Sunday, December 12, 2010

I always thought girls were the ones who went too fast with their emotions. My first thought was that I have somehow fucked up a fairytale, but I have cleared my head, remained calm, and I am not sure it is me. Maybe someone out there can shed some light. I really need some help. Some unbiased advice.

Everything was going great. Perfect. Better than perfect. I was enjoying every minute. We had an absolute amazing day yesterday. Then, all in the course of a few minutes, he cranked up the volume and I am still not quite sure what happened or how it started. To make a long story short, he is ready for this mega serious relationship and I'm like "huh?". Call me crazy, but dating for a month does not a stable relationship make. I want commitment, I want to fall in love, I want a serious relationship....but I need some time to make the assessment that I've found the right person first. He is correct in that we aren't getting any younger, but Holy God gimme a break. I really, really like him. I probably just lost him because he got seriously emotional and I was as cold as a stone. What does that mean?

I went from crawling guy to sprinting guy. WTF?? Where is the happy medium? I really like this guy and I don't know what to do. I am just not willing to rush into anything, and the one thing I know about myself is NO ONE can force me into anything anymore. Am I being too fearful because of my past, or am I being sensible? Is is reasonable to think that if he really cares for me that he will understand and chill out, or am I making the mistake of a lifetime in saying I need more time and need to take it a little slow (but not too slow)?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

if he was the right one, you'd be as gung ho as he..and neither of you would apply the brakes. something to think about. you're just not that into him..something is telling you that.

Lea said...

I think it is 100% appropriate to want to take things slowly and spend enough time together to get to really know each other. There's no way to get an accurate impression of the dynamic while the glitter and shine of a fresh new relationship is bright in your eyes. My opinion: he needs to calm down...it's perfectly reasonable, healthy, and normal to hold back a little after dating only 1 month. It's kind of threatening and scary to be pushed (even gently) into a lot more commitment too soon.