Monday, May 31, 2010
NOT relaxing. At all. But I did get a big chunk of my moving list done. The next week will be full of calls, more packing and sorting, making the house livable for the time being (getting everything out of the kitchen), getting rid of the leftover garage sale stuff and my "Bon Voyage" party is this Friday. My AWESOME friends Annie and Mick are throwing it for me and I am overwhelmed at their suggestion and willingness to do something like this for me. My poor mom will be invaded by all my friends for a night of food, drink, laughing and saying goodbye.
Life is so weird right now. I feel like everything has been turned upsidedown for 2 and a half years - but especially the last year. One day I'm fine, one day I fall apart, but I keep going somehow. Going through life's traumatic experiences and being alone teach you all about who you are and what you're made of. Some things you want to see, some things you don't, and sometimes you are totally surprised at what you see. I think I'm on autopilot right now because my brain is on overdrive.
My life has gone in some crazy directions, and I have a feeling there are twists and turns yet to come.
Hope you all had a nice holiday weekend.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
I've hired two people for my team on the new job so far. It is strange being the one who "hires" people. Let's hope I picked the right people!!
Can't think of much more to say at the moment so I'll just go to bed. Goodnight.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Got a four-day weekend here to finish up the garage sale and get the carpet in (hopefully). Moving day is getting closer and closer. I have no food in the house and I'm seriously hungry, so job 1 is going to get something to eat...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?
You're killing me here! Even my therapist agrees there is something to it. And he is a male therapist. Enlighten me.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I won an award this morning from my department as being "the most helpful, friendly and dedicated employee". I almost cried. It is going to be hard to leave such a great group of people who actually like me. ;-)
Speaking of work - I guess I better go do some.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
The very last episode of LOST is on tonight - I'm going to miss it so much!! They'd better answer all my questions!
Until tomorrow my peeps...
Friday, May 21, 2010
So I got my ass in gear Thursday. I took the day off work because the dogs had to get their teeth cleaned and the carpet guy came out to give me an estimate. So, took dogs to vet, got Windows 7 at Staples, went to the post office and bank, got a coffee, got garage sale signs, called "Geek Pros" to fix my computer (internet went down and I kept getting too many error messages), weeded through the house for all the sale items and put them in the garage, did the laundry, made myself dinner and crashed. Tonight I am pricing everything and rearranging the garage. I am DAMN tired and all sweaty. My neighbor came over and helped me move the big furniture out THANK GOD. My back hates me now, though, and I will be very sore tomorrow.
The house looks weird. There's hardly anything in it. I have my laptop on my dining room table because all there is in my office is books, DVDs and craft supplies (all on the floor). In my front room all I have is a small chair in front of my electric fireplace and TV. Nothing on the walls. By tomorrow, my bedroom will only have a mattress on the floor (because the mattress is new) and clothes stacked against the wall. I feel like a poor college student. LOL
So there you have it. Progress. I even changed all the burnt out lighbulbs, which I ever so gracefully dropped. They shattered all over the frigging place and I was screaming at the dogs to get away, which of course didn't work and they walked right in the middle of it. *sigh*.
I better make some money at this sale because everything costs a small fortune. A $900 vet bill, $1900 for carpet, $600 to get the fence fixed, 100$ for the computer guy...yada yada yada.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Yes, I am my own Nike commercial. I had to have a serious talk with myself after last night. I told myself to get up off my ass and JUST DO IT. I am going to be assuming a leadership role in my new job, and thus cannot be such a wuss.
Stuff is just stuff. It doesn't mean anything. People mean something, not stuff.
Tonight's agenda is to move more furniture to the garage for the sale.
MMA Workouts are not Just for Men
By Alexia Krause
Mixed martial arts appears to be a male dominated sport, yet the number of women who are becoming part of the MMA community is continually growing. There are many female MMA fighters (including Kaitlyn Young and Gina Carano), who follow the same rigorous regimens as their male counterparts. These inspiring ladies have broken open the doors to what used to be the "boy's club" of MMA. They use the same techniques, MMA equipment, and exercises that most fighters would use. MMA training has the ability to help women stay fit while participating in a competitive and exhilarating sport.
