Tuesday, November 29, 2005

As the famous "Dooce" once said - Deck the Motherfucking Halls

We didn't get any snow. Its all rain. I'm very disappointed. I stayed up late like a 4 year old, waiting for the snow, that would never come. Damn weathermen. I had the hot chocolate ready and everything. with little marshmellows.

and I hurt my back AGAIN. and I have no money. I will never have any money. ever.

Don't talk to me today. I'm cranky.

Monday, November 28, 2005

It was 24 degrees outside this morning. This is highly unusual for us in November - AND there is a chance of snow tonight! Weeeee! I love the snow! I'm sitting here eating a nice warm bowl of oatmeal while trying to remember that the long weekend is over and I need to work now. Poo. I think I was asleep more than I was awake Sat. and Sun., but come Monday it still feels like I need toothpicks to keep my eyelids open. Go figure.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Question: How do you gracefully remove potato chip crumbs from your bra when the bathroom is occupied?

Answer: You do not. There is no dignified way to reach down into your bra and remove tiny barbecued potato chip crumbs in public. I speak from experience.

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Once upon a time, it was a boring Friday night at Crazydogmama's house. She and her husband are so pitiful that they decide to play Poker (in the famous garage) with just each other because they apparently have no friends. What was even more pitiful was that Crazydogmama lost and had to do the dishes. (its either sexual favors or who has to clean something...) ANYWAY, I have to tell you that Poker is worse than frigging Monopoly. It takes FOREVER. I think we went through 3 packs of ciggarettes (we're quitting! I swear!) and a case of beer (we're NOT quitting! I swear!). You know its bad when you start betting the black chips when all you have in your hand is a pair of fucking 2's - just to speed things along.

I've been learning Texas Hold 'em, too, which is cool - except that I keep forgetting to flip over the cards when I'm dealing, and keep WANTING to flip over the cards when I'm NOT dealing. (that could be the beer, though.)

Yeah, its looking like Saturday night will be Crazydogmama's revenge...hmmmm....what will be at stake tonight?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Keep your eyes peeled...

...for Montana, Idaho and Utah. Some unusual earthquake activity. I am thinking it is all pre-cursory. Also note the activity offshore Oregon/Northern Cali. Full moons are always good indicators.

More importantly - Happy Birthday to me last Saturday. I got lots of good stuff and it feels great to be 29 AGAIN! LOL.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

OK - I'll play too.

100 Things Me – Crazydogmama Style

If you follow my Blog, you may already know some of this stuff – but read it anyways cuz what better way could you spend your time?

1. I had REALLY crooked buck teeth when I was young. (Got braces)
2. I will not eat meatloaf. Period. Not even yours.
3. I am geographically challenged.
4. The movie “Prophecy” scared the SHIT out me when I was young.
5. I like to smell my dogs – it is a comforting smell.
6. I hate (and I mean HATE) it when someone spells ‘lose’ with two O’s as “loose”. It really, really bugs me, people.
7. Since we have been together (12 years now) – I have not been apart from my husband for more than 5 days – and only once was I gone 5 days.
8. I like meat served rare.
9. I don’t like old movies. (Black & White)
10. I don’t think infants are cute. Sorry.
11. I am allergic to cats, bees and Sulfa.
12. I have worn Estee Lauder cosmetics since I was 16.
13. I have jumped out of an airplane several times.
14. I still can’t drink Bourbon. (Not since I was 16 anyway…)
15. I have had food poisoning 3 times – from Mayonnaise on a sandwich, from sausage on a pizza and from sushi.
16. I got the chicken pox when I was 21.
17. I hardly had anything to do with planning my own wedding. My bridesmaids did most of it for me.
18. I hate thong underwear.
19. I love thunderstorms. I made my husband turn the TV off the other day so I could listen to one.
20. My favorite vegetables are onions, peppers, squash and asparagus.
21. My favorite herb is cilantro.
22. I hate creamed corn, peas, Brussels sprouts, water chestnuts and most kinds of mushrooms.
23. My blood type is B+.
24. I was born on a Friday.
25. I have a Bachelor’s Degree from the University of Washington.
26. The song ‘World’s Apart’ by ‘Jars of Clay’ makes me cry EVERY. TIME. I. LISTEN. TO. IT.
27. I don’t mind the rain or driving in the snow.
28. The colors in the front room of my house are red, orange and purple.
29. I would rather email than talk on the phone.
30. All my DVDs are in alphabetical order.
31. I can gross anyone out. Guaranteed.
32. I love theme and amusement parks.
33. I don’t really like popcorn, but I’ll grab some of my husband’s when I’m at the movies.
34. I hate arrogance. I cannot stay friends with someone arrogant.
35. I hate the month of February.
36. I could eat (good) Italian food every day.
37. I am a total klutz.
38. I don’t like fruit by itself. It has to be in or with something else.
39. I’m claustrophobic and arachnophobic.
40. I only make the bed when company is coming over.
41. I have to wash my bath towel after every use. Its just a thing with me.
42. If I don’t get AT LEAST 8 hours of sleep – just forget it.
43. I love fuzzy martinis.
43. My favorite ‘Atari’ game was ‘Adventure’.
44. Don’t put nuts in my dessert.
45. My favorite flowers are Tulips and Stargazer Lilies.
46. I hate riding a regular bike, but I love motorcycles.
47. I love 40’s music.
48. When I laugh really hard – tears roll down my cheeks uncontrollably.
49. I couldn’t belch until I was 25.
50. I was in a Spelling Bee once. I lost.
51. I drink milk with pizza.
52. I saw ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ in the theatre 7 times.
53. I am always pulling my underwear out of my butt.
54. I like the smell of gasoline.
55. I use Mentadent toothpaste.
56. I use the ring that my cell phone came with. I am not going to change it.
57. I don’t know how to sew.
58. I hate musicals.
59. My favorite Dean Koontz book is a toss-up between ‘Intensity’ and ‘Watchers’.
60. I don’t wear earrings very often, although I have tons of them.
61. I can sleep anytime, anywhere – most of the time.
62. I like to cook.
63. I don’t like to garden.
64. My favorite time of year is the fall.
65. I love Christmastime.
66. I learned how to play poker last summer.
67. I still don’t know how to play checkers.
68. I made up a game called “keep off the floor” when I was little. It was like ‘Blind Man’s Bluff” except you had to crawl around on the furniture and never touch the floor. I always got everyone in trouble playing it.
69. “The Brave Little Toaster” is the best cartoon ever made.
70. I like to crack my knuckles.
71. I hate shopping for clothes.
72. I put Tabasco on everything.
73. I don’t use hairspray anymore. In the 80’s, though, I went through a can a week.
74. I like having long fingernails.
75. I really want to visit Santorini, Greece.
76. I used to sleepwalk.
77. I talk in my sleep.
78. I remember my dreams every night.
79. I can’t put eye drops in my eyes.
80. I sweat A LOT. ALL THE TIME. I hate it.
81. I hate dirty or stained carpeting. I am always obsessing about my carpet.
82. The fitted sheet on my bed is always messed up or coming off. I hardly ever fix it.
83. I cannot sleep with more than one pillow.
84. I know all the words to ‘Take it Easy’ by the Eagles, and it is uncanny how much I sound like Axel Rose when I’m singing ‘Sweet Child ‘O Mine’.
85. I really must have croutons on my salad.
86. I take my wedding ring off at night so it won’t rip the bed sheets, and often times I forget to put it back on in the morning. People always ask me about it and I say “Sometimes I’m married, sometimes I’m not.” They don’t know what to say to that.
87. My husband is a war veteran.
88. I use the butt-warmer button in my car in the summertime.
89. I have to have the air-conditioning on in my bedroom every night. Even if it 2 degrees outside.
90. When I am sitting, I bounce/jiggle my right leg up and down continuously like a jackhammer. It drives everyone nuts. I can’t help it.
91. I used to have a really cute squeaky girl-sneeze; now it is just loud, obnoxious and messy. My husband really misses my cute sneezes.
92. I don’t like “The Beatles”.
93. I don’t like “Elvis”.
94. I am usually always wearing something black.
95. I can’t keep lipstick on – I subconsciously lick it off within 5 minutes.
96. If I am trying to find an address when driving – I can’t have the radio on because it is too distracting.
97. I hate wearing a seatbelt.
98. When I talk on my cell phone too long, my hand/arm goes numb.
99. I wear perfume every day.
100. I have one tattoo.

