Saturday, July 31, 2010
I've been a little...busy. :-) It was bound to happen sooner or later; I'm smitten. Mike. Gorgeous blue eyes, tall, handsome and sooooo sweet. Loves God. He lives a few hours from here so I don't know what will happen, but we are getting to know each other online. He has a big heart and thinks I'm beautiful. He told me "there is something special about you". My heart did a flip-flop. Haven't had THAT feeling in a long time. I'm trying not to get too excited, but it is hard not to [finally] be hopeful. I am afraid of course, but life is what it is. Can't be afraid to live it.
I'm going to the Orange County Fair today (leaving in an hour) with some new friends at work. I wish Mike was going! I'm taking my good camera so there should be some pics posted soon. My old boss is coming to see the new plant Monday and Tuesday, and when I asked her where she wanted to go to dinner she said "Disneyland!". Soooo, I'm taking her to D-land Monday night! Wheeee! I bought my annual pass yesterday. Next week the kid comes to visit and my friend from NJ after that. Lots of fun to be had! Going to be in the 80's today so I'll probably get sunburnt at the fair. :-)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I didn't call my date back because I just wasn't "feelin' it". I can usually tell right away. When I DO feel something, it doesn't manifest. Frustrating. Perhaps I should marry my laptop - I touch it more than anything else...LOL! It sucks at foot rubs though...
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
I need some sleep.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The IT guy at work keeps saying how much he is looking forward to the OC fair and Disneyland. Too cute.
The remodeling is going well, but having the house torn apart all the time is maddening. The contractor is working on the guest bedroom now since I am having guests soon. I don't want to take pics until I have stuff put away in the rooms, so be patient with me. :-) My bedroom looks AWESOME, the office is painted now and the crown moulding is going in there tomorrow maybe? My bathroom is done except for cleaning and putting my excessive bath products away. I have a new air conditioner for my room - one with a hose instead of going in the window. The house air conditioning is being fixed, but it doesn't cool down the upstairs bedrooms very well so I need the extra one so I don't die. I can't wait until I can have a balcony built with french doors and stairs going down to the pool from my bedroom. That is the plan, but it has to wait. That will be the last thing. But HOW COOL WILL THAT BE??? My own private paradise.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The IT guy is too young (31) and the Validation guy is moving back East when his contract is done. Oh well. Friends are good. Not the right time, not the right person(s).
Frozen pizza for dinner. LOL
The capper? The VP from Corporate is visiting and I had to intro myself to the staff. Super day.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Had a really good day at work. Why? Well...let's see. I have been invited by some new friends to the OC (Orange County) fair and when I stood up from my desk, put my hands on my hips and addressed the trailer "Who wants to go to Disneyland with me?" - I got a very enthusiastic IT (Information Technology) guy raise his hand and say "ME!". So it looks like I'm going to start having some fun. Then I had one of the Validation guys asking me how to treat his sunburn. Yes, it makes sense, no? A California guy raised in Arizona inquiring about sunburn care from someone who lived in Washington State for 33 years. Hmmm.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
I caught up on work today (blah) and layed out for a bit. Had a tuna melt for dinner and now I'm alphabetizing my cd's and finally putting them away. Not an exciting day.
His tongue was pale grey yesterday and now today he is walking funny. I've been trying to carry him up and down the stairs because of his condition, but sometimes you just can't control a Cairn Terrier. I jumped online and found a new vet and had the records transferred. We have an appointment at 11 am. I'm beside myself. So worried. I can't lose my Lou. I CAN'T. Not now. He is like a child to me. I didn't know you could love a dog so much. I need a hug. I need someone to hold me and tell me it's going to be OK.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
A Holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'
The Lord led the holy man to two doors.
He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.
In the middle of the room was a large round table..
In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew,
which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.
The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.
They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.
But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.
The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell. They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.
There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.
The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.
The holy man said, 'I don't understand.
'It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill.
You see, they have learned to feed each other.
The greedy think only of themselves.'
When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Not only am I down 44 pounds total now, but I had acne issue on a particular part of my body that is almost completely gone now! Between the sun, a chlorinated pool and a really good dermatologist, buh bye ugliness!
And hellooo! I'm workin' on a great tan too!!! ( It was 98 degrees today.) So I'm happy about those things.
Had a steak sandwich for dinner that was SOOO good, but now it is really muggy, and if I had a raft, I would sleep in the pool.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
1. OK, I'll keep believing in love if you insist....some day I will dance on the beach with "The One", just like the song playing...
