Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Dog Thoughts
I got this really cute email awhile back, and eventhough you may have already read it, I thought that it was WAY appropriate for my blog:

Dog Thoughts

Things I MUST remember as a dog:

1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.

4. I must shake rain water out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

5. I will not eat the cat's food, before they eat it - or after they throw it up.

6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.

7. I will not throw up in the car.

8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.

10. I will not eat anymore kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom and dad's laps.

18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's license and car registration.

20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

21. I will not eat mint-flavored dental floss out of the bathroom and then have string hanging out of my butt.

22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option just after getting a bath.

23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying "hello".

24. I will not hump on any person's leg, just because I thought it was a good idea.

25. I will not fart in my owner's face while sleeping on the pillow next to their head.

26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply, and just because the water is blue, it doesn't mean its cleaner.

28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.

29. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly clear a room.

30. The cat is not a sqeaky toy, so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

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