To free or deprive of illusion.
1. The act of disenchanting.
2. The condition or fact of being disenchanted.
disappointed at finding out reality does not match one's ideals
Yeah, this describes how I'm feeling. Especially the adjective definition. I don't know why I'm surprised. Why would I expect that any of my ideals existed? You can fall in love with an ideal, but don't be fooled. I'm angry. I am not directly involved, at least not anymore, but I'm sickened by some behavior I've run across. It seems some people can so easily bash and slander, yet they cannot or will not acknowledge what is in their own heart. Maybe hate is what is really in their heart. Let me give some advice for what it's worth. Fill your life with compliments and truth and wear your heart on your sleeve. Be transparent. Yeah, sometimes you get clobbered, but some of life's best and most important moments will more likely fill your heart that way. You will be able to say what you want to say without regret - you can put yourself out there and find what you're looking for. Does it always work? No. But if it doesn't, it wasn't worth it anyway. Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation causes death. Death to the soul.
It's not too late. Start now. You might be surprised at what awaits you.