Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I'm laying in bed, not sleeping of course. So many things going through my head. When I blog, it helps me sort out my thoughts, even though I can't write all of them. It is like I'm talking to someone - an old friend or something. I don't really envision talking to the masses, but just one special person. That is why I make it personal. I am talking just to you. You and I, sitting and chatting. Want something to eat? I'm thinking of making a sweet pumpkin loaf. Then we could have some good coffee to go with it. Sound good?

Laying here feels different tonight. I feel slightly paralyzed, like something or someone is holding me down, or not allowing me to move much. I feel alone; empty in a way. I'm asking God what to do. Do I do the smart, rational thing and just take a similar job, or do I do something radical? Should I play it safe or risk everything? The world is a crazy place right now and I have some feelings about what will transpire (globally) before the end of the year. I think some may be very surprised. Risk is risky. But then again, no one gets out of here alive. ;-)

I have applied for some jobs in both Texas and California, and I have a pretty good prospect right here in WA, too. My friends, family and coworkers have been so great to me - I owe so many people my life, and I would gladly do anything for any of them.

The trouble is, I know what I want, but the decisions to get there can be tricky. And then there is this: is what I want good for me? Is there such a thing as destiny? Fate? I'm just an ordinary person, but these are things I ponder.

What would you do if you were me?

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