Friday, September 30, 2005

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Can anyone say sugar-high?
The following is what has been sucked into my face today, much like that commercial where the person's T.V. is sucking everything to it like a huge magnet:

1. HUGE triple-shot iced mocha WITH. WHIP. CREAM. Not nonfat. (Caffeine IS a food group, you know.)
2. Powdered donut with raspberry filling (Fruit!)
3. Large glass of milk (a little protein here, folks...shut up)
4. HUGE piece of birthday cake. (Not my birthday, but I'm chalking this up to a carb serving.)

and it is only 11am. Time for lunch!!!

I will be severely crashing around 2pm. I am not putting my food in fitday today. Just cuz. I am already depressed because I am having an acne break-out (how surprising) and I feel a fever blister coming on. Sigh.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

More good news...
This just in from "Jack Coles" who studies earthquakes and has the most accurate (in my opinion) cutting-edge method of earthquake detection:

"General Forecast for Alaska down to Panama As of September 20th, 2005

A 90-day General Forecast has been issued for Alaska down to Panama, most probable location - California.
This forecast is based on the largest "Initial Signal" ever detected originating from the Silicon Valley-San Francisco area covering 1/4-to-1/3 of the entire State of California. Another very large initial signal was received on September 14, 2005 - see September 14, 2005 message. A "Specific Forecast" will be issued upon the detection of a "Main signal or Signals". The Specific Forecast will include a specific magnitude and the most likely dates. If such data is received, than at that time, the location and percentage of certainty will be adjusted accordingly.Currently the percentage of probability is 7% (percent). This forecast is in effect from September 20th-to-December 20th, 2005. Conditions and status can change instantly. Please check back often for updates. We will continue to monitor the situation and bring you further news as it develops."

If you are interested, here is his forum:
Pray for Texas and Louisiana, people. This isn't looking good. 170mph winds? Yikes...
Has anyone spoken to Yogagirl? I think she is in Houston or somewhere close to it, but is on vacation right now. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I don't know about the rest of you - Divaquest, you alright? You are all on my mind.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I've been absent because...
Maggie's ass exploded, and I fell off a ladder and smashed my head on the coffee table. No shit, people.

Last week, my poor little Magadog was sliding her butt on the floor, so I knew it was time to express the anal glands. (ewwww.) So, I picked her up and went to do just that. What I didn't know was that she had an infection and when I went to squeeze her ass, it burst. In the wrong spot. I was totally freaked and started yelling and crying - and Jim started yelling "What did you do to the DOG?" There was blood and panicking by the humans and an actual look of relief on Maggie's face. After a nice trip to the vet with penicillan shots, antibiotics and a trendy little cone for Maggie's head, I finally relaxed. I felt really guilty, though, even after the vet assured me that I was just trying to help her. I have convinced myself that I am the worst dogmama EVER. My name is now badawfulevildogmama. I did receive my punishment, however.

After much warning from my husband to stay off of the ladder due to my extreme clumsiness and lack of balance - I did it anyway. and fell backward and smacked my head on the coffee table. Ow. It hurt like a motherfucker, I'm going to live, and that is all I have to say about that. I do have some cute pictures of Maggie in her cone (I call her funnel-face.) - I will post those soon.

Monday, September 12, 2005

The Best Reason for Getting Hardwood Floors
(Note: BOOM! = Doggy face-plant.)
Once we (I mean Jim - I just took pictures) finished the installation of the hardwood floor in the kitchen, the best part was not to enjoy the prettiness of our new floor, but to watch the dogs get used to it. We let the dogs out of the crates once done, and I really didn't need to turn on the T.V. at all that night. Maggie came racing into the kitchen and BOOM! Then Louie, BOOM! and slide and BOOM! After going potty in the rain: Clickity, clickity, BOOM! Slide, BOOM! Make the dogs do tricks for treats: Sit up, fall backwards, BOOM!, clickity, BOOM! (and hysterical, evil laughter from humans.) Startle the dogs on purpose: clickity-clackity BOOM! This is true revenge for all the pooping and peeing on my floor, you little fuckers!
This is not good.
I had a dream last night about finding skulls and bones of humans buried in someone's backyard. (Not mine) I was of course freaked out about having this kind of dream and looked up on what it means. Here is the verdict:

Skull: To see a skull in your dream, symbolizes danger, evil and death. Alternatively, it represents the secrets of the mind. You may be keeping things hidden.

I'm thinking that maybe I watch too many horror movies. :-D

By the way, I really liked "The Exorcism of Emily Rose". Went to see it Friday night. It was a court room drama with flash backs. I thought it was well done - intelligent and thought-provoking. There were only a few disturbing images, which was nothing for me - not at all like the original "Exorcist". I like to follow real-life stories about these kinds of things - so I was giddy about doing research. The girl's real name is Anneliese Michel and you can read about her here.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

RACE DAY and My New Floor...
We went to what is called "Race Day" last Saturday. It is a bunch of Cairn Terrier owners in the Pacific Northwest who get together and "race" their doggies and other fun stuff like bobbing for hot dog pieces. It was a 2 1/2 hour trip for Crazydogmama and husband. For me, it was confirmation that my dogs are truly retarded.

You see, we stuff our pups into the box shown (like race horses), then dangle some pelts in front of the little windows in the boxes, then lift up the door and watch the dogs chase the pelts that are being reeled toward the finish line. That is the way it is SUPPOSED to work. What you see here is Louie, finally coming out of his box after the race is over. When the doors were lifted, the other 3 dogs burst from their places and took off - but from the fourth box, just a big fat LOU-ASS. That's right, my dog was turned around bass-akwards. I was laughing so hard, I got a nice picture of the ground instead of my humilating DOG'S ASS. When he finally figured out that everyone was looking at him, he trotted out and had the "Hey, wassa happenin'?" look on his dumbass doggie face. He may as well have just taken a dump.

Here is Maggie - who, not quite as retarded as Louie (but close) is running her way to second place. (no prizes for 2nd place) She is the one on the far right below. What makes her sudo-retarded is her sharp right turn at the finish line into the net. In full run. (Note: You can see here that there is another retarded dog turned around backwards in the box.) It was old news by then, though.

...and here we have Louie again, trying to redeem himself. He actually ran this time, but came in last. Oh well, that's my boy!! He is the one in the very back just coming out of the box.

I thought for sure we'd clean-up in the hot dog contest since they usually suck the ceramic off their bowls every night trying to get the last crumb of kibble. Nope. My dogs apparently just like the taste of hot dog-flavored water. Couldn't get them to dunk their choppers.

All in all an entertaining, but exhausting day.

Oh, and for extra fun, we put in laminate flooring this weekend. See how pretty?

Thursday, September 01, 2005