You should be used to this by now. I'm feeling like my life is in "limbo". Have you ever felt that way? Waiting, like a spring ready to be sprung. Not going backward, but not going forward either. Fear of the unknown? Waiting for the planets to be aligned correctly? I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing, or what to do next sometimes. It's like nothing is changing on the outside, but there are big ones happening on the inside. I'm missing my dad today, too. I wish I could talk to him, get his advice on some things. Go out to our favorite Thai food joint that my mom refused to go to, and just talk about everything. He was always so worried about me, yet proud of me at the same time. He would tell me to pull my head out of my ass. (LOL!), but in a loving way, though. This time last year we were fishing, and it was so sweet. He had shown me over a million times how to put my fishing pole together (rigging) based on the terrain of the water, but I just could never get it right. So, he would do it for me. Then I would catch all the fish and he would spend the day getting them off the hook for me instead of watching his own pole. I miss him so much.
Sorry you are going through that. It is hard losing a parent especially when you were close to them. Just remember the good times.
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