally! His loss.

I've really gotta get a new adapter for my pics - I have some great ones! SOON!

A mouse jumped in the pool today. I was so enthralled it didn't occur to me to take a pic. They are good little swimmers. :-) I'm not afraid of rodents, I think they are kinda cute.

I worked from home today so that I could get some work done! Everyone bombards me when I'm at the plant. I'm still tired.

I got home from work tonight, plopped on the couch, and the last thing I remember is waking up 5 minutes ago. GEEZ. Guess I needed some sleep? I am so stiff from running around Disneyland I can barely walk, and while I was sleeping, I missed phone calls, emails, all kinds of things. I have lots of company coming and now I'm down to one day to get ready. Well, I suppose they aren't coming to see my bathroom, huh? Let's hope not! LOL Crap.

I will get pics up ASAP, but I have to buy a new adapter for my camera to get them onto the computer. My other one went TU. I should be able to do that in my spare time. HA. I think they believe I'm super human at work. Someone needs an earful of how I'm not. I guess I'm going to have to threaten someone for a day off. How am I going to build any kind of relationship with someone if I can barely get time to go pee? Have I told you how sweet Mike is? God, I feel like I'm 15 again...

The fair was fun, Disneyland was awesome - stay tuned for goofy pics and funny stories. I am dead and have to go to work in a few hours so I don't have time to blog I promise to do lots later. I have not had one second to spare.