A MMA workout may sound intimidating. However, with the right frame of mind, guys and girls alike can use it to their advantage. MMA workouts train the whole body as one unit, which is a great way to keep the body moving and in shape. A normal training session can include cardio sprints, jumping jacks, and accelerated core workouts. The training of a fighter is a daily endeavor and requires more dedication than a couple visits to the gym each week. Additionally, whether you are a beginner to regular exercise, or supplementing an existing, more advanced routine, these exercises certainly pack a noticeable punch.
On a more serious note, it’s a known fact that men are generally bigger than women by nature and therefore, women are prone to planned attacks from men because they can be considered an easier target. However, with the proper self-defense tactics, you can help even-out the fight. For this reason, a lot of women seek out self-defense classes. The added bonus of self-defense training is the exercise that the individual gets by taking part in the classes. Most people don’t consider the fact that self-defense training is a great way to exercise while increasing your resiliency at the same time. Additionally, MMA exercise routines often include simulated fight training to teach proper self-defense techniques that will be utilized during a match. Therefore, anyone looking for self-defense classes, or an intense exercise routine, or both, might want to check out MMA training. Keep in mind, there is no reason to be nervous about getting hurt because in order to actually train properly, exercises and simulated fights involve the use of MMA gear to prevent a potential injury.
Alexia has a true enthusiasm for writing articles related to mixed martial arts and fitness. As a result, she joined up with MMA Industries- retailers of highly popular MMA shirts and gear. Alexia has been blogging about the latest trends in MMA equipment for the past few years, and continues to provide you with the latest news in the MMA universe.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
My boss in Seattle is making me stay a week longer before giving me up to my new boss. LOL Also, I haven't moved, or even started my new position yet and I'm already scheduled to do interviews to put my team together. So, I'm now leaving Seattle on June 24th instead of the 16th - BUT, I don't have to start my new job until July 12th, so that gives me more days off and more time to pack. There are seriously not enough hours in the day. I'm averaging 4 hours of sleep a night with all the things I have to do. This whole "independent woman" thing SUCKS at the moment. I have to move all the big furniture by myself (for the garage sale). Bah!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
I am trying this skin out, I was getting sick of the old one. I'm starting to like making changes. ;-) I added music, which will probably annoy all of you, but that's my job. To annoy you. If you don't like it, you can go to the bottom and shut it off.
I am starting to go through all my stuff. Ug. I have too much stuff. I think I will like "downsizing" actually, it makes life simpler and more organized. First order of business is getting everything I am going to sell into the garage, and throwing stuff out. That is the task this week - and I am having a garage sale the next two weekends in a row. This will be the biggest job, so I want to get it out of the way first.
I have to keep telling myself it will all be OK. To stop stressing. This is a lot for one person to handle - especially with all the crap that I've been through, but I have to do it. No choice. As soon as I start having a panic attack, I just sit down and concentrate on my breathing. Which I'm having to do a lot.
