Damnit, I'm all teary-eyed - have been all day. It's not just because my vacation is ending, but many things. I feel like so many chapters of my life are ending and/or changing. The house I am staying at is going to be sold and I grew up here. My grandpa isn't doing well and I've already lost 3 family members recently. I don't want to go back home and continue to feel like I don't care whether I live or die. There are other things that have me down too, but I can't talk about that.
I have these wishes and dreams that don't seem possible. Some things I just CAN'T stop thinking about, no matter how hard I try. When you lie in bed at night, what do you think about? I think about the same thing(s) every night.
But...you never know, I didn't think a 2 week vacation was possible either, then I had all these people help me. I just don't know which direction to go sometimes.
My job will end eventually, probably soon (it's a start-up company with the goal to be sold), then what? A whole new life? - I don't know. I don't know anything, do I?