Thursday, August 14, 2008

Damnit, I'm all teary-eyed - have been all day. It's not just because my vacation is ending, but many things. I feel like so many chapters of my life are ending and/or changing. The house I am staying at is going to be sold and I grew up here. My grandpa isn't doing well and I've already lost 3 family members recently. I don't want to go back home and continue to feel like I don't care whether I live or die. There are other things that have me down too, but I can't talk about that.



I have these wishes and dreams that don't seem possible. Some things I just CAN'T stop thinking about, no matter how hard I try. When you lie in bed at night, what do you think about? I think about the same thing(s) every night.



But...you never know, I didn't think a 2 week vacation was possible either, then I had all these people help me. I just don't know which direction to go sometimes.



My job will end eventually, probably soon (it's a start-up company with the goal to be sold), then what? A whole new life? - I don't know. I don't know anything, do I?

3 comments:

Ann(ie) said...

I think you're entering a whole new phase of life which can be good and exciting, girl. It's also hard b/c change of any kind is stressful. Sometimes any good change takes the longest, but it's oh so worth it. That's my mehmet wisdom at 5:22 a.m. xo. We need to have margarita's when you get back.

Cheryl said...

I can only hope and pray - some things aren't up to me.

And YES! Margaritas! Are we on for Nacho bar night if I'm not barfing up a lung? I'm in great need for girl talk.

-Bee

Ann(ie) said...

Absolutely!!!