After a good night's sleep, I am feeling a little better. Sometimes I have moments that seem to summarize things in a way that overwhelms me. That's normal, right? But we let go and push ahead! I must admit, it is hard to get rid of most everything in my life and start new. It is a necessary step in my life, however, but "pruning" can be painful. It will pass. Everything does. Life goes on and I am going with it. I think my problem is things are happening fast and I don't have much time to think about it; which is probably a good thing. The timing of how everything has come together for me is interesting, though. It is perfect. The order of events and their timing has been perfect. It is meant to be.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Took Mags to the Vet this morning. It is always an an adventure to take her in the car. As you can see, she is nice and calm and relaxed while we are en route on the highway, but the video shows what happens when I park and pull the emergency brake up. I KNOW. I asked for doggie valium for the drive to California so that I don't chuck her out the window. Taking mama-san out for a lobster dinner! Mmmm. Maybe pics later. :-)
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Called my friend who is a real estate agent to start the home selling process. Made an appointment with movers to come give me an estimate on Monday. Started making a list of ALL the things I need to do before I leave and realized it is going to be a small miracle if I can do it. Had freakout attack. Recovered. Went to dinner with mom to discuss how I'm going to get all this done. Called lawyer because I still haven't received the deed to the house and I need it. Tried to figure out a good bribe to get my neighbor to help me fix the fence. Money and beer usually works. Thanked God for all that He has given me and all that He has helped me get through and proceeded to ask Him to not let me lose it during the next month of chaos. Got a little teary-eyed for who knows what reason. Recovered. Tried to figure out why I drank an espresso at 8pm at night when I have to get up at 5am. Sat in silence for a good 20 minutes trying to soak all of this in. Looked around the house. Put my hands on my head and groaned. Recovered. Answered emails. Talked to my ex's ex for an hour (I have an odd life) to give her the scoop and my new info because I will be living only an hour from where my stepson is going to college in the fall. (Yay!) Gave myself a pep-talk that everything is going to be great and that the best is yet to come.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
My company is giving me an UNBELIEVABLE relocation package. My jaw hit the floor. Won't be costing me a dime to move by a long shot!! I'm just going to hire movers and packers and kick back! I'm going to have a big garage sale in the next few weekends to "prune" my stuff. Only the good stuff goes with me...I will buy new later! My raise blew me away too. I'm not going to know how to act!
Anyway, I will officially be a Californian on June 17th (leaving the 16th) and I start my new position on the 28th. AAAAHHH!!!
Thanks for all the great comments! I love you all! I of course will be blogging the adventures in moving...
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
They want me there in about 3 weeks. Moved. In 3 weeks. To California. I got a 25K/yr raise. I am paralyzed with excitement and fear at the same time. I can barely think, let alone type. I will have to blog later when the shock wears off.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Can't read this one. I don't feel 100% confident, but I think it went well. He was a tough interviewer - I answered some questions spot-on, and others I struggled with. ARG. I want to know right now damnit! Perhaps I need to work on my patience skills.
Hurry up and wait.
Sunday, May 09, 2010
I made my mom her favorite dish that I make - quattro formaggi mezzaluna ravioli in a garlic parmesan cream sauce with jumbo shrimp and a greek salad (pictured below). It turned out pretty good. I also got her a mani/pedi gift certificate because she NEVER does stuff like that for herself. I also brought her an iced coffee. What did you do for your mother if you were able to spend time with her?
The picture of me is circa 1987(?) in the very backyard of the house I may be moving into this summer. I'm a little nervous about the second interview tomorrow. It seems like there is a REALLY good chance for me to get this job and I'm excited, but terrified at the same time. It will be VERY overwhelming to sell my house, sell most of my stuff and move to another state - all while trying to start a new position with a lot more responsibility. Not only that, but I've decided to go back to my maiden name and there will be paperwork up the ying yang for that, PLUS moving to a new state. It will also be SUPER fun taking a driving test after 22 years. I haven't gotten the job yet, but just thinking about this stuff freaks me out. It will be a whole new life for me. If you had told me two years ago that my life would be at this crossroads, I wouldn't have believed it. I actually remember blogging over a year ago "I wonder what will be happening this time next year?" HA. It goes to show you that you can't know where your life is going to go. Never say never. Anything can change at any time. I never thought I would live in California, I never thought I would be successful in a career, I never thought I would be single at 38 and I never thought I would be able to get through everything I've been through. Maybe its my time now. Maybe after all the struggles, all the heartache and all the loss, it is my time to live. I'm sure this is not the only change life has in store for me - just when I think nothing else could possibly change...BOOM. Who knows, I may NOT get the job, I just don't know. But I do know that no matter what, NOTHING stays the same.
