Monday, April 25, 2005

"Notify List" is gone. It sucks. It only works about 50% of the time. So buh-bye. Sorry to those of you who signed up. Just check me regulary.
Conversation overheard at Home Depot:

Home Depot worker #1 who is on a huge ladder getting something down from high above: "Hey (Home Depot worker #2), can you help me with this?"

Home Depot worker #2: "You can do it - just switch (this thing) with (this thing)."

Home Depot worker #1: "I don't understand what you're saying."

Home Depot worker #2: "Oh, come ON Dude, its not Rocket Surgery!!"

Crazydogmama thinks to herself: "Rocket Surgery???"
Exploding toads in Germany??? That is just icky. and weird.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

All work and no play makes Crazydogmama a dull girl...

Seriously folks, I am about dead. I only have one more 70-hour week, but still. Wah. I'm getting all kinds of whiny email from people who need an update. Well, here's your frigging update. More earthquakes. EVERYWHERE. Icebergs ramming continents. Volcanos rumbling and erupting. My period was 3 weeks late. (No pregnancy - probably just solar/magnetic activity. No shit.)

I drank Slimfast this week. I know, I know. Stupid. Its just that I'm sick of my regular Pro-Complex and Muscle Milk.

I bought Louie and Maggie new collars.

I got a new scale that measures weight, Body Fat AND hydration level. 55 bucks to tell me I'm too fat and dehydrated. Awesome.

I washed my pillow case covers last week and still haven't put them back on the pillows.

I killed a huge-ass fly in my office today, but I was too grossed-out to pick up it's mashed carcass off of the carpeting so I made one of my co-workers do it.

I have $1.04 in my checking account.


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Definition of a sad day.
It is a sad day when you have to blow your nose in a maxi pad because you have no kleenex.
I scare people.
Ok, so two jobs wasn't enough. Three anyone? I self mutilate. Leave me alone. I started a new part-time job at a another restaurant in the hopes of replacing the other restaurant job where they make we work weekends and expose me to THE BEAST. (See a few posts back for explanation if you just can't stand not to know.) I want to work 4 days a week. That's it. I will have to fit 48 hours worth of work into those 4 days, but whatever. Having three days off IN A ROW is nessesita right now for my sanity. I started my new job last night, and the girl who was training me asked "Do you have any kids?". A normal response would have been: "No, none of my own but I do have a step son." However, since I am not normal (who knew?) I said something like: "OH HELL NOOOO." - to which her response was laughter and a comment like "Wow, I've never gotten a response like that before. It doesn't sound like you're GOING TO HAVE kids either." Apparently, my vocal cords spasm and contort when asked if I have kids.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

GARAGE: A Photo Essay
a.k.a: a lame Thursday night.

To most I am a "neat freak". I am the one you'll find scrubbing the base boards and taking almost a year to finish all my paint touch-ups. Well, not every room in the house is under such scutiny, namely, the GARAGE. We refer to the GARAGE as "Man-land" or "husband-land". You will see why. Brace yourselves.

Here we see "the table". This holds such items as Crown Royal, Tequila, empty protein shake cups, empty beer bottles, Tinactin (ewww), ciggarettes, ashtrays, lighters, chip clips, old mail and misc. other things that are way too heavy to move to the garbage can. Note the remote that is disguised as a golf bag.

Some say we have a problem, I say we just like pretty silver and red boxes.

Here is the bag I use to practice my kickboxing on. Tonight, while sporting red slippers, I commenced to practicing after a little Tequila. (OK, OK, a LOT of Tequila) My husband knocked over several beer bottles after laughing at me kicking off my slipper, and watching it sail into the wall and back down. HARD. I did do a nice round-house, though, without falling over. YOU try that after 4 shots. Hrmph.

The red slippers. I am a total badass in these.

Warmth and entertainment. We ARE civilized, I'll have you know.

What garage would be complete without fuzziness? Here Lou is saying "Mom, can we PLEEEZ go back inside?? You are acting like total white trash!!!"

Darts: Pre-tequila. Jim said to me: "Nice Cluster". Yeah, I TOTALLY closed out 1's. Hee.

Darts: Post-tequila. Shut up.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Adult Supervision
So the other day, being the good and concerned stepmom that I am, I asked my stepson if he was still going to gym. He said not really cuz his mom had been busy. Since we go to the same gym, I told him that I would go with him and supervise if he wanted. He told me "Cheryl, you are the one that needs supervision." Little fucker. and I mean that in the nicest, most loving way ever. :)