Thursday, March 25, 2004

What is wrong with me?
Remember that weightloss/muscle gain "competition" that I was doing with an unamable person? Well, I'm losing. I'M LOSING. CRAP! I just can't seem to stick with anything except eating chocolate. Doing that on a regular basis is no problem. I am starting to think that competition doesn't motivate me. It actually scares the hell out of me. I start out with the kick-butt attitude, then I end up wanting to sit in the corner and cry until I can't see out of my eyes and snot is dripping down onto my shirt. I guess, though, if I could figure out how to make this all easy - I would be a billionaire and then some. I may have to take a break from my trainer because I am feeling the need to pay more towards some of my bills. I love training, but it is very expensive - and I have written down a whole notebook of workouts that I could use on my hiatus. I also don't know how much longer I can be a scrapbook consultant. I am not selling as much as I need to be. OK, I know it sounds like I am this pathetic giver-upper, but actually the doctor says I need to CHILL, and cut some things out in order to have more relax time. *sigh* I'm not good at relaxing. Jim thinks I am a freak when I start cleaning the house at 10pm and won't stop.

Louie and Mags are good little listeners. While sitting on the toilet this morning, I explained my life's dilemmas to them. They cocked their heads, and moved their ears back and forth. When about half way through, Louie started licking my leg as if to say: "I'm sorry mama, but PLEASE SHUT UP NOW AND LET US OUT!"

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