You should do what I did. Right now. Write down where you think your life will be in a year, and then stash it someplace safe. Then, put in on a calendar to look at in exactly a year and see how close you were. I bet you are WAY off. You may not have big life changes like me, but I bet some things will happen over the course of the year you weren't expecting at ALL. It is interesting, try it.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
It wasn't as bad as I remember. It hurt, yes, but when he said he was done, I was all "Really? That was nothing!". He laughed. I really love how it turned out - the cover-up is awesome. I let the artist do what he wanted, although I did say no to getting a snake going through a skull. ROFLMAO. I have SWIRLIES now! I like swirlies. I am very happy with it. Of course the first thing that happened when I got home is the dogs jumped all over it and I screamed NO!...OFF!...OMG OFF! They want to lick my wound, and, um, NO. Gross.
I have turned a few corners now, and am awaiting my Monday, or possibly Tuesday news.
I think I need a glass of wine. My ankle is a bit sore.
Pics later after the crying and cussing. I have to go act like a badass now, excuse me...
Friday, May 07, 2010
I emailed the person I interviewed with today to thank her for her time and ask a few questions I did not have time to ask. Specifically I asked when they want the position to start, if there would be anymore interviews other than this one and when she would be making a decision. She replied quickly with: Need someone ASAP, there is an interview set up for you with another director on Monday at 10 am, and the decision will be made as soon as that interview is over. She also said she is hoping to have me join their team! HOLY CRAP. IF this interview goes well on Monday, I will be transferring to the California plant ASAP as the new Supervisor of my department!!!
I can't sit still. I might be putting my house on the market next week! I would probably lose my ass in this economy, but how is exciting is THIS??? OK I don't want to jinx this so I'll shut up about that now.
I'm getting my tattoo redone/changed tomorrow at 4pm. I'm nervous. I'm not big on pain.
I have a new theme song for this week. I want to do it all. I AM going to do it all (my way!)
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Anyway, I guess you all want to know about my interview, huh? It went great. After a crappy few days I wasn't exactly bringing my A-game, but it turned out well. The new director is spunky and fun - not at all what I was expecting. She said the other person she wants to hire (the person I would be reporting to) was someone she knows and said she could tell from my personality that we would get along great. I think that is a pretty good indication that I'm definitely in the running. I don't know who my competition is (they won't tell me) but I felt good about how I presented myself. I make a point to never be fake, but to express myself exactly how I am and what I can do. She seemed impressed. HR contacted me later in the day and said they wanted to set up another interview next week with someone else. I'm just going with the flow...waiting to see what life is going do next. BRING IT! lol
There is something I have learned lately that I will share. It is the concept of reality. Not existentialism or anything (ha!), but about what "reality" we create in our minds. Our thinking. What we think, or what "reality" we create for ourselves, determines how our life goes. It affects our mood, our emotions, our decision making - everything. The problem comes when the reality we create isn't actually "real". Deep shit, I know. I don't think I am explaining it well, so here is an example. Two people witness the same event. One of them thinks it has a great, positive outcome, and the other thinks it is a tragedy or horrible mistake. It is a very real feeling or interpretation for each person, but who is correct? Both. Neither. It is only perception and their reaction to it - and it affects each one differently, possibly a life changing perception. I'm starting to learn how to change my own reality. It is quite fascinating. It doesn't mean there are not facts or truths (e.g. the event was just the event), it just means how we look at them can be extremely important. Another example: If a child goes through a situation where their mother and father divorce, and the child goes to live with one parent, that child may grow up thinking that the other parent abandoned them. The fact may be that the parent without the child had no choice in the matter, but nevertheless, abandonment is the reality for the child until they change their reality.
What in the hell am writing this for? LMAO! I have no idea...just writing. Did your eyes roll to the back of your head?? Didn't mean to get all philosophical on ya...
