Friday, May 12, 2006

Aaaaaah! and also Derrrr....

There. was. a. spider. in. the. shower. with. me. this. morning. First, it startled me, THEN - I contemplated whether or not I should scream bloody murder and wake Jim up, or just keep an eagle-eye on the thing and keep my naked body as far away from it as possible. You know, cuz there is NO FREAKING WAY I'm touching it. I decided since it was a small spider, that Jim would kill me for waking him up over it, so I co-showered with the hideous thing.

Later, while driving to work, Jim called me on my cell phone. I told him about the spider incident. The conversation went like this:

Me: "There was a SPIDER in the shower with me this morning!!!"
Jim: "Did you kill it? I didn't hear you scream."
Me: "No, I just left it alone."
Jim: "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Me: "I don't know."

Meanwhile, Jim goes into the bathroom to check out the huge beast I left for him to deal with.

Jim: "You have GOT to be kidding me!? This little tiny thing? You're right - if you had screamed over this and woke me up, I would have been pissed."

Now, let me give you a little insight into my extreme spider phobia. I grew up in a house with a daylight basement where my room happened to be located. Big, fat, hairy wolf spiders were EVERWHERE. In my clothes, in the towels, in the walls, in the shower. Once, while taking a shower, a bunch of those big hairy fuckers FELL OUT OF THE LIGHT over the shower ONTO MY NAKED BODY. You cannot imagine that kind of horror nor the fact that I learned how to fly that morning. I crashed through the shower door screaming and traumatized for life. You could say that I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I was also bitten once by a brown recluse spider while camping. My leg got all swollen and it looked like an egg was laid on my HURT BAD.

So, you see, me no like spiders. It doesn't matter how big or small they are.

I am also a dumbass. I sold out and signed up for adsense through google (hence the ads on my page now) and because I am a little bit of a dolt when it comes to HTML code, I can't quite figure it out. Just be patient with me while I pull my hair trying to figure it out.


NoRemorse42 said...

I feel ya on the spider thing. I hate them too and am scared to death of them. If I have to kill one, it takes me like 30 minutes staring at it and finally having the balls to end it's life.

Cheryl said...

macho. hehe.

colleen said...

I have a tick story that involves exploring an abandoned gold mine in the Colorado mountains, riding in the car afterwards and going through a tunnel and my mom trying to wipe some crawly thing off her arm and it not coming loose and my step dad pulling over to get the tick off her and her going "I was wiping those off your back all day" and me looking at the dog who was sitting next to me and seeing her fur CRAWLING with ticks and me jumping out of the car and stripping down to my underwear on the side of the road screaming, "Ahhhhhh, get them off!!!!!"

So, you know, change tick to spider and I can totally relate.