Thursday, February 26, 2004

Its a Conspiracy

I don't know what is happening this week, but everyone is out to irritate me....and it just can't ALL be me. I worked at the restaurant last night (just mere hours after the "McDonald's incident", mind you.) Every single customer I had informed me that they were on the Atkins diet - and then of course gave me their special orders from hell. (Newsflash: Waitresses really hate special orders, folks. Just order what is on the damn menu.) "Yes, I am on the Atkin's Diet (like I care) and I would like the Halibut special, but with no veggies and no potatoes - but could I substitute with extra sauce? Does the sauce have any carbohydrates? Do you have something you can give me besides this basket of bread? Could I have water without lemon?" I really just wanted to tell them "how about I just bring you some plain fish, a stick of butter, some bacon grease and our new low-carb beer?" That will be really good for you - you'll be guaranteed to lose lots of weight and then die of a heartattack from clogged arteries." But instead, I just have to smile and say "Why yes, we would be happy to accommodate your requests." It physically hurts me to say nothing. The Atkin's diet came out, what, like in the 70's? Hardly anyone noticed it then, but Mr. Atkins DIES - and all of sudden everyone is like "Hey! Let's do the deadman's diet". Weird. Fricking weird.

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