Comedians

My boss said the coolest stuff to me yesterday. He said he missed me already and that the second I left they would be "fucked". It brought me to tears. No joke. I had nightmares last night about hating my new job and everyone hating me. I have issues.

Here's a couple of snippets from a comedian I thought was funny:

"If worse comes to worse, we're screwed."

The next time you see a guy pushing 30 carts together through the grocery store parking lot, yell out, "Hey, someone else might want to use one of those!"

"I asked someone, what do you think my dream means? He said it means you were sleeping."

LOL!