Thursday, December 08, 2005

New Experiences

With no nicotine, and very little caffeine in my system - things look different. and feel different. I can breathe, but I can't think. I have been staring at my blank blogger screen for 10 minutes and I just can't get my fingers to move. Work is slow right now and jamming a pen into my eye is starting to sound like a viable option. I don't want to talk to anyone in particular, but I want to talk. ramble. about nothing. and everything. I don't feel like myself, but for the first time in a long time I have clarity. Clarity.

def. :clarity, lucidity, pellucidity, clearness, limpidity - free from obscurity and easy to understand; the comprehensibility of clear expression

That really doesn't sound like me, does it?

I had no 'plan' to quit smoking - I just did it. I had wanted to do it for a long time, and had thought about it quite a bit, but there was no "I am going to quit on such-and-such a day." I just thought to myself, "I don't want these anymore" at 5pm on the commute home one day last week. I smoked for 15 years. It was defining on some level. Who the hell AM I now? Holy crap, I am one of those nonsmoker people.

2 comments:

Colleen said...

Yeah, that's pretty much how I did it, too. Just up and quit one day after 11 years. It's been 7 years now and I figure I've saved about $10K. Congrats!

Anonymous said...

Hang in there and Congrats! I quit on February 12, and I have not had one since. I wanted to quit for a long time too, but it took a severe illness that taught me a lesson. Since then, no more medications and I feel good. I wish everyone could quit.