Thursday, May 20, 2004

Why I don't want (and shouldn't have) kids

Note: I don't hate all kids, I just don't want any. I love my step son - we get along great. He is going to teach me more about web page design. I get asked all the time if I am planning to have kids. When I repy no, I get a ration of crap on how it would be different if it was my own, I need to contribute to society, it would make me less self centered, etc., etc., etc. Contribute to society? Bah! and who wants to be less self centered? That's no fun at all...

When I get home from my 10-16 hour work days, all I want to do is have a drink and fall asleep. I don't make dinner, I don't do laundry, I really don't do anything. I like it that way. (I do give Lou & mags all the belly scratching they want)

If the kid was bad, or if I wanted to go see a movie, I would want to put it in a crate. Society tends to frown on this. Plus, I would need a bigger crate.

I swear a lot.

I don't think babies are cute. I am afraid of them. My first instinct is to pet them. I run and hide (literally) when friends of mine have babies and want me to "see" them.

I spend a lot of time naked when I am at home.

I would have more pictures of the dogs than the kid in my wallet. My step son has just recently come to terms with my dog obsession. It took 12 years.

Its all about me.

I didn't like kids when I WAS a kid. What makes you think I'd like them now?

I am politically incorrect. Could you see me at a PTA meeting?

Kids slow me down at Disneyland.

I don't like cartoons or kiddie movies. (Except South Park)

When I want to take a nap, I TAKE A NAP.

When asked by a kid if they can have chocolate milk, or candy instead of dinner, or Mountain Dew instead of water or milk....I say "sure". I lead by example, and I don't like confrontation.

Giving birth has been compared to kidney stones. I've had kidney stones. That's enough.

EVERY SINGLE MOM I KNOW is absolutely thrilled when they get a day "without the kids". They are downright giddy about it. That really makes me go hmmmmmm...

No comments: