Thursday, April 24, 2008

Busy Weekend Ahead, and an "uncut" story. I know you love those.

So today I get to work (if you call blogging working), but tomorrow our company is hosting an all-day bowling event with AN OPEN BAR to celebrate our success. The people I work with are complete maniacs - I fit right in. Then, that night we're going to see Bill (my stepson) in a production of Fiddler on the Roof. Hopefully I won't smell like margaritas and bowling wax. LOL. Break a leg, Bill!

Saturday I'm going bowling again! I didn't plan it that way, but what fun! It will be me, Jim, Juice (Annie) and her hubs and Hole (Beth). I will not be able to move by Sunday, I'm sure. And Sunday is dinner/drinks with Yogagirl and hubby!

Bowling is excellent exercise for the hips, quads and my right arm. I'm still a little out of shape. OK, WAY out of shape. For awhile there, I was pumping some serious iron. I could bench press 150lb, which is my personal best. That may not sound like much to the big guns like Skwigg and Yogagirl, but I was damn proud of it because some of the men I work with were all pissy that I could lift more than them. Sorry, boys! I've always been a little freakishly strong - without much effort. I grew up with all boys - not brothers, just friends. For some reason I got along better with boys. Go figure. I have these really muscular legs, and my guy friends taught me all kinds of things like how to fight and how to play sports, including wrestling. I guess I was a little naive thinking they were just being 'helpful' teaching me to wrestle, but, um...yeah. I get that now. HA. Pervs. Anyway, this is a good segueway into my story. I'm running out of blog material, so bear with me.

It was Junior High. Hell on Earth. Did anyone like Junior High? What a crap fest. Okay, let's just go with I hated Junior High. (Highschool was fun, though) I was going through that awkward braces/hormone balancing time that all us girls fondly remember. I did, however, still have an attitude with side of sarcasm. Not much different than today. In P.E., there was this girl who just gave me the hardest time. I didn't do anything to warrant this, but once she started, she wouldn't stop. I was athletic during class, but afterwards in the locker rooms - I would get myself all dolled up to go back to class. You know, tons of hairspray, perfume and such. She would make fun of me and call me "princess" and other colorful terms. She (Shara) happened to be this star gymnast, and she was a "rocker". Remember those? Lots of black makeup, black leather, Megadeath T-shirts? Yeah. She thought she was tough. She ran her piehole a lot. Most of the time I would just hurl sarcasm and whatnot, but one day she decided she wanted to humiliate me in front of everyone by kicking my ass. Let me tell you how that turned out for her.

We were doing "wrestling week" at school in P.E. class, and Shara must of thought this would be a great time to defeat hairspray girl. They had us form two lines - facing each other, and the next person from each side would go in the middle of the lines and 'wrestle'. Shara counted the people in line and correctly positioned herself so that she would be wrestling me. She was being particularly mean to me that day - following me around harassing me. I'd had it. I was ready. BRING IT, BITCH. She had no idea what she was doing. Here we go - face off. She tried to sweep her arm around my neck and bring me down, but instead I knocked her off of her feet inside of 4 seconds and pinned her down without even breaking a sweat. She was all red-faced and I thought her eyeballs were going to pop out. She was sooooo angry. She couldn't get up. She couldn't even move. She started yelling and I just looked down at her, calmly and intensly. When I finally let her up, she glared at me and I figured I'd probably get knifed later or something. Whatever.

I didn't (and don't) consider myself to be extraordinarly tough or anything, I think I just had enough anger, adrenaline and training to get the job done. It was so weird after that. She didn't say another word to me for two years. One day in the library she saw me studying and came up to me and asked me for help with something school related. I was ASTONISHED. She ended up apologizing to me for all the crap she gave me. Is that not a cool story? I love telling that story. I don't know what ever happened to her, but I hope she is happy and well.

1 comment:

Colleen said...

Ha, cool story. It was like that for me because I was new and I was taller than the tough chicks. Most of the people who wanted to kick my ass in Jr High ended up being some of my best friends in High School. Good thing too, I probably would've gotten ass kicked if they ever followed through.