What do YOU do at work?

I got to go on a plane ride yesterday on my lunch break! One of the engineers I work with is a pilot - and I got to go this time! Weeeee! Fun, fun, fun. Here I am, hard at work:

da plane and da pilot

Seattle in the background...

Lake Washington...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Halloween ’05 – Drunken Disco Bliss of the 70’s

Don’t even ask – Jim was dressed up as Captain Spaulding from “House of 1000 Corpses”. (Well, SHIT the bed!) He rationalized that the movie plot took place in the 70’s – so it was an allowed costume at the 70’s-themed party. Hehe. I personally liked the “Bob Ross Happy Trees” T-shirt:

Here is the ever-so-famous self portrait I am known to take of the upper-half of my head:

Jim trying on my wig. Isn’t he lovely?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Baby Boom

Everyone seems to be having frickin' babies right now. Bloggers, neighbors, celebrities, everyone! Its like nature is on baby-binge. I don't know whether to congratulate you all - or send my condolances. I know, I know, a baby is a gift from God, but STILL. Its freaking me out! Everywhere I look there are baby heads! I must tell you, though, that I had empathy-heaves for you this morning. I woke up and had dry heaves for like, an HOUR. This does not mean I'm pregnant (don't get all excited) - and to respond to what I know is the first thing coming to your mind - NO IT IS NOT POSSIBLE THAT I AM PREGNANT. I am not going to explain why that is impossible - y'all are smart. Well, most of you. Figure it out.

Anyway, I've been trying to put up Halloween pictures, but blogger is being difficult and won't let me, so you'll just have to wait.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Bird Flu. Aren't You Excited?
It is so much fun to hear on the news EVERY NIGHT how the Bird Flu is coming to get us. (Read this) I'm thinking the next time I get the sniffles or a cough, I am going to completely panic and drive 400mph to the hospital.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Angry Crazydogmama (If you don't like cuss words, stop NOW)

So what the hell is this new trend (that makes me want to chain them up and throw them in my crawlspace) where older kids come to my door on Halloween WITHOUT A FUCKING COSTUME ON - not even saying 'trick or treat' and then demanding candy from my hard-working self? My first reaction was to stick the candy up their sweatshirt-with-a-hood wearing asses - but then I thought that that might get my new car egged or keyed or something. After pondering this a bit, I decided to just give them a piece of candy - but now I'm just pissed at myself. Crazydogmama is supposed to be fearless. I am fearing these little fuckers!!! Damnit to hell!!! I think action needs to be taken. The teenagers in my neighborhood need to be taken down a couple of pegs. Hmmm. What to do. I'm thinking - the next time one of them pisses me off, I'm going to voice it. Then, I'm gonna stay up on my roof all night with a pellet gun and pick off the first motherfucker who comes near my house.