Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Meeting at Headquarters

So tonight, a lady I work with asked for a ride and in exchange said she would buy me a drink to thank me. I said OKAY! On the way she made a few calls to see if some of our other coworkers wanted to join, but all she said to each one was "meeting at headquarters". I've now learned that a local bar and grill is "headquarters" and many of my coworkers who live downtown apparently have frequent "meetings" there. LOL. This was my first meeting. We were the only two girls, and a few other guys came several minutes later. Now mind you, these are all scientists and technical people, so they drink a lot but talk shop. Before I wanted to stab my eye with a fork, I decided to "liven up" the conversation. I have a few tricks. I made an L with my thumb and index finger, raised it up and said "Did you know that the length of a man's penis can be determined by length from the tip of his thumb to the tip of his index finger?" What ensued next was absolutely hysterical and works EVERY TIME. ALL the men made their "L" at the SAME TIME and intently stared at it. Some started comparing their "L's" and I heard quite a few "That's CRAP!" and "There is NO WAY that is true!". To one of the guys I said "Oh, honey, I'm sorry." ROFLMAO!! Consequently, we had the attention of the entire place as I laughed until tears were coming out of my eyes. I can't help it. This went on for at least 20 minutes, I shit you not. The women at the place were all laughing and putting THEIR "L's" up to their forehead; the signal for "Loser". This is quite entertaining.

A short time later I brought up some trivia that started an hour long conversation carnival. I said "You know, I found out the other day that the definition of Sodomy includes oral sex." This really freaked them out. "WHAT?!?" "NO!" "NO NO NO it DOES NOT!" I told them to look it up. They all got out their iPhones and Blackberries and whatnot and LOOKED THE DEFINITION UP. One guy actually used the voice command to look up the definition on his phone - so yes, he spoke this into his phone IN PUBLIC, and loudly because it was a noisy place, "DEFINITION FOR SODOMY". OMG, I freaking ROLLED. They discovered in fact, that I was right and things were just too much fun after that.

Needless to say, I am now the CEO at headquarters and am required to attend every meeting. ;-) Oh and I didn't have to pay for a thing...

4 comments:

Lea said...

Fantastic!

Ann(ie) said...

You crack me up!! We have many a webinar at paddy coynes by our building...where is your headquarters??

Ann(ie) said...

Ooops I meant pubinar, not webinar. I had todays agenda on the brain!!

Cheryl said...

We go to Buckley's!