Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Speaking of killing spiders...
...there is definately a RIGHT way and a WRONG way to kill a spider for me.

The RIGHT way:

1. Very quickly, and I mean QUICKLY run and get a large tissue or paper towel.
2. Wait for me to reach minimum safe distance from the killing ground.
3. Smash the spider into the tissue or paper towel, making sure you cannot see ANY of the spider. There should be no "spider residue" on the wall, either.
4. Take the dead spider wad IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION from where I am, and dispose of it in an outside garbage facility.

The WRONG way:

1. Take your time looking at the spider before you fetch anything to kill it with.
2. Tell me that spiders are "good" and shouldn't be killed because they eat bugs. BULLSHIT.
3. Kill the spider with your bare hand.
4. Scoop the spider up with a piece of paper and put it outside. IT WILL COME BACK IN TO GET ME.
5. Kill the spider, then try to walk towards me with its legs sticking out of a tissue.
6. Leave spider guts on the wall.
7. Whack the spider, letting it just fall to the ground AND NOT PICKING IT UP. This is a serious NO-NO.
8. Put the dead spider in the trash next to my desk. You KNOW it will be resurrected and come back to get me, right?
9. Put the dead spider in the toilet. They crawl back up, and I can't even finish this sentence...
10. and last, but not least...LAUGH AT ME AND TELL ME TO BE A BIG GIRL. I will kill you.


Anonymous said...

OMG, You've got to check out Skwigg's blog post for today! http://skwigg.tripod.com/blog/



Anonymous said...

So what are ya gonna be for Halloween? We know what DH is going to be.


Cheryl said...

I knew someone was going to ask me that. :) Generally, I don't dress up because it is much more fun to sit and watch Jim make an utter fool out of himself. HOWEVER, because we are having a bunch of people over this year, I've decide to dress up. A little. I bought a T-shirt that says "Cheap Ass Halloween Costume". It is from the movie House of 1000 Corpses. I am also going to put black paint stripes in my hair and wear black lip gloss. Lame, I know, but its something. It really won't matter after the 4th rum and coke...

Coco Church said...

I always suck spiders up with a vacuum. Haven't had one climb back out yet:)

SEV said...

dress up as a spider for halloween ?


one of the funnier one's i've come across..