Thursday, July 17, 2008

Not on my game these days, apparently

Have you been on Crazydogmama’s rollercoaster of life lately? That would go something like this: “I’m happy and excited and life is going to be great!” – Monday. “Life sucks so bad, someone gut me and let me bleed to death.” – Tuesday. “Fuck everything.” – Wednesday. “Things are OK – shaping up.” – Thursday. “I’m crazy and angry and depressed and stressed out.” – Friday. “No one loves me.” – Saturday. “I took my meds on time today and meds are awesome.” – Sunday.

Some say I’m negative and cynical and need to try to be happier. You THINK? DUH. Who is happy? I mean REALLY, REALLY happy? With no ups and downs – just ups? NO ONE. Me? I am just able (and do) admit that things aren't going the way I want them to. Not that I expect everything to go my way. We are all searching for something. I have my own search. Now, there are some who are happier than others, just like some are richer than others, but I’m not all that uncommon, really. I may sound pissy for 6 months in a row, I may not. You just never know with me right now. So just bare with me and when something cool happens, I’ll let you know. I will also let you know when everything is falling apart, which has essentially been the last year for me. Some big stuff has happened, yes, but I also keep having these little setbacks and disappointments that are frustrating and depressing.

It takes a special kind of person to bond with me and understand me - I don't expect to be the most popular blogger by any means. They have to be a tough-skinned, passionate, intense and honest person. They also have to have a good sense of dark, sarcastic humor. There are very few of those kinds of people out there, I’ve found. I think I’m worth it, though. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for those I love.

HOWEVER…

Don’t piss me off.

Other things going on? I got my eyes dilated today, which is always a treat. So if this post makes no sense, or is typed funny – you’ll know why. I have hyperopia (farsightedness). I had to get new glasses because I am way blinder now. They are similar to my old ones, but nevertheless will permit a new photo op when they come in. They are more burgundy than red-red. I can tell you are thrilled. I always think it is funny when they have you write out a check after dilation. I CAN’T SEE, PEOPLE!

Also, the roof of my mouth hurts. Doritos?

1 comment:

stick shaker said...

i always think its funny when people come out from there eye exam dilated and that can't see their checks to write! i am like "haha you can't see your check, now what biotches?" hehe

emotional roller coasters are fun....yee-haw!