Get! Go on! Here are my new sunglasses:
Monday, May 03, 2010
I have my interview on Thursday with the Director - but then it will be hurry up and wait. Which I totally suck at. But in the meantime, I set up an appointment for my tattoo job. I'm getting my rose-piercing-the-heart touched up (I designed that myself! and it has to do with my faith) and well...I think I'm going to have to go with some more roses or something on the bottom where the name is because "cover-ups" are difficult apparently, and laser removal is SUPER expensive and painful. Forget THAT. Flowers are more feminine anyway. ;-) So, in ALL ways, this will be a painful week. LOL
Sunday, May 02, 2010
My mom and I were chatting on the phone Saturday night, and after about an hour I said "This is stupid, why don't I just come over?" She agreed. So I threw the pups in the car with an overnight bag and we went to see 'grandma'. (That's what I tell the pups and they get all excited. LOL) We watched a movie (A walk in the Clouds) and then went to bed. Sunday we got up and went to breakfast at Denny's (I had the prime rib & eggs skillet..mmm) and then went shopping after I said this: "You know how material things only give you temporary happiness?" My mom said "Yes.", then I said "Let's go get some temporary happiness!" She said "Okay!!" So we went shopping. She bought a ring, I bought some new sunglasses (like I needed more of those) and we both got some makeup. Had a great time. Went back to her place, took a nap, got up and grabbed dinner and watched another movie "He's Just Not That Into You". Movie was too funny. It was obviously chick flick weekend. I'm back home now getting a load of laundry done and paying the bills.
I don't know what day next week I have the interview for the Cali position, but I'm anxious for it. I have zero patience. I want to know NOW. It's funny, I'm going on vacation in a month to the place I might end up living in. Guess I'll have to find a new vacation spot!! I cancelled my eHarmony subscription (shut up) not only because I'm sick of it, but I'm thinking I probably shouldn't date anymore until I figure out where I'm going to be living. Haha.
It is so weird how everything has changed so much for me in such a short amount of time. But you know, I'm doing pretty good. I feel like things are really looking up. I do wish I had a special someone to share this exciting time with, but I believe he will come. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but he will. I hope it happens the way I want it to, but in the meantime, life is happening all around me and for the first time in a long time I can see it and am participating in it! I have learned much, made mistakes and feel like I've been through it all - but now I know what I want and what I don't want. I'm actually feeling more confident and I know I can handle what life throws at me. I've still got some self improvement to do, and I'm doing it - however no one is perfect and I'm not beating myself up over the stupid stuff! At this point I am actually willing to take chances I've been so afraid of before, live anywhere, and I'm on the road to happiness...and when that special guy does ride up, I'll be ready, and he will be spoiled rotten! (and so will I!) ;-)
Saturday, May 01, 2010
I prayed to the Lord to ask Him if I was making the right choices, because these are BIG choices! I asked if He could somehow let me know that I was on the right path, and this is what was sent to me this morning:
"This is a time of the culmination of many of the things that I have spoken to you in the past, says the Lord, and also a time when you can now proceed into the next phase of your life. You may experience a sense of loss as you make some required changes, but this will actually be a time of looking back briefly before you begin to move forward. Don't be afraid to let go. I am with you to take you higher. Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." "
With the great news at my company (having fun on e*trade!), as well as the possible MAJOR move for me, I can't sleep. My boss wrote the nicest recommendation email to the director at the new L.A. plant on my behalf. I had no idea she thought of me so highly - either that or she wants to get rid of me...hahaha! (I cause trouble and make people do things right.) I'm getting interviewed next week, so wish me luck!! I've never been a "boss" before, so this is uncharted territory for me. My stepson is all excited at the thought of me moving because he is going to college there in the fall. I am to text him the 'minute I know'. He is getting nervous for college - it is so cute. I went to his last stage play last week, and he was so good! I think he will do just fine.
So I am hiring a gardener. Screw it. I just don't have time. My elderly neighbors gave me the name of theirs, so I'm just going to do it. Not only that, but if I have to sell the house, I need it looking decent. I am replacing the rotted fence in the next week or two and looking into new carpet since the dogs have destroyed it. I swear I am going to get them doggie diapers!
Well, that's about it for now. Have no idea what I'm doing for the weekend. I don't know what to do with a weekend off! LOL