2. Have you ever discovered that you have been lying to yourself? It is a bit of an epiphany I guess. Over the years I have thought about and told myself why I write in this blog. A few different answers have come out. The actual truth of why hit me not so long ago, and there is only one real reason I still write here. The reason I started the blog differs from why I continue to write in it. Maybe some day I will reveal it, but for now it is just for me to know. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
3. I just bought a cute new blouse, necklace and shoes - pictured below.
Time for my nightly swim before I turn in.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Q: "Why don't you believe in love anymore?"
A: I guess I should have written that better. I do believe love exists, and of course there are different kinds of love - Family/Kids/Pets/Friends vs. Romantic. I know true love is real, but what I was trying to say was that the kind of love that is supposed to happen in "romantic love" has somehow been [partly] destroyed in our society. It is a selfish, self-centered world hell-bent on instant gratification and the propensity to "bail" when one becomes "unhappy". There is a lack of commitment and sacrifice. I see it everywhere, and unless you live in a fantansy world, you know its true. My problem is that me finding someone outside of this human condition in our present era is statistically very low, and the chances of heartbreak are very high. I haven't given up, but I know the odds are against me. I also don't want someone with me (and vice versa) just because they don't want to be lonely. People can be very deceiving and will sometimes go to great lengths to get what they want. I'm just being realistic, that's all. God can do anything though, so I'm just trusting in Him.
Q: "Why do you think all of these people are "looking for something" on your blog? Isn't that a little paranoid?"
A: Well...perhaps, but one of them is my ex husband's buddy who was feeding my ex info from my blog during our divorce (I know that for a fact out of the ex's mouth), and now that all of that is over and my ex is remarried, it is beyond me what he is going to my blog to find out. I actually have a suspicion, but I can't say publicly. I seriously doubt he "just wants to know what I'm up to." The others are old coworkers that I was not particularly close to and never even told about my blog. They obviously saw it up on my computer screen at work and started visiting, but I can tell you right now neither one of them give a rat's ass about my life - and I can't help but wonder if there is an ulterior motive - especially when one signs on from across one part of the country one minute - then the other minutes later from the opposite side of the country. Obviously some talking (gossiping?) going on there. WEIRD. Sorry if that's offensive, guys, but it is weird to me. So, anyway, I thought I would say hello to them. :-) No answer of course.
Q: How do you know when someone goes to your blog??
A: That's my secret, sorry. ;-) Remember, the internet is NOT a secure place.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
On a different note, it got really stuffy in here tonight. The air conditioner needs to be fixed, so once I got too hot, I went out for a nice swim. I could see the stars and it brought back sweet memories of when my grandpa and I used to float on our backs and he would point out the constellations to me. I miss those times. Times when life was so effortless and everything was new and exciting. I almost purchased an annual pass to Disneyland today. I will soon. I am trying to embrace my inner child again and forget about all the pain. I'm almost myself again. There are still some old demons clamoring about, but I'll beat them.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Thursday, July 08, 2010
That is probably my favorite movie right now. I liked it before, but ever since my life turned upside down, that movie has become like an old friend. There are so many parts of it that I can relate to, and I feel much like the main character. I had to call a home theater installation specialist to hook up my Bluray surround system because I don't have my awesome neighbor anymore to come to my rescue and I want it working properly. He can't get out here until the 14th and I'm going bonkers because I can't watch any DVD's and am stuck with regular TV. 450 channels and nothing on. I also ordered one of those "universal" remote controls. They are supposed to be awesome, so we'll see. For $500 w/programming, it better be able to do my fucking taxes. I could watch a movie on my laptop I suppose, but that seems so barbaric. haha.
So far, I really love it here. Work is going great, I love the pool and the sunshine and I'm enjoying seeing Palm trees everywhere I go instead of Evergreens. It's funny - it is 100 degrees in WA right now and only in the 70's here, but it still feels different. It is pleasant and somehow serene to me. I can't explain it. Maybe because the surroundings are new and there is not an old ghost around every corner. The house is a challenge. The remodel is going to take a LONG time and I don't feel like things are in order - or will be any time soon, but it keeps me busy. (Just like in the movie!) I guess there is an interested party in my house in WA already, so I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed! It is so hard to sell it, but I have to. Growing pains. The downside to all of this is the incredible lonliness. I feel like I'm going to become this old maid and die with a bunch of dogs around me. It's hard to trust anyone, and with all the work I have to do, I don't have any kind of a social life right now. I don't even have anyone to go to Disneyland with until my step son comes to visit in August.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
I have so many unanswered questions in my life. They haunt me. If I were dead I'd be a restless soul.
I was also referred to as an "OC" girl today. I'm all HUH? Then it came to me and I rolled. Guess the definition of an "OC girl" is changing...