Monday, January 26, 2009

You can always count on change...

No matter what your situation, good or bad, change is constant. You will never sit idle for too long - even if you try. Change will force itself on you. That is comforting to me right now. I'm sick of being in limbo - feeling like I'm floundering. I'm waiting for a few things so that I know how to proceed forward. Last Friday was part of that, but I didn't get enough info. Moving. When and where? I have made some tentative plans, but that could all change based on other things. Very frustrating. This on top of other things going on for me make for an unstable mood. Even as hard as I try to be positive and upbeat, constant blows can really bring you down. There have been so many for me. You know the old saying "God won't give you more than you can handle."? Well, damn, God must think I'm fricking Zena or something. I've been put through the ringer - not just the last year, but for awhile now. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Perhaps. Or maybe what doesn't kill you now will kill you later. LOL My blood pressure and cortisol levels can't be good right now. I'm not even going to bother with the doctor. Who cares, don't want to hear it.

Yes, I am in the "bad place" right now, and I have brought my blog with me. Forgive my dark posts, but perhaps you can relate. Don't leave me just yet, it will just be a hellava ride for awhile, but it will CHANGE. (See how I brought all that together? Yay me. Haha.) While it's true not every aspect of my life is discussed here, I am honest with regards to my blogging. I think it is beneficial to share some things. I know when I read other blogs, I can sometimes feel a sense of connection with someone who shares an interest or emotion. I think this explains the blogging phenomenon.

I also believe things happen for a reason. I don't always understand the reason, sometimes I don't like the reason and occasionally I never find out the reason - but I don't think we all just randomly walk the earth; things just happening willy nilly. I can look back on many things in my life and understand why things happened the way they did - even if I was oblivious to the reason at the time it happened. Many times what I thought was "bad" turned out to be a big blessing in disguise. For instance, I was fired once for something I didn't do - didn't exactly think that was the grandest thing. But, if that hadn't of happened, many, many good things would not have came to be. I think the people we cross paths with in this life are significant too. Great friendships, life lessons, help for a season for one party or both, whatever it may be - it was meant to be...just the way is was, or is. I remember a girl I was friends with in the 4th grade (Gigi) who had a big impact on the way my sense of humor turned out. Kinda cool, huh? I remember her so well. I wonder if she remembers me. She moved to my school in the 4th grade, and left before the year ended. A short time for such a big impact, huh?

OK, I have rambled on for days here...trying to forget the darkness. I will go for now.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Things will usually turn out for the best IF you make the best of things ... however difficult they might be in the moment.

-Det