Thursday, July 13, 2006

Dog Food and Grocery Store Behavior

OK, so I got Louie his frigging gourmet dogfood. He was seriously excited. He was eating so vigorously that he was banging his bowl against the cabinets. I was just shaking my head. Its like we had been starving him or something. (NOT.)

We ran out of people food yesterday, and eventhough I don't get paid until tomorrow we decided to go grocery shopping last night and just float a check. Sad, I know. Anyway, Jim and I shopping together is kinda funny. There was this big "buy one get one free" sale at Albertson's, so we were all over that. We met at the store after we got off work. (Usually I just do the grocery shopping by myself, and now I know why.)

First, Jim yelled at me cuz my car is dirty and he hates that. "Why don't you ever clean this car?" "I'm going to trade it in for a Yugo." Then, as we were walking in the parking lot toward the store, we were scoping out different entrances and kept bumping into each other. I finally pushed him and he said "Why the hell are you pushing me?" and I said "Because you keep running into me." Then he said "How about we go in the same entrance?" Hehe.

So then we get inside. I grab a cart, put my purse in it and start flipping through the sale ads to find out what I want. I also got my calculator out. (Shut UP, we are on a budget.) Jim rolls his eyes and gets all annoyed. "Are you coming or WHAT?"

I bee-line for the first "buy one get one free" display. Jim: "Where's the fire?" I start thinking to myself: "First he is annoyed that I'm going too slow, now I'm going too fast. SHEEESH." It is hot and muggy and the store is crazy with people everywhere and I'm starting to get irritated. After putting a few items in the cart, we notice that it is one of those squeaky-can't-push-it-in-a-straight-line kinda carts. We look at each other. I shrug and keep going. Jim huffs REALLY loud and stomps off to get a new cart. I wait for him. He comes back and *dramatically* transfers our items to the new cart. I giggle.

I have to tell him THREE times that he is putting the wrong refried beans in the cart. I'm sure people are watching us by this point.

The meat department. I start looking for the "Buy one get one free" items in one area, and Jim goes down further to look. Neither one of us can figure out which fucking meat items are on sale. We start bitching to ourselves out loud about this. More staring.

I become obsessed with finding my favorite cheese. (Mexican Velveeta) I'm craving it for some reason. Since this is not the regular store we shop at, neither one us have the first clue where anything is in the store. It takes me like 40 minutes to find it because they don't keep it in the FUCKING CHEESE SECTION. Jim tries to keep up, bitching the whole way that I need to forget about the cheese.

Jim, then, becomes obsessed with getting ingredients to make banana splits because that is what HE is craving. (I am now focused on finding the on-sale pineapple chunks.)

To make a long story short, we are nut-jobs out in public together. I think there were other little things that happened, but I can't remember them right now and I'm tired of typing.

So, bye.


NoRemorse42 said...

Velveeta is not real cheese, therefore, not in the cheese section. Velveeta is classified by the United States Food and Drug Administration as pasteurized process cheese spread. Its so good though. Me and B do the bump into each other thing when walking to a store. I am not sure what she is looking at.

Big Brother tonight. You better watch it!

Cheryl said...

Thank you for the invaluable Velveeta cheese info.

I hate Big Brother. You can't make me.

NoRemorse42 said...

LOL You're welcome.

You HATE Big Brother? Those are fightin' words!

colleen said...

Eh, when we grocery shop together, Jack walks like he's, um, what's the politically correct word for retarded? It's kind of like he's got one leg 6 inches longer than the other and his underwear have crawled up his butt and he's trying to correct it without touching it.

I usually walk an isle ahead of him.

yerdoingitwrong said...

I LOVE Velveeta. mmmmmmmm. And I love that you love Velveeta, too b/c normally I get made fun of for loving it. 8)

Cheryl said...

Colleen - Jim and I just spent 20 minutes laughing until we cried over your comment. That was ficking hillarious!!!

midnightbunny said...

Ah yes, the wonderful world of grocery shopping with the man. I get stressed out just plain shopping, so add to that any other stressors around and the whole trip always turns into a fiasco. Yikes! LOL ;D