Friday, February 13, 2004

Doggies are gettin' all purdy today!

Yep, its grooming day. This is chaos at its best. I don't know how they know, but they know. I got up per usual, had my coffee, took my shower, got ready. The dogs were racing around the house panting and whining. How in GOD's good name do they KNOW? I said nothing. I didn't get the leashes out. NOTHING. They are telepathic, I swear. I wasn't acting any different than I usually do. Maybe they heard me say "groom" on the phone? Who knows.

Anyway, we got in the car. My dogs are not what you would call 'good car-riders'. They jump from the back seat to the front seat, to the floor, to the front seat, to the back seat. You get the picture. They make LOTS of noise. Louie sounds like a frigging choo-choo train with his panting. Dog hair flies around the car like a cat fight. The leashes get wrapped around me, the seats, and the levers you move the car seats with. Any beverage I take with me, gets spilled on whatever I am wearing. (You'd think I'd learn.) If I have to use the brake pedal, even a little bit, the dogs go flying. I will be investing in doggie seatbelts soon. Today, the stupid moron in front of me slammed on his brakes, then I slammed on my brakes. Then Louie did a face-plant into the heater. (He is OK, he has a head like a Stegosaurus.) Then, Louie looks at me like "Can't you drive, you stupid bitch?" No matter how much I yell "Sit! Stay! Lay down! Sit! Stop it! No! Sit!", it makes no difference. We could have graduated from the Obedience University with honors, and this would still happen. When I pull up to a stop light, people actually LAUGH. Louie likes to do the "I'm trying to dig out of the window!" routine, and apparently, this cracks people up.

When I pick them up this afternoon, I'm sure it will be revenge-city from the cute little fuzzy creatures.

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